can't move face2003-10-23 16:29:23 ET

facial mask, shower, black coffee and 1 hour before 8 of being on feet. I love it.
V played Huey Lewis and the News earlier, and I couldn't tell if it put me in some American Psycho mood or some weird feeling 80's one. I have compiled half of what I listen to into a list, so I will put half here, because frankly, I don't want to sit here for the rest of my life. enjoy. -Zster

robert johnson, at the drive-in, Creedence Clearwater revival, the doors, louis armstrong, kenna, sigur ros, misfits, type o negative, le tigre, duke ellington, etta james, billie holiday, portishead, vnv nation, project pitchfork, janis joplin, the smiths, devo, count basie, skip james, funker vogt, wumscut, dandy warhols, fiona apple, the cure, the dead kennedys, siouxsie and the banshees, bjork, pj harvey, tori amos, the sugarcubes, mudhoney, miles davis, howlin wolf, mindless self indulgence, FC Kahuna, apoptygma berzerk, pigface, 16 volt, acid bath, aphex twin, rancid, deftones, s.o.a.d., radiohead, depeche mode, the clash, ben folds (five), placebo, the pixies, the faint, gin blossoms, hooverphonic, tricky, icon of coil, coil, god speed you black emperor, bright eyes, rasputina, magenta, minus, kent, foghat, led zeppelin, ministry, siouxsie and the banshees, tumor, morcheeba, tool, depeche mode, malice mizer, cypress hill, dr. dre, snoop, the birthday massacre, frank sanatra, converter, atari teenage riot, candlebox, the postal service, jimi hendrix, orbital, the toadies, nine inch nails, alice in chains, soundgarden, goatwhore, soilent green, psychadelic furs, simon and garfunkle, rolling stones, cocteau twins, juno reactor, snot, deathboy, 36 crazyfists, red house painters, skunk anansie, coldplay, the afghan whigs, underworld, gorillaz, velvet acid christ, Holst, Tracy Bonham, massive attack, lamb, charles mingus, Death In Vegas, B-52's, Cracker, Cranberries, RATM, Spacehog, Mazzy Star, Sublime, Suzanne Vega, Chemical Brothers, Agents of Oblivion, Deadboy, Black Flag, Black Sabbath, assemblage 23, covenant, david bowie, front line assembly, the beta band, sparta, moby, smashing pumpkins, nirvana, STP, this mortal coil, mlwttkk, merle haggard, hank williams

damn these things.2003-10-23 13:32:49 ET

Spell your first name backwards: Eoz hey i kind of like that.
The story behind your SK Name: it was originally and still is the name of the 'band' me and my friend produced, (which is stagnant atm) just one of those words that came out of my head one day.
Are you a lesbian: i dig chicks yes, though there has to be that extra something there
Where do you live: hell. i mean texas
Wallet: black leather
Hairbrush: looks like a clip of abstract art
Toothbrush: crest spinbrush pro, righteo
Jewelry worn daily: watch, piercings and a silver wedding band i wear on my right hand
Blanket: black and maroon queen size comforter
Coffee cup: dark blue and has my name on it
Sunglasses: black rectangle plastic frames
Underwear: black, chick boxer briefs
Shoes: either my 70's running shoes (red) or any pair of the 8 pairs of boots i have
Handbag: army type cloth in army green bookbag though it is far from army
CD in stereo right now: The dandy warhols come down
Piercings: libret, nose, ears.
What you are wearing now: my faded, and worn 2 year old jeans with a tank, just woke up.
Hair: red, black, and burgundy, the just woke up look
Makeup: None.

Who or what (was/is/are)
In my head: singing along in my head
Wishing: i had a closer family
After this: i'll smoke, get something to drink and clean up the horrible mess called a desk
Talking to: No one, aside v, he just got here
Eating: a bosc pear
If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason: no one at the moment
Is next to you: knife, skeleton of the pear, water bottle, facial mask, nail polish remover, Mister Bation, cds and im going to stop there
The last thing you ate: bosc pear
Something that you are deathly afraid of: dying in a car
do you like candles: love them
Do you like hugs: depends on what kind of day it is
Do you like the taste of blood: yes, though most of the time it comes in the form of rare steaks
Do you believe in love: i don't know
Do you believe in soulmates: i suppose so
Do you believe in love at first sight: in a general matter of speaking
Do you believe in heaven: thats a big problem issue
Do you believe in forgiveness: sorry seems like an excuse to me
What do you want done with your body when you die: well i'm not big on cremation and we are in the process of a family tomb. but who knows when i will die
Who is your worst enemy: Stereotypes and falsities
If you could have any animal for a pet what would it be? my baby zeus. he's a cat, but he is in odessa
the latest you've ever stayed up? 1 and a half weeks
Ever been to belgium: Nope.
Can you eat with chopsticks: yes

What's your favorite coin: quarter, but thats because i like the sound when it hits cement
What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to: seattle, New York City, New Orleans, pensacola, portland
What are some of your favorite pig out foods: kubsa sauce, pico de gallo (only when my sis and i make it) and my sister's chicken pasta
What's something you wish you could understand better: what the hell is up with the music industry
Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time: My friend mia. she passed last month

yowsa2003-10-22 09:02:11 ET

Work, is a beautiful thing, and money though just paper, is an evil and necessary thing.

So, today was the last day of working in the morning.
Thank the crazies. If I had to wake up another morning and work at 8 I swear.
Obviously i'm not a morning person.

Went over to Tina's yesterday, got my libret barbell considering I left it over on Saturday after a bit too much alcohol. First time in a while that I have prayed to the porcelain gods. Hopefully the last. But anywho, Justyne cooked dinner which I have to say was fab. ;) And then we did girlie beauty things. I will not say because she asked me not to tell someone. I have to say she looks hot!
My hair will cost me close to 80.
And I am psyched. I love transformation.
I have been asked to list bands that I listen to.
This is going to take hours....

But, until the next....

Au revoir et pour le moment et bonne nuit.


2003-10-20 07:43:15 ET

Righteo. Apologies for the whiney posts.
I have finally realized that yes I am too nice and too generous. So I won't try to save any of those 'friendships'. On another note, my zine's draft is due the 29th, and the only thing i've wrote I don't think a few people will be too pleased with. As my sister told me, it's offensive, but, this is mine, and what I write goes in. So, since no one from here will probably ever read my zine. I give you my first entry. And at some point, if it offends you, back away, because i'm sure all of it will.

"And the time approaches for some kind of clever innuendo, or some kind of substance in Odessa, Tx.
My name is ZoŽ Rants, Odessa is my hometown though I don't live there. So, this edition of my mind comes to you from Killeen, Tx. Enjoy.
I've been thinking of this zine for quite some time now, it's only that my sister and her boyfriend made the deadline for first entries. Though some things I might say could be considered as controversial, meaning someone is bound to take offense, the whole agenda of zines is to get to our point. We know that this could either touch or repel you, and this, for a little bit of culture, is what we are prepared to do. So, without further ado, here is my part to the new worded thought.
Lately i've been both intrigued and repelled by the people that occupy Fort Hood on a daily basis. Though I live with and mostly converse with the army band, there is still quite a bit of drama that ties into it. Perhaps this is with everyone, because I have noticed that all produce a little in some form or another. But being here, has made me appreciate the fact that I am from the slight hell called Odessa, and not this small, army ridden, un-cultured place. My apologies for all from Killeen that take offense.
Not this many times since I have been in a place for the past 6 months has the subject of religion come up. Every day my ye of little faith self has to hear in some form or another a kind of preaching. Don't get me wrong, I have feelings, I believe in reincarnation, that everything happens for a reason, and the fact that someone or something has to be looking out for me. I am also aware that all previous could be subconscious too. But come on people, is it necessary for me to continuously repeat myself on why I am the way I am? I hear people saying, I love my god, over and over it seems, then afterward trying to prove to me that they aren't preaching. Well, (and please excuse my language, but this is a subject I feel strongly about) what the fuck do you think you are doing if not preaching. Let a person be who they are and stop trying to push something I don't and will probably never inhabit.
While i'm on touchy subjects let me get onto the political train now. For the previous few months I have gained knowledge into the ways of third-world countries, heard thoughts on the President, and heard media about the government, as well as feelings on deployment. And to sum this all in one long sentence if I may. I am not sure I agree with how the president dealt with the whole Iraq thing, but as long as i'm here, i'll say that the democratics have gotten more liberal, and if Gore was our 'leader' from what I gather I am sure we would be something almost resembling the iraqi or afghani way of life. And i'm sorry if someone from one of these places reads this, but give the chick thing a rest, it almost makes me want to get into feminism. Chicks are definitely more attractive, and the stronger willed sex. The government, well I think a certain bumper sticker in Azure Green sums that up. And deployment, I can't tell you how depressing it is to hear someone say they are scared at the fact that they might not come back. But, when that day comes my heart is with you, because you definitely have more courage than I.
On a lighter note before I turn anyone else away from my propaganda, work starts. Finally the graveyard shift. So I can occupy my time with tables, and drunkards on the weekends. Also I have become aware of some new music, wonderful.
On my soundtrack at the moment. - Radiohead - The Bends with the background of Jamie's Kitchen on Food Network. very riveting. "

Early morning commentary2003-10-18 17:54:00 ET

I used to think there was something interesting in the fact that I thought I knew you. Yet then again people have the right to be wrong.
It's a year now, and I can't say i've dramatically changed or done something good for myself, because my life revolves around the same thing it has for 5 years now.
I remember when you said it was a dumb idea, but just like my old-now drug addict high school friends, or her, I don't seem to want to listen.
Now i'm in Texas, the one place where the first 16 years of my life were based on past tragedy.
But, it seems now days that no one really changes for the better, and at least I know you haven't.
Still the same old child you were back then.
I'd like to dwell on the fact that i'm not, because I know i've matured past my actual age in that sense. But then again I had to.
I started to think that this time, maybe I could start off fresh, considering I had never even been through here before.
But I don't think i've accomplished much. And now I feel like you expect something from me, but, then again it seems like that from everyone.
I suppose it just got easy pinning my problems to one place then leaving to find something new, even interesting. All i've gotten is more bullshit to dwell on when I have past four drinks.
Hopefully there is something stable somewhere within grasp. Or maybe i'll become a working drone to pass the time.
I keep hearing the same question over and over.
And all I say is, who the hell knows whats in the future.

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