Martha Fucking Stewart
2003-04-14 15:55:07 ET

So I got new drapes. The previous owners were heavy smokers apparently, as there is lots of soot and funk all over the old vinyl blinds, and they are fucking disgusting.

Therefore, I've replaced them with rice-paper japanese-style blinds. They look much, much better.

New Blinds. The red blinds are the old ones, the white, new.

Fun Fun
2003-04-13 07:23:25 ET

I had the most fun I'd had in a while going out last night. The best part was freestyling while drunk on candy apple martinis while walking through some ghetto part of brooklyn at 2 AM going on about my buddy Ed's love life. Something like "I turned your girl into a cum rag; I had to wash that in a maytag". It got pretty graphic.

Dave Attell
2003-04-12 10:58:46 ET

As I was just walking down the street in Chelsea, I saw Dave Attell, the comedian from Comedy Central's "Insomniac". He's easily my favorite comedian.

Lesbian Action
2003-04-11 20:34:28 ET

Don't hate me because lesbians sometimes find me attractive. Today's comic is all about Lesbian Action.

For some reason, my boyish non-threatening looks seem to fair well with those of the fairer sex who typically prefer the fairer sex. I'm not complaining.

Good Deed
2003-04-10 15:26:49 ET

I did my good deed for the day. Rather than throw my moving boxes away, a quick post on craig's list found my boxes gone within a day or two. I'd rather give them away to be re-used than throw them away or recycle them.

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