the mean reds2010-09-23 20:29:55 ET

Ugh. bad night. matt and i were both pissy and to him that means being reserved and quiet. To me that means being clingy to him cause he makes me feel better.

so neither of us were getting what we needed tonight. and i it bugged me that when i poured out exactly what was wrong and bothering me, all i got was "ok". i know he has alot on his mind but one word answers after telling him what's wrong kinda makes me feel like he's blowing me off.

i just feel like maybe he's not as excited about talking to me like he used to be.

idk it might be just a weird night that will blow over.

i've been super stressed out with school lately. it's like when i finish one project someone is waiting in line to give me another one or tell me to fix something on the old one.

tomorrow should be good. i'm going to see a band and have some beer and shopping.

i hope this isn't the start of a stupid fight and a stupid break up. bleh.


2010-09-22 05:11:01 ET

more and more everyday i realize there is no "right" way to live.

fucking really?2010-09-19 05:18:00 ET

So i had to work last night til about 11 and i was supposed to meet up with friends at a bar for a friend's birthday. I asked if they would be there late cause I didn't wanna drive all the way to the bar (about 45 min) from work and have them not be there. The bday boy was like "oh no we'll be there pretty late."

so i head over there after work (i couldn't call cause the pub in underground and NOBODY gets service there). Well it's pouring rain. like can't see 2 ft in front of you rain.

i finally get there at 1130 and they're not there. i call them and they say they're heading home cause the waitress was annoying the bday boy cause she was "ignoring" him..

FUCKING NEWS FLASH! IT'S A BAR WAITRESS! THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DOTE ON YOUR EVERY WHIM! Plus the bar is REALLY small so it's not like walking to the bar is a big deal.

So I call them and I'm like "srsly? thx for the fucking fb message or txt message" and they're like "we tried to call you! we didn't get service! " well maybe you go outside and fucking call me? No? ok.

It just pisses me off especially cause we as a group always make these great plans then someone gets whiny and worked up about something stupid and the plans fall through and then someone doesn't get informed.

So i drove about an hour back home. what a fun night. hope SK had a better saturday than me.

2010-09-18 06:58:51 ET

so there's a girl at school i hang out with. love her dearly. but we always make awesome plans with her and she cancels at the last minute.

like tonight is our friends birthday and we planned to go to this bar. well she wants to go at 5 to do some tour they have but that means by the time i get there at 10 (cause i have to work) they'll be ready to leave. and i'm not driving 40 minutes out of my way for 10 minutes of bar time. sorry.

idk i just hate when everyone has plans and there's that one person who's like "yay!" then when it comes down to it they're like "well staying out til 10 is too late. i have a paper to write. so we all need to be home at 6"

maybe it's cause she's an only child and her parents dote on her? idk....

that was my rant for the day

career!2010-09-17 16:14:05 ET

So i decided i might to go grad school to get my masters in art therapy.

i know it's gonna cost more money and i'll be in school longer but i think if i invest in myself i'll be happier than if i just settled for something that made me kinda happy instead of really happy.

It's scary and expensive and big, but i really think it's what i want to do.

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