...and somehow, I never have any time.    2005-03-13 09:32:24 ET
I havent looked at my TOEFL program for a 2 weeks. I havent started my exercises like I said I would a month ago -- the same for my "diet".

My diet was GREAT -- I ate all Turkish food (ie unprocessed, clean, natural). Now that I can speak Turkish, I can go to the bank and get money. I can also go shopping. My favorite sentence has (lately) been "çikolata var mı?" ("do you have chocolate?") -- NOT to be confused with my FAVORITE: kıllı poposı (kul-luh poh-poh-suh: the hairy ass).


Anyways, yeah. Tomorrow Oğuz and I have set a date -- that is the day he stops smoking, and the day I get serious (SERIOUS) about my diet. I gained back some of my weight (I've lost 45kilograms since coming to Turkey). Why? Because I take taxis everywhere. If I were in the desert and it were flat here I would TOTALLY walk everywhere -- but Turkey is mountainous. Walking to my private lesson is like a trip through friggin' Appalacia.

Speaking of walking!!!!!!!
I bought cute shoes the other day. SUPER cute. Pictures to follow later. Anyways, bought the shoes and walked 15 minutes away UPHILL (mountain) and now, I have a blister SKIN REMOVED about 3 inches in width and one and a half inches in length. I offically have a short flat blister open, oozing, and HURTING LIKE A STAB WOUND on my foot.

Salağım ben ya. (I'm an idiot.)

Im now inspired to go home and clean my room and study the Turkish I havent studied in a while.

My boss realized that he paid me wrong last paycheck. I got 35 extra bucks this time -- HUZZAH!!!!!

How's everybody else doing???

 Kros suck, and Oğuz rocks my world    2005-03-09 07:55:30 ET
Due to a lack of words to describe just what a "kro" is in Turkish, I am going to make a point in taking pictures of them. Lots of pictures, lots of kros. BEWARE -- THE KROS ARE COMING.

Today, woke up, Oğuz was grumpy jerk. So grumpy about having to go to school and do his thesis that he told me "I dont want to see you tonight, I dont want to see you for the rest of the week. I have a thesis to do.".

Yeah, ouch.

So, while he was in the bathroom, I put on my clothes, and left to my apartment. No breakfast. No morning sex. No coffee. No goodbye, no "have a nice day (insert cheezy disgusting pukey name here)". Nothing. Just left.

I went upstairs. I was so sad, and so upset -- but I didnt cry like my usual self. I thought.

"BKT, you've 2 options --
1. Be pissed and angry, dont forgive, make things unplesant, horrible, cut-throat BAD.
2. He might not have understood that when you tell somebody in English "I dont want to see you", especially a lover, you might as well say "fuck off bitch-face". It's a very different thing in TUrkish -- its not mean at all. Its a suggestion in Turkish, not a command. You should make him dinner tonight and be super sweet to him. He feels bad about his thesis.

So what do I do? 1 is an option. Definately. I have PMS, I could go pyro-skitzo-panic-maniac right now if I want to. 2 is also an option - a very REAL option... but he made me feel bad. He was a jerk. Im not making dinner. No way. He shouldnt be such a big baby.

In short, I think for a long time, and I come up with option #3:

"Write him a note, stick it to the door. Tell him where Im going that day. Invite him to go, and tell him that if he doesnt want to come with me that's fine -- I'll give him a 2 week vacation out of the grace of my heart if he wants it, and leave it at that."

So that's what I did. I wrote him a note (in Turkish). "Dear Oğuz, you woke up so grumpy this morning and Im sorry if I left like a grump this morning. I hope you're having better time now than this morning. Just some information for you: To say "I dont want to see you (Seni görmek istemiyorum)" suggests that you hate the person and you want them out of your life forever. I know it doesnt mean that in TUrkish and that's not what you want, you probably wanted to say "Seni görmek olmaz çünkü tezim yazıyorum(It's impossible for me to see you because Im writing my thesis).". Its ok, just be more careful next time. I was angry before, but then I thought about it and it's just a linguistical barrier. Not too big of a deal. Anyway, here's what Im up to today: If Im not at home cleaing, Im at the mall, the internet cafe, or the American Embassy. I also could be sleeping if I dont answer -- Im SUPER tired. Anyways, take care, have a good day. Ill see you 2 weeks later. Love you, Bec."

Well guess who just came home half an hour ago? Guess who read my note, and came running to the internet cafe with CHOCOLATE and a big sad puppydog face???? Guess who's sorry? Guess who's note worked? Guess who got an apology and is super happy about it? Oğuz came home and read the note. Then, he went running to the internet cafe with chocolate and a big sad puppydog face. He's sorry. My note worked. I got an apology and Im super happy!


SO now, Im going to my apartment. Im going to eat chocolate. Im going to unpack my stuff into my new bedroom in my new apartment. And then, before going to bed, Im going to wish Oğuz a goodnight with a big kiss, and go plan wedding stuff.


1 comment

 BITCH FIT. God save the queen.    2005-03-08 10:44:54 ET
Şimdi napacam?

I am to be writing a TOEFL course, a private booklet for a private student, unpacking my things, dieting and exercising, going to the American Embassy, fixing things.

Napacam? What am I gonna do?

Napacam -- İngilizce düşünmek bana zor. What am I gonna do? It's becoming difficult for me to think, write, SPEAK in English.

Napacam... I have lost my motivation. Maybe if I dont sleep tonight and just work work work and take advantage of my time off for the next two days, Ill be alright...


Behiye's boyfriend is a

And I hope he left. He and his stupid hick friend came -- they invited me to drink Raki (Turkish national drink) with them, but I declined. It's Lent and I was supposed to meet my mom online around the time they wanted to drink.

Do you know what Turkish hicks look like? They wear suits. All the time. Pin-striped like the mafia, only with lots of grease in their hair and no teeth. Go to the club, they're wearing a suit. Go to the mall, they're wearing a suit. Go to the gas station, they're wearing a suit. Go to the grocery store for milk, eggs, and some bread - they're wearing a suit. Go across the street to the local small store to buy a pack of cigarettes and, yup, they're wearing a suit. Go to the barber -- wearing a suit. Go to the mosque -- wearing a suit. Go for a walk -- wearing a suit. Go to their girlfriend's house to just say hi and GUESS WHAT?!?!? THEY'RE WEARING A SUIT. A BLACK PIN-STRIPED SUIT. THE ONLY ONE THEY FUCKING OWN. THEY'RE LOOKING AT THE FOREIGN ROOMMATE LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT AND PISSING OFF HER FIANCE.


It starts when theyre young. At the age of puberty they start to mimick their fathers and the hick singers on TV that they find cool. And it never leaves. You know that there is no hope for a Turkish kid who's 12 to turn out ok if he's wearing a suit to school, home, the store, the mall, the club, THE LAUNDRY MAT AND TO BED. He'll don a suit forever... with too much hair gel or grease, and a ring of dirt on his neck (or else a shitload of hick-parfume -- sometimes worse than dirt).

And maybe you say "BKT, you know, maybe they dont have so much money. Maybe they dont have a job. Maybe that's why they wear a suit everyday and dont bathe. They save the hairgrease and use it as gel later... dont be so CRUEL!"

Dear friends, every KRO I have met owns 2 BMWs (SUPER expensive in Turkey), an Armani suit, and at least 3 stores on the same street -- if not the WHOLE STREET. Yep. KROS are filthy rich. Filthy rich and filthy lazy.

And they see me walking down the street at night, beep their horns to intice me to turn to them, smile, and get in their car because they think Im a (very common here) Russian WHORE.

I am only comfortable on OĞuz's arm.

Home again, home again - jiggity jig.


 Picture just taken today.... YAY!    2005-03-06 09:57:26 ET
This is me and my.... FAVORITE NEW CLASS! 2 of the students. Nilgün is on the left and Fatih is on the right. That leaves me in the middle with PMS, a bad breakout on my chin, and shit hair. But yeah, what a great class!!! :)

Let me just re-iterate how much I LOVE my job. This is my classroom. To the left of Nilgün is my writing on the board, and behind Fatih on the wall is a letter from Ataturk (founder of Turkey) that hangs on every wall of every classroom in Turkey -- and sometimes in businesses too. There are 6 desks in the class (mine makes 7), each holds 2 students -- so no more than 12 students per class. This is my good class. Love them to death. If there are any men or ladies out there looking for a Turkish spouse -- Nilgün is 30 and Fatih is 23 -- they both want to get married. Why not to each other, I dont know -- they OUGHT to. They go GREAT together. Best of friends. Anyways -- again -- love my job SO much!


 AHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!    2005-03-02 03:27:52 ET
Been playing video games non stop for 2 hours on the computer...

feel like my eyes are going to roll out of my head

they burn

they itch

my contacts are melting to my eyes

I think Im gonna puke

it hurts badly

my eye makeup is smearing into my eyes so I cant see anything

am I gonna go blind?

the ey emake up itches

I am offically freaking out

I just spent lots of money on internet poopy.


How Y'all doin today? :)


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