full moon ahead my darling
2002-09-28 05:57:46 ET

its so sad.. we're millions of kilometers apart and there is nothing i can do but spend hundreds of dollars on letters and phone calls.. maybe i could save up to go see her in the summer.. i miss my sister so much. i wish she was here so i could hug her and buy her all the glorious things she wants and just have fun with her.. i wish she was never taken away..I love her :D she's only 8 perhaps i could live with them.. get a job.. and a dual citizenship.. i have time to think..

have you ever had a dream that you want to come true so very badly? like a dream when you're asleep. ..... i hate being grounded..

music: Queens of The Stone Age *no one knows*

2002-09-24 11:17:39 ET

i can't stand this place.. let me out.. let me let go.. i hate this.. like there is blackness all around with no meaning.. let me hate me.. let me hurt me.. let me out.. let me stay safetly in the darkness where i shall not be bothered.. my heart is dying ever so slowly.. ever so painfully.. let me out..

2002-09-20 19:00:53 ET

I looked up at the sky tonight
and it was breath taking
mesmerizing to my mind's eye
it showed life
the radical and soft events
the love and hatred
the unity and rivalries
i could not believe how i by passed it
the light and flashing
loud claps of thunder
how could life ever be so pleasing
how could life ever be attained
how could you trust what's unknown
be free i said
live life, love and forgive
i could look into his eyes forever
undernearth this sky of beauty this sky
of ultimate life and death
she says to me.. i do not trust this life, for i cannot explain it
don't explain it i said
embrace it.. and look at the sky

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