|"you watch the girls like a predator"|
2005-01-01 12:02:34 ET
I spent New Years Eve with Jesse at cobbs comedy club and then several strip clubs on broadway. We chowed on vegan sushi and missed the countdown to midnight due to lame strip club d.j.'s. Saw fireworks and fell into the lame. I think I will turn a blind eye and play stupid to extend my own happiness just this once. Yup.
2004-12-28 07:24:07 ET
after a month of thinking it was all about the sex I went to his house and we did that just that. this made me (and him too apparently) freak out all day yesterday. We decided that we need to be friends and that is all. This is not what I want. Not at all. But what anyone wants and what they need are very different. This will always be the case. I can't stand this crap anymore, so I need a friend. I hope he can be it and I can move the fuck on. To something stable normal and less complicated. Ha. Good fucking luck right?
I just hope I don't spend the next 5 years or so harboring the idea that when I am older I will still want him and vice versa. Maybe I need therapy.
oh uh. Happy Holidays!
2004-12-27 07:57:17 ET
my grandmother finally accepted the fact that i'm vegan and made me a bunch of extra stuff for christams and set it aside. I cried. thats ridiculous. It is the best present that I received. I am a person! woot! I love my Amah. It made my life. I will resist shit talking my Amah from now on. Also. I quit drinking agian. This also is ridiculous. I have to make up my mind and I can't do it. I will someday.
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