|we finallly got the balls...||2005-04-11 10:23:17 ET|
and said EVERYTHING we have been wanting to say to one another this whole time and it was funny cuz we were both shocked at things one another said, i told him i fell in love with him the first time i ever saw him and he was liuke " WHAT REALLY??" hehehe.
anyways i dont want to elaborate on any of it yet and jinx it.
a huge part that has been clouding me ever since then is that he doesnt rember any of it, we were both fucking hammed.
he told me that its always been me and that he wants to be with me but that he's with this other girl, then he said that i was first before her tho, i said EXACTLY i was FIRST.
anyways i dont want to thinkabout it until i talk to him again, he told me he is moving to town, but i am scared to get into anything, specially with me moving in 6 months, i know for a fact that if it happens it will be strong and deep, and i dont know if i can walk away from that.
i am so confused and fucked up, but i mean if even still after all this time we are both interested, thats got to stand for something.
gah *pulls hair*
i dont know what to do.
i told him that he needs to follow his heart, and that he holds all the cards, and to let me know, but that i need to know becuz its kiling me, i cant do it anymore, its breaking me. and if he chooses the other path that i cant even be friends with him, i mean how can i, i neeed to get over him, and i know thats going to be one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. i have neevr felt any of this for ANYONE ever. and we dont even really know each other. fucked up.