Glorious Disgrace    2004-06-13 21:22:36 ET
The void is what keeps me wanting and needing.
Cigarette caringons give me a high to the feel no more.
Just so I can stop feeling the desires that keep on bleeding.
Don't cheapin me, which go upspoken.
My words gone and forgotten.
All I want is to be heard but instead of become your mocking bird.
If the car door opend just as fast the passing cars maybe I have no chance.
This is a fleeding dance.
I desire the understanding of all but get the respect of none.
Remove my feeling because I don't need them anymore this poor soul has nothing to keep and could care less if god lost some sleep.

I got some new books today and one being anne rice the other a sandman book. I worked and felt like crap at the end of the day. I hate days like this. I hope I got the job at benfit.

 Vamp    2004-06-11 07:55:08 ET
Vamps tonight who's going sexy people ?? whoo hoo teheheh

 Field trip to the grave..    2004-06-10 06:05:04 ET
Yesterday was really good, it got off to a crappy start because I felt like i had no friends. Yet around 12 I got a free pizza lunch yum then went for a interview at macys. I'm so fucking happy about that because they offerd me a counter top manger position !! holy crap is all that went through my mind !! I mean manger whoo hoo I got one more interview and I'm set. After saw the movie saved....two words "McAuley Calkin." Funnny as hell, I love his character. I mean he is the lucid chracter who just is on the dot the whole time. I loved the writting and ideas. Not the best movie in the world. Yet it;s worth seeing !! and after that came home and just here.
1 comment

 Want ads    2004-06-09 10:47:57 ET
So would anyone like to go hang out some time and have some fun ??

 Murker water makes murker life    2004-06-09 10:46:47 ET
I feel kinda of sad yet happy...sad to the point that I have very little friends to hang out with. I mean, I want friends who are into same stuff and go to the same's just hard to come by those who call to hang out. I also get the feeling that when I try to make friends people take me the wrong way or they just don't understand me or don't take the time to get to know me they also judge me on the way I look. I mean it's like why judge people on they way they look ?? if they can't change what life has done to them then why the hell do you judge them ?? So they blow me off or say hi in public and give me that humoring attitude... I don't know if it's all true but that the feeling I get from people. I mean everyone is busy but not super busy because they make time for people to hang out with.I think its lame when people say I'm busy yet throw a party and never call you. Or not include you on plans or call you back when you being polite. I mean people take the kindness for granted that I offer...I mean I don't know what it is and I know everyone shuffles off second rate excusses to why people dislike you or not talk and so on....fuck I'm so much better then the fucking scum i talk to. Their fucking look I'm diffrent cause i listen to __________ (fille in the blank with band that seems artsy) fucking attitudes. I swear music is what you fucking make it but everyone lost that point for lame reasons and being faux smarts. Welcome to morron central.I mean because you listen to Sex Gnang children or Christian Death does not mean I'm going to think your amazing or diffrent. You can prove it by not acting like the in crowd. I swear rih snobby kids pentrate any thing cheapin it and turn it into their owen gay shit. I fucking hate un hummble people. Uggghhhhh anyway I got another interview at maceys in Westminster mall. I mean, i work hard, i work out for better health and enjoy what I like and people always seem to be like not good enough blahh !! anyway my rants over. enjoy

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