2003-12-19 20:41:41 ET

Just got back from the store. I hate shopping, even for clothes. yes, yes, I seriously do.
Then I went by work, waited for an hour and a half to hear that I need to call my other boss in the morning.
I was so pissed.
But I am not now, because truly, who gives.
I'll just find another job.
over and out.

At Last2003-12-19 12:56:51 ET

Today has been alright, I didn't have to work last night, and I have no hours till thursday. So, I am going to look for another job. So I can get all of this financial stuff taken care of. And then, I can be with my love. :) Which I am pretty psyched about. I miss him.
Now, I am listening to At Last, by Etta James. Great tune :)
And I am going to relax now, now that my feeling like crap from drinking too much last night is over.
Its candles, a good book, and a bubble bath for me.
Later, I am going to paint.
And try to find my journal that I seem to have lost in this one bedroom apt. Something tells me its in the car.
Hopefully it gets fixed soon.
-crosses fingers-
I am in an extremely good mood right now, and I don't feel stressed out or angry for the first time since I came back from Atlanta from seeing him.
And I hope you are all doing alright as well.
Take care :)
Zoe Rants

2003-12-18 08:04:50 ET

How remarkable it is to know that I have willpower.
Otherwise, I am sure i'd be hauled to every claustrophobics dream.
And i'd not have a job anymore.
For some reason people don't take it seriously when i warn them before hand, but oh well right?
Fair warning.
I've cooled off alot, but I am still, not going in tonight.
Fuck it.
I'd love to hear otherwise.

Gravity, darling, is a conspiracy.2003-12-17 03:35:22 ET

There are those, who conform, those who have to, those who willingly do it.
Everyday, we go to jobs we claim to hate, to jobs where there is always someone above us pointing a finger, or whispering things we should be hearing.
There is always some part of ourselves we have to lose, to keep a certain job.
We spend thousands of pieces of paper on classes that don't guarantee our way into a bright future.
We look in mirrors and scowl at what we see.
We depend on chemicals to get by.
And then, if we are lucky, we find someone who accepts us,
and we call it love.
We look to brain damage as a symbol that perhaps we are someone.
We over populate, and then decide to live longer.
We are so obsessed with the idea of having something to be proud of that clones are produced, and we get closer to robots with minds.
We become patriotic when tragedy occurs,
and we cheer when people who don't directly affect us are caught.
We believe our way is right, and everyone else is wrong.
We are so self concious that we think of ourselves before helping someone else who might need something we have an over abundance of.
And we take pride in who we are.
Because we believe no one else will.
And what we believe is not evolution.
We believe in falsity.
Because, we think it fills our lives with hope.
But, what if hope is like dreams.
And what if those dreams never happen.
We give up.

I can't understand why.
Petty problems aren't our concern.
Because no matter what we still have that self consideration, and above all,
its the only thing that matters.

Hocka Locka2003-12-16 08:00:00 ET

Pfft. So I didn't have to work last night.
So I slept for like 17 hours. No, really, I could lay back down and sleep some more right now.
And the annoying thing about being on this gd computer right now is all of the f-ing pop-ups that are occuring.
It's driving me insane!

But...aside all that I work tonight.
Have a sore throat, need some coffee,
someone to be sarcastic to.
Because it's all bottling up in my head.
And I really don't want to start talking to myself.

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