Am I cursed?    2004-05-31 08:37:43 ET
In the last week:

..I locked my keys and my phone in my car at a gas station at one am.
..The battery in my car died Two days later and I was stuck on the side of the road until four thirty in the morning. I missed most of work the next day because I had to replace the battery and one of the terminals. Then I misplaceed my keys and spent a half hour looking for them.
..I have put my self back on my hypoglycemic diet and have been really good about only eating what I can, and when I suppose to. I still "crashed" twice.
.. The dimmer rack for the show I was working on caught on fire last night making it necessary for me to go into the theatre today to fix things. Instead of going to the rennisance faire I had been looking forward to all month. Seeing as this was my only day off since may 14th and I won't get another day off until I leave for my trip to tahoe on June.

my current mood is homicidal... I need Ice cream.


 waving goodbye    2004-05-23 16:13:18 ET
In odd turn of events I got two phone calls this week that put closure to situations I had tried to end months ago.

1. From the person I had been dating before David. He called me to give me his new cell phone number and to tell me he has started seeing someone. We talked for about forty five minutes, sharing our fears about the relationships were are in and telling each other it was all going to work out. He and I met in high school and he had become one of my good friends before we started dating. That phone call made me feel like I got my friend back.

2. From another friend who confessed to me he didn’t want to just be friends. He was very angry when I started seeing David. He called to tell me about the new girl he’s met and how happy he is. At the end of the conversation he said “everything worked out good for both of us, huh?” Now that I know he’ll start talking to me again, I know I won’t see him because he’ll be so wrapped up in his Kelly (Ironically she has the same name as me).

Both of these people hurt me a lot with their selfishness. In both situations I had to choose between my emotional health or their wishes. I chose me. Not something easy for me to do. Now months later they have found happiness in someone else and both have called to apologize to me.
I feel so free. *sigh*
1 comment

     2004-05-19 22:32:43 ET
Paint fumes suck. I am sure this goes without saying. I felt almost like I had a total relapse when I finally left work. I was tired and achey, and very sick to my stomache.
Upon entering my house I was greeted not by the man fixing my back door (Whom I expected when I heard noise in the kitchen) But by my David who was in the process of making me dinner. This one ceases to amaze me. I admit that I am somewhat scarred by the past morons I have allowed to mangle my life with their bagagge making me feel as if I were the inadequate one when I failed.
It's been three months scince our first date and I keep thinking I will wake up to find him some beautiful dream I cannot have. Yet I open my eyes to find some new trinket he's made me out of wire or newspaper.
I had places to be and things to do all jumbled in my head mixed with the paint fumes and leftover illness. All of that melts away the moment I see his mischevious grin.


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