Memorial Day
2003-05-26 12:12:29 ET

Let me take the time to give thanks for the good fortune that has been bestowed upon me:

-Thank you for helping me escape the ghetto of the high desert. If I had stayed there until now, there's no doubt that I would have hurt myself in a fatal mannor. Living is a continual effort, and I have strength and faith.

-Thank you for giving me the awareness of music. Thank you for giving me the ability and capability of creating and embracing the beautiful vibration of sound. Thank you for my hearing.

-Thank you for my vision. It is such a beautiful world and such a magnificent universe. While sight may sometimes elude to confusion, sight also leads to illumination and realization, and this is vision.

-Thank you for love. Thank you for giving me the oppourtunity to expand, comprehend, and try to forever understand this increadible force. Thank you for letting me know that this is the ultimate truth for all of us, that this is what unites everything.

In the name of life, I say 'thank you.'

2003-05-20 06:44:10 ET

LAST DAY OF FINALS. I hope I don't have a nervous breakdown.

I love getting up, drinking coffee, and typing like a tweeker. It's nice. I appreciate.

Yo, this is all a very obvious point, but a lot of people look like they be makin' love to their webcams and digicams and what-have-ya. It's kinda mushy in here, know what I mean? I think everyone should have a mandatory unflattering mug shot that had to be posted on their personal site. Like a picture taken under flourecent lights. Then any other pretty pictures would be like, "this is me when I'm pretty. This is me when I'm under flourescent lights," instead of the constant impression of "this is me ALL THE TIME, 24/7...I am beautiful and I know it. Don't you wanna make love to me? Can't Touch This!"

With all this adornment and manipulation, you don't know what anyone looks like. I know a camera has a hard time telling the truth..."don't make me bite your face - 'cause it ain't like I like the taste"

I'm so out of here. I'm gonna get some Taco Bell. Junk food is theraputic, in a disgusting American way.

My weak-end
2003-05-19 09:38:01 ET

Saturday was truly challenging for me. I was very frustrated. One of those days where everything is giving you wet willy's, know what I mean? Like there's a constant fly in your face that will not stop bothering you.

Like, for instance, missed the bus, like, 4 times. The bank killed me with EVEN MORE charges. Work was totally stressed fact, I ended up stressing my main boss out 'cause I wound up assembling, like, 4 different projects for 4 indecisive customers who kept changing their minds about what style of mats they wanted or bla-bla-blahhhhh...just a whole bunch of funky shit. I didn't want to be alive. I felt like crying, and I had it in my head that after work, I was gonna find a place behind a building somewhere and have a good crying session. Instead, I just swallowed everything and trodded home, weary as ever. But then I went to a party.

AND IT WAS SUPER-FUCKING-FABULOUS!!! Oh my god, it was such a good party. Everyone was so fucking cool! It was at this hosue in La Habra, a great house with a huge backyard (and a quarter-pipe ramp), awesome interior design (including hardwood floors), and an awesome detatched garage. BUT ENOUGH OF THAT ASPECT...

THE goodness. Everyone I talked to was nice, intelligent, funny. Just a bunch of beautiful kids. The music was perfect too! And it was loud and outside and the weather was kickin' ass! My spirits have been raised!

The only problem is that I didn't get anyones number, save for this one awesome filipina girl who knows about desert house parties, which sound rather tasty to me. I was talking to this one girl named AURA all night...she was really cool and really intelligent and had this awesome assertive personality. Or this other girl named Raina who was rocking Teal...TEAL! You know how much style it takes to rock Teal? That girl was great and gave what may be one of the best hugs I've ever, really forceful but not at all uncomfortable. I could go on about different people, but what's the point? Point is that I had a great time and know more people.

So, I'm better now. Kind of. Still got finals, but I'll be okay.


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