another day..another waste of time..2002-08-15 14:25:05 ET

I will be adding some new pix soon. Pictures of me and AJ, and the prom picture and some random shit. I will aslo have a new avatar soon. Until SiS gets done making me a beautiful creation of me from her SiSart. hehe. I miss AJ alot. I get to see him tomorrow though. And I get to see Krystal!!!! I fuckin <3 Krystal. People say we should be twins, we are exactly alike. We even have the esp shit going on too.
Me and Nina hung out all day yesterday. We are hanging out today, then her and I are going to Hyndman tomorrow. :D Can't wait to see Krystal and AJ!!

On a less happier note. I'm going to stare myself or something. Cause from friday to sunday I gained 10 lbs. I am very very very unhappy with my wieght. I don't like it. So I'm going to stare myself til I get to the wieght I want, then exercise everyday to keep it that way...I exercise..but not how I'm going to. So yeah..being the wieght I am for 17, I dont find it makes me feel horrible.

T H E S H O T ..... ........ dun dundun2002-08-14 05:18:28 ET

I've been up since 6:30am. Not fun. I am cranky. I had to get my Depo-Provera shot today.

Conversastion with nurse:
Jane: Now you are gunna feel alittle pinch..
NiCole: What kind of a pinch?
Jane: Just a pinch lik...
NiCole: Like getting your blood taken?
Jane: No, its a different kind..
NiCole: Like different how?
Jane: It'll feel like a beesting
NiCole: Oh..huh..neat..
Jane: Ok roll up your sleeve
( puts swabs over area )
Jane: Ok so you might feel alittle pressure
NiCole: Ok...can you hurry up, my mom is waiting,she has to go to work...tell me when you are getting ready..
Jane: NiCole, its already over..
NiCole: huh...I didn't even feel it..huh..

That tells you that I fuckin hate needles. I fuckin hate them man! Now I have this wierd, funny, odd type of hurting in my arm that is confusing an making me giggle. I'm sleepy. I might go lay down in a little bit.

Boredom Strikes...dun dund dun

What kind of Drug Addict are you?


missing..2002-08-13 19:48:45 ET

God dammit! why must I keep talking to AJ online? It makes me miss him more. Like when out of nowhere he kisses me and tells me I'm beautiful. And how I have pretty eyes. and How he tells me he wants to cut off my face a put it on his wall. ok..well maybe thats alittle scary, but its sweet and I miss it. I miss his kisses good nite..and kisses goodmorning. I miss watching cartoons with him all day. I miss him kissing my hand for no reason. I miss how he'd pull me aside and grope me ( ok you know youd like it). I just miss him. Everything. The little arguements, making me poptarts in the morning. Suckin a fag under the stars. Sitting under the stars. I miss laying in his arm after having sex. I MISS HIM. And every time we talk on the phone or the internet , I miss him more. Because I can't see him. I can't just walk to his house. I can't do all of that when hes up there and I'm down here. Long distance relationships suck. But I love him more than I could ever love anyone, andthis is just something we have to deal with, I guess, until we graduate. then we have the apartment..and the marriage....

feel free to comment on that...

i have to go to bed now..have to get up at 7am. going to bed..going to dream about AJ...

i want my aj..2002-08-13 13:02:49 ET

oh god I'm bored. My mom brought home some pizza...but I have no appetite. I'm sick. not really, just can't eat. I don't wanna be home. I wanna be at AJs. Or atleast go see him for alittle bit :(. I miss him. I cry when I get off the phone with him, cause I don't like haveing to leave him. I want to go to AJs..I want to go to AJs ... I want to go to AJs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man. This sux. I have NOTHING TO DO! ........ I want my AJ!!!!

Huston! We have a problem..2002-08-13 09:09:26 ET

Hmmm.....huston, we have a problem......
I think there is something wrong me with..dunno, you tell me......

Schizotypal:Very High
Borderline:Very High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:Very High

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