| Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got... 2004-05-20 12:14:55 ET |
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haha, tonight is the big concert *boogies on down*
tomorrow i get up to take gabe to work , he got a job :) yay for him.
then i come home and go to sleep.
then i babysit matt to make sure he pays the cell phone bill that is $137 and he's saying he doesnt' have the money for (gee wonder why i told his dumbass two weeks ago that it would be due and HE'd have to pay it ALL right away)
mom and i are tapped out. i seriously have no money, and the girl i'm going to this concert with asked me to drive, and pay for parking. yeah lemme pull the money out my ass. what part of me not having a job does she not understand.
mom found out yesturday that she was "in the hole" in her bank account. i put that in " " cause well she's never really in the hole, she has a cushion in her account tomake sure that she doesn't go over, but the cushion from what i understand is only 1000 and she's over 600 so that means she's only got 400 or so left. go us.
she went over some cause i needed new jeans. we went to go get me some, and i thought for sure that we'd only buy like one pair, cause the only ones that fit me were the ones that weren't on sale. but no...she buys me 3 pair. which leads me to the reason i quoted J.Lo in my subject line..haha $29.99 for a pair of GLO jeans :) yeah that's right...i'm wearing her damn clothing line. gee wonder why they fit me so well..oh yeah..i have a huge ass. hahaha.
so..you know..don't be fooled by my hot ass jeans haha. i'm still the same ol' moi *shakes head*
anyway...enough of that babble.
i'm off to see Bowie now. peace out ya'll.
oh and pray for me that i don't get mugged tonight haha. lisa lives in the ghetto
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| Tomorrow at this time...where will I be?? 2004-05-19 18:53:31 ET |
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Listening to the one and only:
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| Let it fall... 2004-05-18 19:49:35 ET |
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In a circle, going round and round
As the starlight leads the way,
There's a lady, and without a sound
You can hear the words she says:
'It's gonna be alright,
It's not an easy life.
Let it fall...
Like the rain.
Let it fall...'
To my knowledge..written and performed by Matt Morris
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| A month in the life of me... 2004-05-15 20:05:05 ET |
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A month in my life, blows hardcore...
I've let someone into my life, ruined theirs in the process, then realized I should never have allowed myself to let them in in the first place. And now..the downward spiral of feeling like crap begins.
I'm not posting this to say "hey feel sorry for me" because I don't need pity, I pity myself enough already. I know what I did, and what I allowed to be done, and I know that whatever is wrong with me, cannot be solved very easily.
Something is wrong. Not many see it, not many understand it, and even fewer believe it. but it's there..and it's real...and if i could make it go away as easily as flipping a switch i would.
There are almost 2 sides to me...the one who wants live a normal life ...the one who loves doing things and being around people and being active...
and then there's the other side, like my evil twin or something. the side that hates nearly every aspect of my own being. the one who because of my own self esteem issues, can not love another person to the full extent that I would need to right now.
Some of you may know...some of you may not, but recently I let someone in...I loved someone and allowed them to love me...but I shouldn't have. I thought I had dealt with my issues and I hadn't. And now, the issues are worse because of it...because not only did i alter my own life by allowing all of this to occur, I altered another person's life as well...I am responsible for the anquish caused to them...and beyond all else I want to say that I am sorry.
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