For P2006-01-09 21:18:35 ET

Bif Naked: Moment of Weakness
I stand in the pouring rain
You couldn't even be there to pick me up
You're taking me for granted, again
You're running outta time, and you're outta luck

Just a moment of weakness
I should examine my head
Just a moment of weakness
I never meant a word I said

I'm sick with the Beiijing flu
And you chose then not to come home.
A week later I caught you
Kissing a girl who was my clone

Just a moment of weakness
I should examine my head
Just a moment of weakness
I never meant a word I said

Oh, why should I stay and pretend?
You make me laugh again
My darling, truth is - we are not even friends
Oh, love comes and it goes.
Where your heart stops - no one knows
How did I wind up in the is mess, here - with you

Just a moment of weakness
I should examine my head
Just a moment of weakness
I never meant a word I said
2 comments

Damn2005-08-04 10:58:07 ET

This week's horoscope:

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Your habit of falling out of trees, attempting to hide behind signposts, and following three feet behind people in broad daylight will force the government to adopt stricter ninja-certification standards.

2 comments

Lyrics2005-06-21 06:25:36 ET

So it took me awhile to find the lyrics to this damn good song. Placing them here for safe keeping.

I Hope You're Unhappy- Farside
I must have had a dream about you
Cause I woke up in the worst of moods
And when I looked at the clock my day was already ruined
I'm glad that you like your new place
And I hope your new job works out well
I'm getting used to my kitchen and sleeping by myself

And as we talk and reminisce
I barely mask how deeply I'm depressed
And though I can't complain
I think I just might
Cause it can't get much worse


And I hope that you're unhappy to be alone


I'm at my suit job everyday
And Farside's writing a new LP
And though I still hate school I've almost got my degree
I keep myself so busy now
Cause I don't want to be at home at all
Cause everytime that I'm there I'm crushed that you haven't called


And then I dwell and reminisce
About the time I bought the angel dress
That you wore for me
And the sun went down
And you swore you were mine


And I hope that you're unhappy to be alone
I don't want you to cry anymore than I cry, just at least as much


I know your children will be beautiful
But I don't ever want to know that they exist at all
So let's not talk and reminisce
Cause it won't clear the cobwebs in my chest
When I clench the phone and I grind my teeth
And I know that I'm alone


I hope, I hope you're miserable
And I hope that you're unhappy to be alone

2005-06-05 01:39:59 ET

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses. I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too fat...
10% of women think their ass is too skinny...
The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway.
3 comments

Chuckle a bit why don't you?2005-05-25 11:33:31 ET

Got this email from my mother-in-law. Laughed at it, decided to post it since less-than-exciting life renders anything readable.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. (Must try this on husband)
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.


Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
-You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
-Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
-Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
-If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
-And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
4 comments

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