The Sleepless Dreamer    2004-08-04 20:01:03 ET
So I'm taking a break from the world for a while
But let me know when I should return
For the moment has come to me
That I can no longer call this day a day of mistaken identities...

I see you for you

So leave me an answer to my questions
Leave me a star to point me in the right direction
And help me to notice that it's not love but some viable sense of loneliness
And not a true connection

She always says 'quit dieing on me'
But I love the way you reincarnate me into a better person
With every line you send me
I wouldn't mind some love but I don't get carried away
No more dreams... just reality

So help me to quit placing bets on the losing races
The losing teams with the losing faces
And I never got used to being number two
But I'll take it so I can see what happens

Even though I'm the one left behind
I see you for you

     2004-08-02 14:09:19 ET
So yeah... I did post this on another site before SK so I apologize but nobody ever reads the other one...

So... since I'm such a big PIMP and all... I've decided to do my own take on the dating scene. There's reality shows about checking out people's rooms and ones where a STUD gives advice to some "dud". Well I have comprised a list of things NOT TO DO that I have done on dates...

#1. Taking the girl to see a shitty movie and thinking that she liked it... try and make up a reason why it was so good. Yeah... doesn't work... the chick thinks you have no taste and will make you wait 3 years before you can get another date.

#2. When meeting your dates father... do not forget to laugh at his jokes about getting his daughter home early. If you don't laugh he will think you are just a pretentious asshole. So laugh dammit!

#3. Passing out at your dates house on the first date and waking up at 7:30 in the morning. Parents wake up earlier than that usually and you don't want to have the mom or dad walk in to see you passed out on their daughter's bed... not good.

#4. This goes with Warning #3... do not spend the night at your date's dorm room and wake up to her parents knocking on the door because it's Parent's Weekend. Not easy to hide in a 20x10 box.

#5. Show up to your date's house drunk... parents have keen senses of alcohol cuz they've been around it a lot longer than any of your friends... best bet would be to just call it off.

#6. Do NOT under any circumstances... start hitting on your date's mom infront of her. Even if you are just trying to be nice... girls are jealous human beings.

#7. Going along with Warning #6... Do NOT under any circumstances hit on your date's sister or her friends. If you think the girl is cute do NOT hook up with her until you have met her friends. It's a lot easier to get away from a "friendship" than it is a "girlfriend" and still have free reign to hook up with members of the immediate family and friends.

#8. Do NOT make the mistake of hooking up with a girl that is uglier than a girl that you are already hooking up with... it just makes you look bad and is just downright wrong. Don't downgrade... only upgrade... it just doesn't make any sense.

#9. Do NOT call a girl at 3:00 am so you guys can "meet up and talk"... she knows what you want and if you already haven't gone there with her... you aren't at 3:00 in the morning. Wait til later in the day to call... always better cuz if she does meet up with you at 3:00 am then she wants you to cuddle with her... and that's not fun when all you want is to get some.


...Do NOT make a burnt cd for a girl that's a "friend" and expect her to get the subtle hints from the music lyrics that you have had a crush on her for the last year. Most girls don't even understand complete sentences let alone song lyrics. So take it from me... just come out and tell the girl that you like her before she ditches you for your bestfriend cuz you are too much of a pussy and gave your friend her screenname so he could see if she really liked you... I mean GROW SOME BALLS!!! HAHAHA....

I laughed a lot while writing this.


 Something I wrote recently...    2004-07-29 14:26:47 ET
So she's a pretty girl
Bathed in Gucci, Channel and wrapped up in pearls
But does she see the depth in the lines of hell
The lines on the screen
The real image that fades in the light
And screams out with insight
Into the culture that has possessed her
The one that makes her obsessed with her
And nothing else of beauty other than what her doctor can cut and sow together
Like a divining rod to take her to a place of infinite pleasure
And it seems like to her it's just the drugs that takes her

And she can't be saved unless she saves herself
From her own entrapment with herself
Like a gun to her head by herself
Standing in the shower ready to release herself
From the constant flurry of stimulation and manipulation
Constant confession in this place of mass confusion
So she can't be saved until she chooses
Before she loses all to the rushing fashion
Like an oncoming train straight to her temple
Only a click left to self-destruction

Is it welcome to see it on the newspaper headlines
The highlights page or the obituary
You choose, she's on it and worshipped like in a sanctuary
Her insides are outside for all to see
Cuz she's a seethru model of decedance
And circumstance
The persistance of the American dream
To be thin and mean and make the green
That everyone wants but nobody but somebody else has
And we are all waiting to steal it from our own lives like a credit line
The interest is too high but we just lower our heads to take the line
Through dollar bills laced with sex, lies, greed, and crime
Taking all until she can't take it anymore
And the beat stops like running out of batteries she can't afford no more
So she finds herself lowering her head to take a little more than what she signed up for
But "that's show business lady and you gotta take it on the chin"
Is this the picture she wants to show to her kids
Empty medicine bottles, a pitcher of beer and and the sneer of three stangers
The price of fame and she's not even halfway out of danger

But she's gonna be a big star and there's no stopping her
Nothing but her
1 comment

 The clock stops...    2004-07-22 20:02:13 ET
I am officially sick and tired of being me.

They should have "Trade Lives With Someone Else" Day.

 Listening to Electronica while drinking Cherry Coke...    2004-07-18 09:35:21 ET
I also have Goldfish... and the electronica is B.R.A.S.S.Y.'s "Got It Made" and Overseer's "Wreckage".

I love 'em both.

Oh yeah... I had a long talk with my bestfriend's "hook-up" girl that's 15... she's a talker that's for sure. I would try and give her my advice and she'd just keep talking. HAHA... that never happens. I am usually in control of the conversation. It was kind of weird. Oh and my "girlfriend" Naz has decided that we should date other people cuz I'm too nice and she knows that one day she'll cheat on me. HAHAHA... and then... this 16 year old lastnight was professing her undying love for me and this other chick about two days ago was sending me text messages about how sexy I am.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH GIRLS LATELY!?!?! They are all super insane and way too easy... it's not a question of how to find a girl now as much as it is a where and when...

It's kind of bothering me.

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