T'was the night before Chistmas2002-12-11 16:55:27 ET

Night Before X-mas( the other version)

T'was the night before Christmas
And all throught the house,
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse.

Mom at the whorehouse
And Dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down
For a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment
It must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of Hell,
I knew in a flash
The fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart,
The son-of-a bitch
Blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all

tattoos..2002-12-09 17:47:33 ET

so yea..I'm getting a tattoo in may.. its just like my dad's. He has a panter on his right upper arm that takes up his whole upper arm. Its neat.. I've loved it since I was little. So I'm getting that panter.. only 3/4 inches long on my left upper arm.. but its going to be hanging from a banner that says either " Daddy's Little Peananut" or " Daddy's Peananut". By the way, Peananut (PEE-nah-NUT) is what my dad has called me for as long as I can remember. This tattoo has meaning to me.. and its very personal.. I've always been daddys lil' girl and been really close with him..Thats how its always been. I'm glad I finally figured out how I wanted it, I've thought about it for 3 yrs. I'm actully comfortable with having that on my body for the rest of my life. I think I'm proud that I'm getting it.

:: I ::2002-12-08 11:45:09 ET

hate feeling like a fucking obligation...
hate that the person that can make me the happiest little girl in the world can at the same time turn around and make me the sadest..
also don't know exactly why I got jealous the other day over that thing....
doesn't seem like they like spending much time with me anymore...
feel like a burden something that HAS to be dealt with..
can't understand it right now...
feel like crying...
the love is still there...
but it hardly shows anymore...
only loved when they want some..
well thats how it seems..
always getting yelled at when trying to do something thoughtful for them...
get yelled at for forgetting to ask...
want to cry...
tears won't come out..
wouldn't the other day either when jealousy hit..
feeling like an obligation fucking sucks...

HYNDMAN2002-12-06 11:53:53 ET

welp...off to Hyndman for the weekend.... tell ya about it later..luv yas!

::give up::2002-12-05 08:03:11 ET

thats it.. I'm done!
Last night my b/f told me Krystal took a bunch of pills and threw up awhile later.. I'm fuckin done.. I can't tell her what I haven't told her 50 million times before.. I'm sikc of hearing her saying shes going to take all her pills.. I'm sick of her doing it (3rd time by the way)... I'm done! ... I tried to be a good friend and help her, but I can't deal with it right now..its causing me to go insane and become depressed because I feel I'm failing as a friend.. so I'm done.. until she gets her shit together and stops acting like a brat.. I'm not talking to her or going to visit her in Hyndman... I want to tell her mom..but then Krystal will get mad.. so if I don't see her maybe she'll see that what she does effects everyone else too....and shes bring me down, Clay down and Brian done.. and I can't deal with it right now.. I just can't.. I can't deal with my own problems..let alone somebody else's...

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