2005-04-01 02:39:14 ET

 HIPPITY HOP    2005-03-27 10:32:37 ET

We dont have Easter bunnies here, only old women that give you candy.

Anybody know the group Pink Martini??

 Her zaman aşkın seni kaybetmiş ( Your passion will quit you every time)    2005-03-22 08:44:22 ET
I got my Turkish Residence Permit picture taken today. I look like a very scary mix between a frog and Miss Piggy -- possibly the lovechild of Kermit and Miss Piggy herself...

I wrote a whole thing for my TOEFL program and THEN, I forgot to save it and shut off the computer, took out the disk, and went home. Ne kadar zeki ya.

Then, I was browsing around on the web -- found a link from somebody's journal leading to live journal thus leading me to look at the journals of my old bandmates. One is still mean, one is still fragile, one is still wierd (and as much as herself as ever). So what??....

So, they all still make music. But guess who hasnt in a long time? Yeah, me. Why? Because all of my songs seem so immature... Ive grown up SO much since writing them at 16. That doesnt mean they're bad... they're just... old. And I need something new, but nothing comes to me. AFter writing 12 floppies of MS Word documents songs with tablitures, you run out of chord patterns and melodies. I used to play in Pittsburgh all the time -- I had a FOLLOWING until I jetted off to Turkey. I could sing AND play AND write....

Muzik kaybettim -- Ive lost music.

Hasiktir. Fuck.

Şimdi napacam? Now what am I gonna do?

Yazacam Türkçede? Olmaz. Asla. Write in Turkish? Impossible. Never.

Neden? Why -- BECAUSE YOU CANT RHYME ANYTHING GOOD IN TURKISH. Olmaz, gerçekten (impossible, seriously).

O zaman... so... beyinim İngilizce ala Türka. My brains is English a la Turk. YETER!!!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!!


French. Fucking French. Poorly spelled French. HASIKTIR. Erm FUCK erm ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

     2005-03-18 03:36:29 ET
Allah'ım kaybettim. İsam kaybettim. İsam, İsam Ellsadaim.


If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make his way home?

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see if, seeing meant
That you would have to believe in things like heaven
And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?

And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make his way home?

Back up to heaven all alone
No, nobody calling on the phone
No, just tryin' to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome


 All I wanted was a simple kind of life.    2005-03-17 04:14:37 ET



I hate the US government.

I hate their visa procedures.

I LOVE my fiance, I hate that we have visa problems.

I cant get a visa for him unless I go to the USA. We wanted to go back together.


FUCK YOU TERRORISTS! -- you killed 3 of my cousins, and 2 of my friends. Now, the one thing I love in life, I cant have where I want it. I dont want to live in Turkey. I want to live with him in the USA. Your people SPIT on me in the street here because they find out Im American. They ask me "11/9 nasıl dı?" and I tell them how HORRIBLE it was, and they LAUGH.

happy st. patrick's day.

*goes home, and cries*

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