| helping friends heal | 2004-12-06 11:49:55 ET |
Cutting is a serious problem among people these days, its an addiction. i know because i too was once addicted to cutting. im afraid tht if i cut again i may slip back into my old ways. my old ways were that i would dwell on things, not just think about it i would let it consume me completely, and then i would cut. i would obsess and bitch about everything. i didnt care about anything because i hated myself and i hated myself because i thought it was my fault that i was taken from my mom and my sister was taken from me, and i thought i was at fault for being molested by someone i trusted and someone that i had believed to care about me. but these things were not my fault. cutting. that was my fault, drugs were my fault, being a bitch and not caring was my fault. carrying on like i was the only thing that mattered was my fault. being a horrible person, rude, immature, nasty to everyone. that was also my fault. there were alot of things that were my fault but the things that i blamed myself for were the things that were not my fault.. i had blamed everyone else for the tings that were my fault and blamed myself for the things that were not my fault... that was my insanity.. now i figure, if i cant explain logically why its my fault, then its not my fault. this goes for you as well, if you cant explain to others why its your fault, then its not your fault. its that simple.
cutting is not just a habit, its a curse you bring upon yourself, and a curse you must lift off yourself. my advice is to remove temptation. give someone your knives, anything you use to cut yourself with, give it to a friend and ask them to keep it for a while.. i think a month or two is ok. or until you get the correct medicine, and you are a stable minded person and no longer feel the urge to cut... if you keep all the knives and everything then you are more likely to continue cutting.. i proved that right a year or two ago when i came home from the hospital and kept a single blade. i went back in patient the next week. i had cuts all up and down my arms. and all of that just because i went home. it doesnt matter how much you seem normal or how much you act like you dont care, or how ok you seem... you wont be ok until you are ready to live life to the fullest and you actually look forward to waking up and breathing, and you look forward to living... im at that point and i can help you get there too if you ask... i am full of advice and i have a history with many things so im good for it.. i can only hold your hand though, you have to do the rest.
if you read this and you want to or a trying to help a friend who is dealing with cutting, please post here.
and if you are a friend who is dealing with this addiction yourself and wish for some help post here and i hope you get responses. because you matter.
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