A day that will live in terror    2005-11-13 23:04:08 ET
So the weekend re-cap friday got to patricks appartment and meet Mike , Tamara,Stewart, Patrick and Sarah or (5arah). Hung out got ready for bunker then went. Did a little pre drinking then danced our asses off introduced had fun Stewart got hit on by Voltaire from suicide girls and everyone sorta just hung out talked and meet bands. After went home slept. Saturday, we got up lounged me Patrick got my hair cut service his car got the guys went back to shop but did not happen then went to eat Koren BBQ which was pretty good. Guys went home while Patrick and Patrick went to go get my boots that where comped. Went home dyed our hair and cut Patricks. Looked bitching in it. Went to teh venue and watched the guys play fucking rocked the socks off people. Had a badass time !! guys kicked so much ass. Then drank more talked to Sonya for a bit then went home. Threw an after party for the guys and in return they gave me an Ozone midi mixer for a present to say thanks for all the help andd having a great time. Crashed out about 6 am. Woke up the guys left and Me, Marc, Patrick hung around worked on some stuff a DJ of ours dropped out and we got a new one who just as good. Got some shit worked out and now on easy street people will be blown away with the new logo's so fucking happy heheheheheh..this will be a frist for OC !! so happy and excited for it all !! good weekend

 Lets remove the small part then the rest.    2005-10-14 07:14:22 ET

FYI: Writter is drunk, Emotionally scared, and bleeding. So what ever is written is babble and just expressingmyself for my mind to release and understand more about my problems and reflect. Nothing is set in stone or could or not be true. So read with a light heart. Understand the concepts.

So I saw her last night, she looked so gorgeous walking in and searching for people that showed up for her birthday. Yet instead of a warm welcome I got the cold shoulder, not a hello, how r u ?? not even who you come with? She was so distant it felt like I did not matter, although we agreed the night before to be cool and act as friends most the other friends got warmer welcomes. I sat mostly on the patio, smoking and being cool giving her space and even that did not work. I got called in for cake and went to say happy B day and as the candles went out so my heart. I saw her kissing a friend. It hurt, I mean she tossed me aside, nothing special or worth rembering. Just another man to her, who she proaby felt used her. I did fuck up after we broke up, I hooked up with a friend two weeks later. Yet I aplogized, and did not hide it because I was honest with her. So I guess it made her and hate me(yet she says she's not but after last night yeah felt like it). Then when I try to say happy b day to her all I got was the most shitty feeling in fucking life. She ignored me and did not stop say hello look over just kept talking like she wanted me to just go away. It hurts alot when the person you love makes fun of you, blows you off, confirms lies, and just makes you feel like the shittest person in the world. If I knew that was going to happen I would of still done the same......nothing. I never did that I never laughed at her expence and is she going to change do anything about it no. She just going to walk away as everyone else gets the chance. I guess ticking up for your friends does not matter or just me. I mean, if she only understood how muchhhhhh how much that these three weeks hurt because she does not help comfort or anything with me she just blows me off. Or seems like it because she have to spend more time with friends to make up for the lost time she had with me. It hurts so much, more then a quick cheap format and done with emotions, more then a quick filler boy, more then just lying to yourself and saying you don't care. I'm just hurt so most the words our lash out's like quick cheap BF to replace me, I mean it feels like that. That I was not special and that she was trying to fill a spot as a old women would with a dog when her husband passed away. I could be wrong about it all but it all just hurt and ever second of one of your friends nailing her. Also getting parnoid that others helped him get her with some cheap talk and bs logic. I hate logic, their no such thing logically I can kill the president and it be good. Logic is a lame tool. I'am drunk, I need to stop I just don't want this pain....i keep listing to wolfsheim over and over hear our song care for you and it just stings. *sigh tear* I wish this all go away. It's funny how everyone rushs to care for your ex but not you the pat you on the back tell you to deal with it. They through parties and hang out with her more then you. Or seems like it. It hurts, so much to think about her and what she makes you feel like like your shit and not even her bestfriend anymore....I feel wounderful *sobs* ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 Let the dead rise    2005-10-11 23:01:19 ET
SO the weekend went great play for Dulce liquido I was very happy and had fun. I was offerd a Dj spot in Mexico city for Dec, I'm still debating it because it's far and I have never travled yet to play with other countries. I'am open for the idea but it to see friends and play a gig. So it's more and I'm happy but I'm stuck with the new club and the opening night of it. Prep designs ideas things like that. I'm still trying to figure out ideas for names and sorta got alot and good one but not sure yet what would be the name. Things have gotten worse and better so life is balanced and right now I'm trying more and more to move forward and release some stuff. Yet sorta going through dry spot with cash so looks like i will have to strap and see how things go. As far as the rest i look forward to how things turn out. SO much on the plate I have to just deal with. Yet I enjoy it and sorta going to push forward yet i have my head spinning hahah so things will go on and so will I.More direction and future more ppush and more struggle.

 Alive    2005-10-03 04:39:54 ET
This weekend has been more then revitalizing, I have never been so happy so charged. It's been great, I mean you don't understabd wacthing the dance floor b eing so packed wacthing people I also got me some mad probs !! heheh good things do come to those who work hard. Packing the dance floor having people love ever song and then rant about how your spinning kicked their ass is fucking great !!
1 comment

 Small time this....    2005-09-19 18:47:45 ET
As much as I want to type whats going on. All I would say right now some people couldn't get any dummber if they tried to. Hahahahah thats pretty much it hahaha.

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