New Cizzomic
2004-01-08 08:10:01 ET

Errr.. yeah.

Retail Love

I love Steve Jobs
2004-01-06 08:52:17 ET

And one day, I'm going to marry him. I'm watching the live Keynote Address from MacWorld in SF, and he's just introduced the newest "iLife" suite, which includes a 64-track studio-quality non-linear digital recorder. It includes everything anyone would need to record a band and make a professional-grade mixdown. Sampling, looping, time stretching, it's looks amazing. Along with new versions of iMovie, iPhoto, and a bunch of other easy-to-use stuff, they're including it new with every Mac, or $49 seperately.

FreeBSD... on SPARC?
2003-12-22 22:42:07 ET

That's right, I've got an Sun Ultra 5, one of the first 64-bit desktops (powered by the 64-bit UltraSPARC IIe processor running at 333 MHz). It's not the fastest thing around, hell it's got a 33 MByte/second IDE bus. But it'll be interesting to find out if it really does run faster than Solaris, as everyone seems to claim (but I can find no quantitative proof thus far).

2003-12-20 23:09:32 ET

This year I've been to 6 different foreign countries, and driven in all of them. Luxemberg might not count, as I was only in it for about 10 minutes. The time it took to drive from one end, get gas (there's not EU tax on gas there) and leave out the other end.

Next year I've got a mind to hit Amsterdam and Utrect again (no, I don't smoke pot), as well as go to some tropical island. Also, a return trip to Canada would be fun. Perhaps Toronto.

With all the money I've spent on travel this year, I could have purchased a nice big screen TV. I'd rather have the travel. The travel I'll always remember. The big screen TV won't make much of a dent on the experience of my life.

2003-12-16 21:19:56 ET

So I went to that land up north, Canadia I believe it's called. It was an odd and wounderous trip.

I took my rental car and traveling compaignion and left Seattle, heading for the border. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I knew there'd be some suprises.

The first surprise happened when we hit the Canadian border itself. I was expecting a friendly guard, welcoming us in that Candadian-friendly way. I was wrong. The guy was a prick. He asked me rapid-fire questions perhaps trying to rattle me, which just seemed very un-Canadian. He asked me where I worked, as if I was going to screw up and say "Fake Corp.", and the jig would be up. He asked me what I was doing in Canada. I said I was going to fuck as many Canadian women as I could. After the body cavity search, we headed for Vancouver.

We stayed in a 5-star hotel, which among other luxuries, included "pokey" in the honour bar (note the Canadian spelling -- I'm fast to adapt). I live the Sexy Unix Lifestyle.

Another Canadian moment was when I was explaining how far this strip club was. I gave him the distance in FUCKIN KILOMETERS (Booyeah), of which I had converted in my head. Years of running 5 and 10 kilometer races paid off. I felt like I was in Star Trek. Captain, Romulan Warbird 10,000 kilometers off the port bow!

The metric system is cool and all, but you just can't be bad-assed using it. You're cool drinking a foity of beer, not a litah of beer. You're not going to pay respect to anyone of your dead hommies by pouring out a litah for him or her.

Now I have to tell you about this power I have. It's called "Canadar". It's similar to Gaydar, the ability to spot a gay person when it isn't readily obvious to most people, but with Canadar I can spot Canadians.

I was talking to a new coworker, and 2 minutes into the conversation I said "you're a Canadian!" She was taken aback, not having told me. Really, it's a gift. I can just tell.

So imagine how often it went off in Canada. Damn thing nearly shorted out. Every time I heard "abewt" it went off.

Also, I'm pretty sure Canada exists about 10 years in the future, and they've kept it a secret so as to keep the US from invading them like so much oil-rich land. As soon as you cross the border, you hit a time warp, moving back and forth 10 years. Mental note: If Canada disappears, we've got 10 years left.

We went into a store aptly named "Future Store", and I swear I saw them hurridly replacing their modern electronics with electronics from 10 years past. I bet there were a few 10 Petabyte hard drives, and perhaps a few SHDTVs (Super-High-Definition TV).

The dead-giveaway though was the beautiful futuristic apartment buildings. They looked like they were just a few years away from having the buildings in the fucking Jetsons. Perusing housing prices made me even more mad; the prices for two bedroom condos was piddly! A one-bedroom with a den was around $120,000 CD, in downtown!

We went to a few clubs, had Canadian girl drinks (which seamed a lot weaker), and generally had a great time. We accidentally ended up in a bad neighborhood and found ourselves surrounded by junkies at 2 AM. We didn't feel the least bit threatened. One even gave us directions to the strip club we were looking for. It was closed though.

I'll never get to see a fucking strip club.

Anyway, coming back I prepared for another cavity search as I faced the legendary asshole American border patrol. Actually he was quite nice. He asked me if I brought any food back, and I mentioned the dark chocolate bar I got.

"I said food!" he smiled, and I thought I was going to get a motherly lecture on nutrition. He waved us on, and we headed back into non-metric country.

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