2004-09-24 20:17:30 ET
Let me ask a quick question to those who read this...

If one night you got drunk at a party and really just wanted to go home but your friends didn't let you so you wrestled with one and got your keys from him and then they both told you to "just fucking leave" and swo you did... but you came back to make sure that they would be able to get a ride and if they were sure they didn't want to go home also and was anzswered with more expletives so you left. You then got lost going the wrong direction on the highway and hit a broken down car on the side of the highway(no one was inside thank god) and you were arrested and in the cop car called one of your freinds and told him what was happening and then you went to jail. And you stayed in jail for 24 hours until you finally got a hold of your parents at 11:00pm at night and got them to bail you out. So after this... you call all your friends to let them know you got out of jail... but wait they don't answer so you leave a message... they still don't call... two weeks go by... they don't call... another week. Nothing. Then out of the blue one calls you and you guys hang out and you let him know that your are pissed... he says you are an idiot for being pissed... you ask him "Why didn't you call my parents to let them know where I was?" No answer. Then about 4 hours ago your other friend who you wrestled the keys from IMs you online and goes off on you for leaving them so far from home and all this and says that you are just being stubborn and trying to blame it on other people... and all you said was that he's not your friend anymore cuz friends just don't ignore them for 3 weeks like that no matter what.

And that's where I'm at right now. My bestfriend is not speaking to me... my other friends are ignoring me... and it's my fault.

Is it? I mean... I'm the one who is going to owe all the legal fees... all the court hours and fines... and insurance... and have no car anymore... and all I'm mad them about is leaving me in jail for 24 hours and not talking to me for 3 weeks... am I transferring blame? I don't think I am but if I am tell me and I will apologize... cuz all I want are my friends back... I want people to talk to cuz I have no one... well that's a lie... but I need MY freinds... the people who have been there for 5 years but I don't consider what happened friendlike and I don't want that in my life... but if it's normal and natural for me to just write it off as their fault let me know cuz I will apologize.

Man... the above post is absolutely crazy. But hopefully it makes some sense.

 Saul Williams...    2004-09-21 09:16:44 ET
Well... the new album is out and holy shit is it fuckin good!! It's amazing... if you like beat poetry... if you like GOOD hip hop... if you like revolutionary speech... if you like intelligent thought... this is the album that you need.

And it's got an awesome collaboration with Zach de la Rocha.



 My Mourning Star    2004-09-08 19:35:12 ET
What about all the stories and the lies? Do you have anymore for me to fill up these senses failing and sit back waiting for me to rise flailing above the surface so I can breath wiping sweat thick as ink outfrom my eyes...

What about all the simple truths denied like a long list of rejection notices to the poor for loans that were never there with nothing to fill their empty sighs...

Easily corrupted and easily confused rarely pure lines you use are the placebo for the cure... empty the pockets of the weak and the willing to sell them a beginning... a check book of fake personas that allow for small changes to the one big lie that is your life...

What about... what about the seconds that gasp and grip your tongue... the words you stole and the lives you took demand more than sleepless nights and pages of regrets that could fill a book...

Driftless on the bottom rung of a staircase broken and cracked... what about then?

Will you repave your way to the top with laundered truth only to risk the fall farther to the bottom like before?

Like a hostage taken to the roof of his own abductor's saga of pain and misery except you've mistaken your role in this tragedy... what about when tomorrow comes? what then?

Take my advice and just take the end now... the closing credits and the exit door... don't drop the clean words from the dirty mouth and rip the hole you tore before...

But that would be too nice of an end even for you... an end to a pretty tale of a deceptive life on the edge... feet cautiously positioned with notice and care on your own shaky lies that mirror this ledge...

Just jump and make the leap... the big step into the open air... the fall from grace... just to make things fair... accepting all the cuts in the rope that ties you to me... Severing evey ounce of strength in my hands to hold on... to risk going down with you... I don't want to take the blame... I don't want to die this way...

I don't want... I don't need... I don't want to see...

So answer me this...

What then?

 Two Shots Less of Feeling    2004-08-19 20:20:58 ET
I wish for the times when I was the life of the party
The ones thrown by the bad boys where the good girls showed their true side
And I was just me left alone at home sipping down on my glass of reality
Their's was nothing left to decide on those nights
And everything was simpler than today

So beckon to all the shattered dreams
With this heart handled flask of strength to get through the evenings
Where I don't believe in what I used to
And it feels like I am nothing and you are everything
And these are the sayings we choose too
The mixing of lies with sex
Never builds love in the end
And we pace the room looking for whoever's next

End it all tonight
My struggles and shortcomings are anything but beautiful
And I'm masking them with an inebriated feeling of euphoric proportions
Mixed with the same lines that I might just make it out alive tonight
Waking up next to something that's a lot less than nothing
And the evening is deemed a storyteller's dream

The lights come up in my eyes
The feeling that this headache hides
Is empty... I feel so empty
The lights come up and I raise my head
To the stars and the moon and the glimpse of mercury and mars
And the fact that they are closer to you than I ever will be

So drink up for the night is dieing before it begins
And the midnight highs have to hold out for longer than just one day
So we won't realize what we are running from
Is being normal

 Title and Registration    2004-08-11 14:49:52 ET
"There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night"

That damn song gets me everytime.
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