In memory of all the toys I took apart.    2004-05-09 14:45:29 ET
In frustration my roomate hands me some pink and yellow plastic toy in peices. "Here put this back together"

her daughter stood looking up anxiously at me as I stared at the peices of a toy I had no idea what it had previously looked like.
"Did you take this apart?" I asked her.
"No, yeah, well not on purpose."
"What was it?" I was still staring at the five peices not sure how they made a whole.
"it's for my doll." She explained.. Great no help. I sat down and after a few minutes of trial and error, the form of the toy was making itself apparent and in no time the peices became a little round box that opened into a miniture ballroom.
"Don't take it apart again." I admonish her.
"I didn't do it on purpose, but it's a new toy."

My roommate shakes her head as I laugh at at the little girl's confession. My roommate explains that just because it's new doesn't mean it has to be taken apart. She then repeats something she has said many times before.... "Are you sure she's not yours?"

 while I was driving in my car    2004-05-09 13:47:55 ET
So I had a dream last night....

I was exiting off the freeway trying to make it home. My trouble was that three of my four tires were flat, My gas gage was reading empty, and the oil light blinked on. In my dream I was pleading "I got to just make it home. If I can get home everything will be ok."

I don't even have to second guess what this dream ment:
I have one more final left in this disater of a semester. If I can get this priject finished and make it through tuesday everything will be ok.

 As told to me by a pair of shoes    2004-05-08 07:31:36 ET
My first pair of docs was at age 16. I just turned 26, Doc Martens are still the only shoes I wear. I decided maybe it was time to buy a different pair of shoes. For my Birthday my mom came down to take me shopping. I learned something about myself during this adventure. I am not good with change. Buying shoes that were not docs was really hard. I was kinda disapointed in learning this about myself. But I guess what was importiant is that I bought the shoes.
In thinking about my unfriendliness toward change I think that is were my fear of commitment comes from. It's fear of embrasing something that will change things forever.
I have decided to not be so change phobic. yesterday I bought some new shoes, tomarrow... I don't know. It's a silly rant.

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