2003-01-03 23:50:19 ET

i've been floating about LA for a few days. thankful to be back home.

the night we got back, i left the house to hang out with brian the instant i became available. we headed over to the pig. and being the brillant girl i am. i decided to get a double mocha. caffeine = bad idea. considering i had slept a large percentage of the way home. i was already going to stay up late, but this double mocha just completely screwed me out of getting any sleep.

(insert side note: "while i was sleeping on the way home, i was awoken, to a quick swurve, a panic frenzy, and a bunch of cussing. my eyes open to the trailer of what is a particularly large semi-truck, hauling mysterious items draped in black. after a brief de-roading, and gaining control. i inquire as to what is going on. essentially two trucks, that look exactly the same have been playing cat and mouse with three or so mini-vans. apparently we were number two on the to-kill list. the first van speeded by the truck and only swurved a slight bit. the second mini-van (me + family) had to swurve and slightly drive in the dirt on the side of the road. van number three, had to completely swurve to miss the swurving truck and ended up completely off the road. after things calmed down, i went back to sleep.)

we sat over by the pool table, and chatted. mindlessly watching a group of men play pool. after the q-ball started to fly all over the place, we decided it was time to head out. we were first gonna catch LoTR TT, but at about eleven i don't think they are gonna have any shows for a three hour film. we headed back up to my area, and after a series of coups and my utter resistance. brian finally gave up on wanting me to drive his car. so we headed back to my house, and ended up sitting in the car staring out his moon roof at the sky, talking. until, i thought a planet was a satelte and swore it was moving. brian became a moon roof nazi and close it. eventaully when i was back open, more insanity pursued. i kept him up past his bed time, and ran into my house.

funny thing was, i ended up talking to him more on the internet when he got home. 5 a.m. rolls by and i had to be up at ten. :/ ewwwwww.

teusday: well. new years eve. the day was filled with insanity, mostly due to a lack of sleep. but then again these days i don't seem to get much of it at all. i had work and then came home. and stared at my dog. realizing i had to get ready for darren's party, i slithered into my room. making friends with a few wasps that have decided to have a fatal ending vacation in my room. after sleuthing about i pick out an outfit, and attack the phone. enough time to shower throw on some make-up and put on some boots. brian arrives and we head on down to the city of burbank. we spend most of time outside and in the kitchen. i became friends with a bowl of m&m's (death to lilac m&m's) and some chips n salsa. i think at one point we actaully nerded everyone out of the backyard by attempting to figure out if a bright light in the sky was saturn or not. there was a trampoline, and i was tempted, but then looked down at the 20i boots and vetoed against that idea. the new year came and it was quite anti-climactic. then again, i really just don't get it. a few hugs were shared with some friends of friends, mainly really nice people. so after all the hooplay, we headed back inside. my hands froze. had a nice converation with darren, drank a little cham-pag-nea, and watched brian play pool. brian and i headed over to his house to watch some movies and chill. unfortunitely, appliances can be tempermental bitches, and i can be a sleepy kitty. so we didn't get to finish "resevoir dogs". ended up crashing.

new years day: series of phone calls, and ended up going late to work. weeeeeee. viva! it was entirely impossible for me to get up. after some tasty coco's it was time for work. the day went by pretty quick. and i was home, for some good sleeping action.

thrusday: brian came over, we finished watching "way of the gun" and "resevoir dogs". we had a slurpee break, and pranced like idiots (ok, not really. we ended up driving.) down to the 7-11. we probably looked like drug addicts, the cashier gave me a nasty look, but it may have been the stupid grin i had on my face. either or. then it was two/three-ish episodes of insomniac with dave attel, saturday night live, and conan o'brien. then it was time becaues we were both falling asleep. so like the responible person i am, i let him drive home.

friday: work. but i got to play with a ferret tonight so, i'm good.

i was listening to some madonna, and was thinking that alot of the stuff i like are "guilty pleasures". you know. stuff you know you shouldn't like but just do. how many exactly can you think of? cause i've got quite a list. viva crappy pop.

size 3.
2002-12-29 15:53:19 ET

beetleginny goes to the big city.

i'd like to imagine i'm madeline. today the family and i went to san fransisco. i got to ride across the bay bridge for the first time.

out first stop was chinatown. now, i wasn't exactly too sure why we went there. but we did. i got to play navigator. i was actaully doing quite well at navigating us through the city. cheers to me.

chinatowns everywhere have this smell. its a very disticnt smell. a smell that frankly make me nautious. so i tnd to have to grin and bear it while we are visiting a chinatown.

i ment to buy some candied ginger. but i missed my window of opputunity. soon after we headed over to haight street. ultra hip place, and has the same type of feeling like telegraph in bezerkly. we went through a couple stores, i saw lots of cute stuff but nothing that fit me. for once, my boobs were big. usually i can't fill something, not the case today. however, once we got into the buffalo exchange my luck changed. i picked up four very cyber-esque dresses/tops. and a pair of plugs that i thought would fit. but they are a little bit too big for my 2 gauges.

i've had quite a nice amount of time to think about things. which has been nice. i've been too busy to sit down and actaully think about the things that have been going on around me. things aren't that bad. and are actaully pretty well.
i had a boyfriend who was terribly afraid of being comfortable with someone. now, not completely outward in his actions, but just semi-minor things.

a. absolutely zero PDA, i broke him down to where he would let me hold his hand. and i think we may have hugged a few times. but before that, zero nothing.

b. we were once watching SFU, and brenda went to the bathroom infront of nate. and the boy freaked out. he just thought that was sooooo weird and gross.

c. he couldn't brush his teeth infront of me. oh, and he also refused to use my toothbrush. even after he had been staying at my house for days on end. i just found this weird, cause i mean, we kissed. i do rinse my tooth brush off. and my placgue wouldn't exactly burn through his head. besides its less hygenic to not brush your teeth than share someone elses toothbrush. (good point from brian)

i was thinking about my level of comfortability with people. and i'd say it can get pretty dang high. sometimes what freaks me out is how quickly it happens. now mind you i think i have about five levels. most people exist at a two. good friends three/four. i don't think i've ever reached five with someone. i don't know what brought that on exactly. i was just thinking maybe i'm not so abnormal after all.

i had another thing i wanted to type out, but my brain has lost it.

2002-12-27 22:03:17 ET

sloth in it's finest form.

and it doesn't get any better than this.

yesturday, i lounged about all day. and then ate some food. i know. but you wanna know what. its the first day i've managed to get to do that.

today we went into the city of berkley. telegraph st. to be exact. an uber hipster joint. i spied on the locals. bought a polka-dot dress. i'm saving the brick for SF. and went to the ameoba here. bought $77 worth of cd's. i'd tell you what i bought. but... wait. what the hell.

:depeche mode-exciter
:david bowie-black tie/white noise
:madonna-die another day (single)
:peaches-teaches of peaches (expanded us version)
:the cardigans-first band on the moon
:stereolab-dots and loops

its great. cause now i've got all the songs all nice and purty. *prances* don't ever stand between a girl and her madonna.

the street is uber cute, filled with nice little shops. just a great over all place to hang out. especially to people watch. everyones very cool. and they don't really have that uppity LA snob thing to them. i can't really think of thing right now. my mind is sorta turnin into mush. arhg.

i had alot of time to some thinking the past few days. its been really nice. now, mind you. i haven't exactly been having total epiphanies about my life. but i've just realized alot of stuff. i'm kinda happy with myself. which is nice. although. my hair needs to change.

i forgot to mention this:
" [26 Dec 2002|09:22pm] i have spent the last few hours of my life, removing my dred extensions and brushing out my actual dreds. i have lost a huge amount of hair. and can only fear what will result once it dries. i think i am going to dye it black, and attempt to grow a new head of hair, of course i will be putting back in my dred extesions. i can even imagine how weird i'm gonna look with at least half my hair missing. granted its still past my shoulders but the volume has been cut down signifigantly. possibly tomarrow while venturing into the city, i'll pick up some fake hair, black hair dye, and some rubber bands. this little lesson is making me want to cut my hair and straighten it. something i will probably regret even more. time to look at quinstars page, and pray to god i can fix this before i return to LA. "

so, regrettin takin them out? fake dreds yes. real dreds no.

do you know what it is like to wash your hair after... *thinks* three months plus? its kinda gross. i don't advice it. at least i can scratch my head without getting my nails filled with skin and oil. plus this means people can get close to my head without wanting to dause me in fabreeze.

i'm starting to get a bit homesick. missing my friends, and wanting to go out. i just really wanna go out and play. or watch zim and sizzle.

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