Wish you were here
2003-01-05 15:29:47 ET

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground. What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
-Pink Floyd

2003-01-01 23:59:20 ET

yes kids i am up once again because i cant sleep from tummy ache but its not as bad as it is some nights but anyways last night my mom called me around 2 and was like yeah im not coming home and i was like alright and i was pretty messed up so i stayed up will 530 in the morning so i wouldnt yak or anything anywyas and like i would fall asleep and then i would wake up to the tv and for like 3 hours they were showing infomercails on girls gone wild it was fucking strange and then like finally i jsut said fuck it and went to bed i got up this morning around 1130 and yeah i tried to go to sleep like 15min ago but everyway taht i tried to sleep didnt work like i just felt kind of funny and like i dunno my head feels kind of strange too but thats maybe cause i havent gotton that much sleep but i think im gonna go pee and then try and head back to sleep

2002-12-31 23:46:19 ET

this new years was so great i mean i got to hang out with samir and jonathan and laura and chris winn and chris hill and clark and i cant forget wishcracks anyways i ditched going to san fran to stay with chris and it was cool i mean he got relaly messed up so that he could barly move but yeah i got to get kissed like 3min afterthe ball dropped cauese thats when chrsi came out of the bathroon anywaysthis new years was thbe best my mom still not home which is cool i wish that chris could've spent the night but oh well maybe ill ravage him tomarrow anyways to who evers out there and reads this happy fucking new years its 2003 its time to start a new life all over again later oh i almost forgot I LOVE CHRIS!!!!!

cant sleep i have a stomach ache!!
2002-12-28 23:18:26 ET

damn i always have fucking stomach aches uhh this shit sucks well its not really a stomach ache is more of a uncomfortable feeling i dunno how to describe anyways like i dunno if people out there who read this but do you ever get like that feeling in your throat not in your stomach but in your throat that your gonna yak but its just acid reflex uhh i have that shit right now and im drinking hella water so ill burp and it'll go away well thats what usually works for me anyways i did the usual thing today you know what i always do my passion and we went to carls jr and i ate so fucking much maybe thats why my tummy feels funny damn that fast food shit it always fucks with my stomach oh well it'll eventually go away shit at least it doesnt hurt as bad as when i have yak on the box (jack in the box) anyways yeah i get to see my brother in rehab im so happy its gonna be so great to see my brother it sucks cause like i dunno when hes around i hate it but when hes not around i hate it too i dunno i miss him and i miss chris too i need to see that kid pretty fucking soon i should call his ass up tomarrow when i get back hmm hope my tummy ache goes away so i can sleep

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