I'm thinking about breaking myself  

I think I been waiting for way too long  

I'm thinking about getting out  

  SaraSidel    Section ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
All I can do, is be me

*I'm used to certain people always exceeding over me. even though I am far more outgoing than I was I'm still shy about certain things and I don't know how much I want that to change.

*I don't lie about who I am or try to pretend I'm something that I'm not.

*I like different kinds of music depending on my mood and my style is only the tshirt and jeans style because I can't pull off anything else right now (but I will...cause I'm definitely losing weight ^.^). otherwise I'd probably wear more goth or 50's inspired clothes. I really love that stuff.

*I really want to learn how to dance, swing would be ideal, there are a few choreographers I would pay loads to work with however I don't have that kind of money.

*I don't like to sing in front of other people however put me in a car and I probably will (sorry guys) I don't pretend to know how to sing I just like singing certain songs. I'm big into lyrics..if I don't know them I will learn them as soon as I can.

*I know how to treat people, yeah I'm sarcastic and cynical at times but I really do think that's a defense against getting my heart broken over and over again, or maybe not even heart broken just disappointed. Be a bitch and that shit can't happen right? ^.^

*At any rate, that's me. Which isn't good enough for some people but that's fine. When you are tired of the drama and the high-maintenance people you can look me up, I'm really quite simple and I promise to be drama free.

"Nothing says 'good job' like a firm open-palm slap on the behind"

" the end of the day it all boils down to happiness. there is no perfect someone, you just have to find someone who makes you happier with the least amount of effort. love should not be a chore. cheer up, let the world see you happy and love will find you..."
"To be Irish is to know that in the end the world will break your heart" Daniel Patrick Moynihan

"All of us are in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" Oscar Wilde

"Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart" W.B. Yeats

 Saturday, March 8th 3:39 am    2008-03-07 22:39:57 ET
I decided to sit and share some random Tasha facts incase you wanted to know..granted you might not want to know..but you don't have to read this ^.^

- I don't like sleeping in the dark, unless I'm not alone

- I'd probably perish without music in my life

- I love scary movies, but I don't like watching them alone ><<BR>
- I play Family Guy for background noise when there's nothing on TV

- I'm not an "ass girl", oddly enough, I like backs (still haven't figure that one out)

- I'm used to being alone, but that doens't mean I like it

- I eat fried noodles when there's nothing else to cook

- I have a tattoo and want more

- I like some of Britney Spears' music

- I really wish I could pull off some kind of mohawk hairstyle

- Purple Rain is one of my essential albums

- When someone messes with my hair I get goosebumps

- I'm EXTREMELY ticklish, and I will hurt you if you try but not on purpose, it's reflex.

- Pleasantville is one of my favorite movies

- I have far more shoes than I know what to do with, they currently occupy 2 tubs in my closet, I wear maybe 4 pairs

- I will always worry about being that annoying girl everyone talks shit about

- I like skippy peanut butter ^.^

- One of my defensive behaviors is to turn into a sarcastic bitch, I tend to be somewhat sarcastic all the time, however if I've been hurt I get bitchy...and hurtful back. >< it's a girl thing I guess<BR>
- I love playing in warm rain

- I am a sucker for romantic things

- It might not show but I am pretty confident about who I am as a person

- However, I don't like making the first move...just incase I screw it up ><<BR>
- Though I try to hope for the best, I don't usually set my expectations very high, that way I don't get disappointed.
1 comment

 Thursday February 21, 2008 6:41 pm    2008-02-21 13:44:16 ET
So for the first time in my ENTIRE life I told a guy how I felt before he told me..well in a way.

I randomly got the urge to ask him if he'd ever consider dating me. unfortunately i got the urge on v-day. i didn't even think about it before i said something..

unfortunately his answer was that before that day he probably would have said yes.

he's scared.

he's scared to date anyway because he's afraid that it will mess with his plans for school and all that because that's what happened last time he dated someone.

i keep getting told that it was a no but not a definitive no.

i don't know how to take it.

i finally grow some balls and he loses

 Sunday January 27, 2008 12:07 pm    2008-01-27 07:08:04 ET
I didn't want to get out of bed today

Which is very bad

Because I wasn't in my bed


I'm not sure how to take all of this

 January 22, 2008 8:25 am    2008-01-22 03:31:08 ET
Laying here trying to sleep which is increasingly difficult with the idiot puppy upstairs that they obviously don't have trained yet. damn thing runs all over and then barks and yelps and whines. i'm almost to the point of leaving them a note on their door and asking if they know that their dog freaks out when they leave the apt. my guess is they don't cause i doubt my neighbor down here can hear it since it seems as tho the dog is located directly above my bedroom ><<BR>
speaking of dogs, my 15 year old shih tzu is being put down Friday. she's having issues walking and seeing so mom can't stand to see her like that anymore. apparently she runs in to a lot of stuff when she is moving and otherwise doesn't move cause one of her back legs is really weak. it's time tho, the poor dog is pretty old. i thought i was going ot be ok with it but it hit me this morning and now i have a raging headache from crying so much. i can't be there when it happens so i'm hoping my mom will be ok. well i know she won't, but i hope she makes it through it ok. i'm going to see if she wants to keep stitch for a while so she isn't completely alone in the house. that's going to be the hardest part for her. i'm worried about depression setting in because i'm not there and now suzie won't be there so she won't have anything to do. i don't know what to do about it though, i already moved out not much i can do to change that cause i'm not going back now. i want to get her another puppy but i'm pretty sure she'd kill me if i did. i'll give it some time and see how she does, if it seems like she needs it then i'll go ahead and get her one. just she's very picky about the kind of german shepard she wants...i'll have to do some research.

i apologize for any spelling or grammar or spacing errors in this, i don't have my glasses on and i can't see the screen well. i'm too lazy to put them on right now since i'm probably just going to roll back over and go to sleep.

i don't know why i'm rambling...guess i'll stop now no one reads this shit anyway hah.

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