There is a God and He Loves Me!
2006-06-13 10:14:01 ET

Proof that God exists and loves me:

Westbound Train @ the Cafe Metropolis
June 24th, 2006


Kismet! That they should play on THAT particular date. I'm telling you God loves me today!

2006-06-08 03:01:26 ET

Last night I had two dreams. The first one I dreamt I was living in Yonkers (**shudders**). The second dream, Nicholas Cage was my boyfriend. How bizzare...

Also...This post is brought to you by today's theme song...

I Love Myself Today ~ Bif Naked

"You left me like a broken doll
In pieces as I took the fall
for you, you dumb chump!
You left me free-fall like space junk
Burning up in the atmosphere of life

Well I sound like a philosopher
but I'm a fool who's off her rocker
'Cause I let you in my heart that one last time

I've had enough, made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wild!

I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever

Well look at you you're all puffed up
In that big red truck - but you're outta luck (this time)
Well, that's tough
'Cause I'm on fire - too hot to touch
with a chatroom full of lovers on the line
Gonna step right up. Spit shine my soul
I'm gonna be proud and loud and outta control!

I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever

I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you was like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes

I've had enough. Made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wild!

I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now

I love myself today
Not like yesterday
You're dead and gone
I'm gonna get my way
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever!!"

"Old Wrinkle Face" captures the feeling of the day
2006-06-01 13:45:32 ET

Nothing Gold Can Stay~ Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Once by the Pacific~ Robert Frost

The shattered water made a misty din.
Great waves looked over others coming in,
And thought of doing something to the shore
That water never did to land before.
The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,
Like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.
You could not tell, and yet it looked as if
The shore was lucky in being backed by cliff,
The cliff in being backed by continent;
It looked as if a night of dark intent
Was coming, and not only a night, an age.
Someone had better be prepared for rage.
There would be more than ocean-water broken
Before God's last 'Put out the Light' was spoken.

4 comments

**whew**
2006-05-24 10:41:57 ET

So Mum is ok. Things are back to normal now. Thank God. :o)

Hell's Bells! The Bouncing Souls/Slackers show at the Knitting Factory is sold out! Jen (futonrevolutionist) just got home from Germany and we so wanted to go. I think I shall spend the next hour in brooding....damn damn damn
2 comments

**sigh**
2006-05-23 03:24:00 ET

Among the things that upset me are the following two:

1.) Tomorrow my Mum has to go for surgery...We don't know if it's going to be serious or not yet.

2.) Tonight, in Philly, Lee "Scratch" Perry is playing with Dub is a Weapon and I can't/shouldn't go.

Among the things that make me happy is the following:

I had that recurring dream last night where Billie Joe Armstrong kidnaps me. **sighs dreamily**

Oooh! Now I understand...
2006-05-22 15:35:54 ET

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

"A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom."

Phenomenal Woman ~ Maya Angelou

"Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me."
1 comment

You can't say we're satisfied...
2006-05-17 03:29:51 ET

How much do you have to miss someone before you split wide open?

Angie ~ The Rolling Stones

"Angie, Angie, when will those clouds all disappear?
Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?
With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats
You can't say were satisfied
But Angie, Angie, you can't say we never tried
Angie, youre beautiful, but ain't it time we said good-bye?
Angie, I still love you, remember all those nights we cried?
All the dreams we held so close seemed to all go up in smoke
Let me whisper in your ear:
Angie, Angie, where will it lead us from here?
Oh, Angie, dont you weep, all your kisses still taste sweet
I hate that sadness in your eyes
But Angie, Angie, ain't it time we said good-bye?
With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats
You can't say were satisfied
But Angie, I still love you, baby
Evrywhere I look I see your eyes
There ain't a woman that comes close to you
Come on baby, dry your eyes
But Angie, Angie, ain't it good to be alive?
Angie, Angie, they can't say we never tried"
2 comments

Let it be....
2006-05-13 07:35:57 ET

I figured something out today. I thought I had let go, but Obviously, I hadn't. So I last night I wrote a letter, opened my hands and let it all slip away to God. Patience, after all, is a virtue...

Let go and Let God

"As children bring their broken toys,
with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
because he is my friend.
But instead of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back again
and cried, 'How can you be so slow?'
'My child' He said, 'What could I do?
You never did let go.'"

2006-05-10 15:41:39 ET

"A whisper in a dead man's ear doesn't make it real."
2 comments

"If your intentions are pure I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world"
2006-05-01 17:29:51 ET

Ok, so this is a dare...I never could resist a good dare. And it was either this or...well, nevermind. ;o)

*Charismatic red-headed Leo seeks man*
(Job hoppers, video game addicts and hermits need not apply.)

Man must have following credentials:
**please supply two letters of reference and a crimial reference check**

-Educated (and seeking to always continue to learn)
-Employed (full time with benefits is a plus)
-Debt is bad. (Do not apply is you are more than $100 in debt.)
-Knows how to save
-Is not selfish, a liar or secretive
-Able to love, something other than himself and his car
-Has cut the apron strings but still loves Mom
-Respectful to father
-Mannerly
-Supportive and able to hold a conversation
-Not afraid to make connections and take the lead
-Has good work ethic
-Enjoys concerts (of all kinds)
-Can handle being outside in sunshine for more than 10 minutes
-Athletic
-Humorous (able to laugh at self and see humor in many different situations)
-Likes movies (will take Leo to see scary flicks)
-Likes to read (porn is not reading material; it doesn't count.)
-artistic (ie, writer, painter, musician, film-maker)
-enjoys road trips (esp. ones ending at the beach)
-Can handle said Leo singing along with the car radio
-Can handle said Leo's often tactless honesty
-Enjoys second hand shops, flea markets and the like
-Likes holding hands and giving said Leo flowers or surprise trinkets (need not be expensive)
-Does not throw temper tantrums when lost on the road
-Enjoys the feel of the big cities but is comfortable at home
-Can navigate through big cities with relative ease
-Won't pout or moan when asked to join Leo in a museum excursion
-Has friends of his own whom he sees more than once a month
-Can eat and drive at the same time
-Is compassionate and understanding
-Likes to stay in (sometimes)
-Likes kids (wants to have a family one day)
-Catholic boy would make said Leo's mother happy.
-Pro-life
-spontaneous yet gentle
-Acts his age
-Is responsible and can be trusted
-Likes cats and/or dogs but fish are out (fish are for catching and eating)
-Has some type of comic book collection, will let Leo shop for graphic novels
-Likes to drive with the windows down
-Can dance (break dancing and smash dancing don't count. Rhythmless motion doesn't count either. Old school rude-bwoys are acceptable.)
-Can make a decent mix tape (old school style, deck to deck)
-Likes the outdoors (hiking, swimming, camping etc.)
-At least knows how to light a grill and/or build a fire
-Can, at the very least, change a flat tire
-Can handle car shows, outdoor fairs and amusement parks
-Drinkers are ok, alcoholics are not
-Smokers are yucky to kiss
-Must own an iron and know how to use it.
-Wears deodorant and brushes teeth daily.
-Showering daily is a must
-Facial hair is ok if properly groomed.
-Has managed to keep a pet or plant alive.
-Not afraid to be an individual but knows how to work the system.
-Thinks music is important


Bad Day ~ Daniel Powter

"Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day"

6 comments

New Musical Listenings
2006-04-29 11:53:32 ET

Check it.

Shannon Marsyada

2006-04-28 18:35:01 ET

So Alanis Morissette used to be an angry, angry woman...I liked her that way.

If today had a track list this would be it:

You Oughta Know ~ Alanis Morissette
Rock the Cradle of Love ~ Billy Idol
Spiderwebs ~ No Doubt
I Need a Lover Who Won't Drive Me Crazy ~ John Couger Mellancamp
Bad Day ~ Daniel Powter

You Oughta Know ~ Alanis Morissette

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know



Spiderwebs ~ No Doubt

You think that we connect
That the chemistryís correct
Your words walk right through my ears
Presuming I like what I hear
And now Iím stuck in the web
Youíre spinning
You got me for your prey...

Sorry Iím not home right now
Iím walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And Iíll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And Iíll call you back

Youíre intruding on whatís mine
Yeah and youíre taking up my time
Donít have the courage inside me
To tell you please let me be

Communication, a telephonic invasion
Iím planning my escape

Sorry Iím not home right now
Iím walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And Iíll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And Iíll call you back

And itís all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls

Now itís gone too deep (now itís gone too deep)
You wake me in my sleep (wake me in my sleep)
My dreams become nightmares (dreams become nightmares)
ícause youíre ringing in my ears (ringing in my)

Sorry Iím not home right now
Iím walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And Iíll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And Iíll call you back

And itís all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter matter matter matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls

Ooh spiderwebs
Leave a message and Iíll call you back
Iím walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message and Iíll call you back
Itís all your fault
I screen my phone calls
No matter matter matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls
Itís all your fault
Itís all your fault
No matter who calls
No matter who calls

Iím walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message and Iíll call you back
Iím walking into spiderwebs
Leave a message and Iíll call you back...

Oh itís all your fault
No matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls
Itís all your fault
No matter matter matter who calls
I screen my phone calls
Iím walking into spiderwebs
Leave a message and Iíll call you back
1 comment

spring in the city
2006-04-15 09:12:12 ET

Spring besets my city
There was a time when
you loved this place as well as I
There was a time when you too
appreciated the dirty charm and
cracked smiling streets
You began to love it because it was part of me.
You felt in my veins
the cold black diamond dust
and you loved it too.
Is it only you who can also appreciate
the beauty in the sound of passing trailors?
The long whistles of my trians are hollow now.
We once kicked up dust here
in the parking lots we dreamed of a future
Spring besets my city
but you are still gone.
New breezes offer respite from the winter's gales.
But the leaves bloom in silence
Spring with all its promise
bites as hard as winter.
3 comments

Reposting
2006-04-11 16:44:30 ET

A repost. Because I promised someone I would. Enjoy.

At the museum
2005-02-25 09:48:15 ET

At the museum of all things rare and beautiful,
Behind the viewing glass,
glinting inside the scintillation of compressed anthracite,
winking its sleepy eye; mocking relentlessly,
crouches a dream; woken from polarization.
The shine and circle: a force as gravity
Winking in the facets: a home, fidelity, a child.
Family
Honest, hard work, true monogamy and a pretty white picketed fence.
Mayberry never saw it so good.
One facet winks strength and another values.
A particulary stubborn angle projects religion, morals:
A patriarchal family grounded in the faith.
Held as Plato's ideal behind the viewing glass
A reminder of what used to be
Standing with face pressed to glass
staring into facets and blinding light
Diving into the carbon fills an empty place
A woken dream relfected in my eyes; motionless on its velvet pedestal
A contemplative hope for the future.
1 comment

you never know
2006-04-02 18:19:56 ET

Your passing erupts from me in spastic hiccups.
I cannot predict it's fury.
I cannot try to hold it back.
It comes at the passing of a car
or the sound of a song.
Last night it came in dreams.
My head upon your chest
we danced perfectly attuned.
I woke in wet pillowcases.
I cannot escape this rape even in my sleep.

The water in the shower accosted me with memories.
Had I known that we would part so soon or ever,
I would have kissed you longer there in the rain that day.
I would have lingered longer against the Irish backdrop
and loitered in the smell of you.
Regret.


Jump to page: [Previous] 1 2 3 4 5 6 » 20 [Next]
Back to ShinyStar's page