this is great    2004-02-26 10:35:31 ET
I don't care what anyone says. I fuckin love cats. Today has been a bad day so far, everybody has been ignoring me. And my kitty jumped up on my lap and started purring. It made me feel loved =D

 It just wont work out now    2004-02-26 10:14:44 ET
Twas another morning this morning. You know one of those mornings you wake up and hope it was just a dream. Well this has been happening for the past week and a half. I wake up and I pray and hope that it was just a dream. I want to wake up from a coma and find my life has just been a bad dream. Yet to my prevail no matter how deep I cut no matter how much I deny everything it is no dream and I am brought back to this pointless hell you call conciousness. This morning when I woke up I realized something. I've distanced myself from so many people nobody, well almsot nobody now knows who I am. And the only two people who really knows what happens in my life don't even live in the same state as me. So it's time again to grit my teeth smile and trudge on through the endless waves of everything I despise.

I need to get outta my house now. I don't care what happens I just need to leave. Gettin high will momentarily take it away. Death is too easy and I don't want to give up yet, I'm not a fucking quitter. But there has to be a point where I either give up or everything gets better.

     2004-02-25 19:57:08 ET
It's 50 degrees out in February. I'm loving it. It's a clear night the stars are bright and there is light to see by. I was outside in the breeze smoking for a half hour just to feel the breeze. It was a wonderful night to night.

 This is badass    2004-02-24 21:15:23 ET
I fixed my Crossbreed cd which I haven't been able to listen to in a long time. I love that cd. It's wierd but fucking cool. Yay!

 I don't know    2004-02-24 20:36:43 ET
I talked to a good friend for the first time in a loooong time. I think I still love her. This isn't good.

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