happy moments    2004-01-26 18:36:09 ET
I was sitting in the coffee shop that is my church’s foyer. In the midst of a discussion about the word “Religion” I noticed a familiar song. Tucked into the random Christian mix of background music that shifts from melodic hardcore to rap, was a happy little song by the Violent Femmes. I like my church.


 My anger and my stupidity    2004-01-24 22:05:13 ET
* The company I work for is stupid. Last week I spent every out of school moment in the warehouse trying to get this set of props done for a huge client. Everyone I work with focused 12 hour days on this event. We still almost did not finish in time. Why? Well you see, we were given the assignment a week and a half late and halfway through production they scrapped the original idea and we had to start again from scratch. We were given no money to buy new materials. So at the end of it all, faced with the reality we may not finish in time, my boss was upset over the fact that our shop would be blamed for the failure. We finished the set. But I am still pissed that the corporate assholes that run my workplace were too busy vacationing in Las Vegas to send us the approval for a large event and then they have the brainless audacity to blame the near failure on us.

* Last night I proved once again that I am a stupid girl.
I met this guy at this church I visited a couple of times when I first moved to San Diego. He was a little too friendly and I avoided him. Out of the blue he called me yesterday. Wanted to know how my roommate and I were. Wanted to see what I was up to that night, etc… He wouldn’t get off the phone and I found myself inviting him over to watch a movie. I didn’t know what else to do. He was not taking any of the “I just want to be left alone” hints and sometimes I am too much of a wuss to yell “get the hell away from me”. I kicked myself thoroughly upon hanging up. My friend Brian called moments later and confirmed that I had indeed done a stupid thing and he would be at my house in fifteen minutes. Brian arrived shortly after the unwanted guy. Brian never removed his jacket but sat on the couch between us until my roommate got home and then he left.
Brian is the same friend I rejected and yet he doesn’t let me wallow in my stupidity.
It has made me wonder today why I can’t seem to care for him the way he cares for me. Is this yet more proof of my stupidity? I don’t know, anyway Brian saved the day.

 Alot to do    2004-01-18 12:59:35 ET
My schedule for the next four months looks like this:
Monday: Dance 9-11 AM, Work 1130 to 7
Tuesday: School 9 am – 4pm
Wednesday: Dance 9-11 AM, Work 1130 to 7
Thursday: School 9 am – 4pm
Friday: Work 730 am – 4pm (or six depending on a deadline)
Saturday: Work starting at some point in the morning and lasting at least 8 hours.
Sunday: Church
This time schedule is just set times of where I have to be somewhere. This does not include study time. I am going to be so busy.. I wish I could cut down on something but there is nothing to cut out.

And a quote to ponder :

"If you come from the culture that created and perpetuated 'C.H.I.P.S.,' then a certain amount of distance from that culture should be maintained. Keep to the fringes; it's safer, and it's better for your self image." --Ben Edlund

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