stupid funny stupid    2005-01-31 11:59:33 ET
and a quick update -- my boyfriend was just reading my SK and informed me that in a post, I typed "Amerika'da ölüyorum"

"I am dying in america."

Yeah woops -- meant to say "Sizi Amerika'da özlüyorum" - I am missing you (plural) in America.

Have a fun lingusticly blessed night

 my private student Ömer, he has himself a lisp, "Thursday comes out Tursssstay"...    2005-01-31 10:37:53 ET
...let me finish my poem *ahem*:

My private student Ömer,
he has himself a lisp.
"Thursday comes out Tursssstay"
I laughed so hard I almost pissed.

Well, today was my private lesson with Ömer the business man. Again, preposition day, all was going well until the end of the lesson...

I said "ok, Ömer, so I will see you on Thursday -- same time, same place" and he said "yes, Tursssstay at sree. See you then! :-D". He said Thursday with his tonuge hanging out of this mouth to the fullest extent, with the biggest lisp possible. This isnt the first time its happened.

You see, in the Turkish language (along with many others) the sound "th" doesnt exist. Ive found it to come out one of three ways: "da" "za" or "ptttttth".

So what do I say to Ömer?...
"Hmmm, I see you've been having some problems with words that begin with 'th' --"
-"No, no problem -- disssss zatsss TURSSSSSSAY - I understand, I am understanding"
"Yes, Ömer, I see that BUT, the pronuncation is just a little bit... DIFFERENT."
--"Ok, I try zissssss datssssss TURTSSSSSSSSAY."
"Ok, good good - now try pulling your tongue back into your mouth a bit quicker."
*contemplates for a moment*
--"my... tongue... my... dilim mi? (my tongue?)"
"Evet, doğru -- dilin (yes, that's right -- your tongue). Bana bak (watch me). Thurs-day. Your tongue pops out for a moment and then goes back in again -- like a turtle."
*contemplates for a moment*
"Thurs... day. Thurs... day. Th... is. Th... at."
--I do not understand.
"Tamam - 'Thursday' Türkçe'de 'Perşembe', 'this' = 'bu', 'that' = 'şu' ya da 'o' (Thursday in Turkish is Perşembe, this = bu, that = şu or o)-"
--Hayir hayir (no no) yani (like) turtle. What is turtle??? Turtle ne? (What is turtle)
"Turtle... turtle... I do not know. Umm let me draw a picture for you on the board. *draws a crappy picture of a turtle*"
--AH! AHHHHHHHH! ANLADIM ANLADIM (I understand, I understand). Turtle. Ok. My tongue is like turtle head ok.
"Yes, just like a turtle's head. For the sound (ses) of 'th' you must put just the very tip of your tongue (dil) between your teeth (dişlerine) this way (böyle). Then, you must pull it back INTO your mouth for the 'ss' sound. Now you try."
--Ok, no problem. Thurthday. Turthday! :-D"
"Ok. Ok, well, keep practising -- "thh" is a very difficult sound for Turks, you keep practising and you'll get it soon :)"


Some other words we have trouble with:

this = dis (with heavy lisp)
that = zat (with a lisp)
Thursday = tursssstay (with the worst imaginable lisp possible)
the = da/di

Now, no offense to anybody at all who in real-life reading this has or has had a lisp -- I had a HORRIBLE lisp when I was younger and was teased heavily for it. Looking back upon it now, yes, it was comical. And yes, I find a comical sense here too... I just...

Frankly, Im worried for the guy. He's travelling to America in July to do business and needs to be able to speak English WELL. So, Im teaching him. Im teaching him well (so well that my rate is $17 an hour) -- he's learned alot in the past 2 months. But if somebody asks him "So, what day are we meeting?" and he replys "THURTHHHHHHDAY, MY FRIEND! :-D How is my English???", they're gonna be like "lol!!! rightttttt deal's closed funny little English-speaking Turkish man. Come back when you can get your tongue out from between your teeth..."

Ömer, Ömer, Ömer -- I pray to GOD you will soon understand the motion needed to make a proper "ThurSday".

And now its off to make lesson plans for my Intermediate English conversation class tomorrow at 11:30... the intermediate level class that never shows up. Ever. Ever ever ever. I take 20 minutes to walk there, get there, they dont show up, and then I walk 20 minutes BACK. Yeah. They're working on apologize -- HEY! There's my lesson plan "let's apologize to the teacher who trudges through snow EVERY SINGLE DAY for you! Goddamnit!".

No, no, no -- of course not! I like all my students (seriously -- they have other classes at universities that they gotta go to. I TOTALLY understand and just feel like complaining :)).

Yay for lesson plans. And I gotta use the toilet. Uff, this cafe has a TURKISH TOILET. Yuckity yuck... looks like Im holding it until I get home.

Sorry, that was graphic. I'm gonna go now...


 Typhus Day    2005-01-30 07:53:57 ET
Today was "Typhus Day" for my upper-intermediate students. We read a passage about the plauges of England in the 1400s.

"What does plague mean?"
--"Its a not good thing."

"That's right, its a not good thing, erm rather -- its a bad thing."
--"What is to mean 'rapidly'?"
--"With quickness."
*strange confused looks*
*more strange confused looks*
*no response, one of my smartest students poses the following to me...*

"Rebecca Hanım, 'rapidly' is meaning 'fast' like 'my girlfriend takes me to my bedroom and touches me with fastliness. I am then happy fast.'? Is this true?"
--"Erm... no, not quite Özkan, thank you for that though - "
--"What if I say 'My girlfriend takes me to my bedroom and touches my body with fastliness.'?"
--"Umm... no, you see, 'fastliness' does not exist in the English language. Let's try a different example, shall we?..."

Yeah, what was I supposed to say? "Özkan, the better choice for that sentence is 'My girlfriend takes me to my bedroom and touches my body with rapidness' or 'rapidly'. I become happy quickly."

Yeah, this was one of my better classes... yesterday somebody asked me if they could borrow my 'rubber'. "I'm sorry Alpay, I don't readily carry condoms with me, but, you're welcome to borrow my eraser..."


And now, for a very tourmented bestest friend in the world, these lyrics are what you should be saying right now. Good luck! :)
Said I've paid my dues for all that I've done
And I showed you that I loved you more than once
Theres nothing left there to decide

Said you might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice

Freedom to us has always been a trick
Freedom to u has always been who ever landed on your dick
Seen it in you one to many times

Said you might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice, no

Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice
Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice, no
Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice
No I won't let you trick me twice

Those days are old and overdone
And it's only cause I'm not with you that you make me number one
Though I may love you

It hurts me deep inside and
Now you no longer have to hide

I used to be down with the late night hit
Started gettin' heavy when I really wasn't ready
Used my past to get in my mind
So I fell for your lies like all the time
I thought you were the shit to be playin' around
Call the police there's a mad girl in town
Couldn't get even here without a sound
It's not how I wanna get down, Yeah

Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice
Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice, no
Might trick me once
I won't let you trick me twice
No, I won't let you trick me twice
No, I won't let you trick me twice

Cos I've paid my dues for all that I've done
And I showed you that I loved you more than once
There's nothing left there to decide

Trick me I won't let you trick me twice
You might trick me once
I won't let me trick you twice
You might trick me once
No I won't let me trick you twice, no
You might trick me once
No I won't let me trick you twice

İyi geceler :)

 ma-ia-HIIII!!!!! ma-ia-HOOOO!!!    2005-01-29 11:55:32 ET
So tired. And hungry. BLAHHHHH!

So, I had class today at 5:30 -- elementary level... the elementary class from hell.

Before going there and waking up at 12, I ventured out of the house exploring. I found some really good bread, then ventured on. Bought postcards to mail home. Found a vet for Fifi the cat. Then I ventured on to a store like Wal-mart called Migros. Bought Oğuz a new hat, some paper towels, and alphabet soup (a la turka -- gonna try it in a few minutes).

Took a cab home from there, got dressed for work, grabbed Fifi and ran to the vet. Fifi may be pregnant I find out. The doctor gives me a parasite pill to give Fifi because she keeps farting, burping, and shitting green. The whole thing cost me 7 YTL (about 4.50 dollars).

Came back home, changed my clothes because my pants broke. THEN I walked with Oğuz to work a bit -- we split when he reached the internet cafe. Took a cab from there to work, got there, had the class from hell. Well, not from HELL, it just didnt go well. Came home with a headache (walked home, the traffic noise didn't help). Then, dragged Oğuz to Beğendik (kinda like Target, a bit fancier, bigger), bought kedi kumu (cat litter), some canned food so Fifi can take her pill, and a new pooper-scooper (the old one magically disappeared...). Then, I parked myself here at the internet cafe. Been here for 2 hours or so, now I gotta go because its closing (almost 12am here). And a song stuck in my head: DRAGOSTEA DIN TEI by a Romanian group called 'the outlaws' (dont know it in romanian).

sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai...

maia HA HA!

Yeah, another song worth downloading :)

And now, Turkish practise:
Selam arkadaşlarım! Naber, Nasılsınız? İyi misiniz? Sizi Amerika'da ölüyorum. Mutluyum ama ÇOK mutluyum şimdi. Oğuz çok seviyorum, nışanlıyız. İşim çok güzel. Batifen İngilizce'de çalışıyorum. Normalde, bir hafta içinde yuzotuz dolar gelmiş. Ankara'da biraz depremler var dı, ama yok bir şey, iyiyim. Çok küçük tü. İnşallah Temmuz'da Amerika'ya gidiyorum. Tekrar, sizi ÇOK özlüyorum. Türkiye güzel, ama Amerika özlüyorum. Peki şimdi ders var ve internet cafe kapalıyor. İyi akşamlar, iyi günler - farketmez. Kolay gelsin. Kendine iyi bak. Sizi seviyorum ama ÇOK seviyorum! Bush salak bir adam.

Peki haydi görüşürüz (alrighty see you!)

 Today is MY CAT IS FAT DAY!    2005-01-28 11:15:48 ET
Ok, so, before I left the States, I was told that I could only bring 5 CDs into the country. So I did -- customs didnt even check! Needless to say, Ive become quite accustomed to Turkish music -- mainstream.

So, here's my list of things that I am BEGGING you to download because Im so obsessed and I feel the need to share.

Obsession #1: PAMELA SPENCE

Pamela Spence is (from what I understand) half Turk, half native English speaker (from where, I dont know). Her first album was GREAT -- 80s dance albumish (which I really loved like SO much). She and her boyfriend did it in their basement with Midi. The guitars are real, but everything else came from Midi -- it was barely re-mastered at all, and I love it SOOO much. Her second album (and newest) is like pop/rock, but very unique. It doesnt sound like commercialized American pop/rock if you know what I mean (nothing against that -- me personally being a musician, I appricate all kinds of music... Im just sick of and bitter at Britney).

Things worth downloading:
- Tuhaf Sey ("Strange Thing" -- the BESTEST most fun song ever, I LOVE the accordian break followed by acoustic guitar. You MUST download this. Its a foot-tapper song.)
- Istanbul (see the lyrics posted "Istanbul seni kaybetmiş..." this is her newest single, and yeah I like it because of the bass drum. Yeah, Im easily pleased, I know. :p)
- Sunada Bak ("Look At This" -- the orgasm "ye beni ye beni/eat me eat me" song. Totally 80s inspired, I love it to death, especially the "ohhhhhmmmmm oh ne dudak!!!!/ohhhhmmmm oh what lips!!!")
- Ölüme Hasret (if you like country -- it reminds me of a country remix a la turka)
- Ayrilamayiz Biz (if you liked Tuhaf Sey)
- Eger Dinlersin ("If You're Listening" if you feel sad about anything, thats my I feel sad song, but its not a SUPER sad song. Just honest :))

Obsession #2: MOR VE ÖTESİ

I dont know much about this band, but I love their song "Cambaz" (Acrobat). It starts with the Turkish balama and then switches to rock, pretty cool song.

Things worth downloading:
- Cambaz (Acrobat)

Obsession #3: ATHENA

Athena is the first Turkish punk/ska band. They're really fun, I like them alot. They just recently won Eurovision for Turkey -- came in 3rd or 4th. Whatever song they sang, they sang it in English. I forget the NO NO I DONT FORGET THE NAME... I THINK its "For Real". Anyways I like them.

Things worth downloading:
- For Real

Yeah, and that's it. WAIT!

Obsession #4: DUMAN

no commentary needed, I just like 'em

Things worth downloading:
- Bu Aksam (Tonight)
- Oje (this one is REALLY cool -- I love the arrangements and stuff!)

Yep, so that's it.

Oh yeah, today was "My Cat is Fat Day", meaning, today with my elementary students we practised rhyming. Since my cat Spanky IS fat, it worked out perfect.

"My cat is fat.
He sat on my yoga mat (some of them didnt know "yoga mat", so I had to use "hat", but originally it was "yoga mat")
I didnt like that.
What a brat."

And, we've been working on tounge twisters "She sells sea shells by the sea shore" and, oh the fun, "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?". Yeah. I say it super fast and then they look at me with eyes so big that I think they're gonna fall out of their little Turkish sockets and roll away.

I'm posting a picture of my big fat cat in the album "My Cat is Fat Day" in tribute to this wonderful fatty-catty day, now coming to an end on my side of the globe.


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