money doesnt grow on trees......2006-08-01 09:56:31 ET

I know that one ALL to well.
so i got a bill for my surgery yesterday....
it was only about... oh um gee .....$17,000.00!
so my grand total so far in medical bills in the state of south carolina is..... about... $25,000.00.
in maryland i had been the the emergancy room a bunch of times since i turned 18..and all i owe them is $5,000.00.
Yesterday was just a shitty day all around.
I went to work on 1 hour of sleep.
simply for the fact that i couldnt sleep due to working graveyard and being on the sleep schedule.
so i had to work at 7am-12:30pm ( thank god), on 1 hour of sleep.
every little shitty thing that could happen..happened.
i ran into a wall, smashed my finger, the copier jammed about 30 billion times, the phone was ringing off the hook, couldnt find the dss office in time to get my paperwork done, my brother was an asshole as usual, my stomache was upset, i got that huge fuckin bill in the mail, i lost some shit.
i was hungry, i was tired, i was mean, angry, crabby, whiney, achey, depressed...and everyone paid.
poor jason.
i threw my purse in his lap one time and hit his balls and then i threw a magazine in his lap and hit his balls.
when we got home from running around he had to make me go to sleep.
i slept from 3:30pm until 8pm. then him and my brother woke me up to go get something to eat. i said i really didnt want to, but they insisted.
sooo..we went tp hardee's, i fucked up my own order, but the lady nicely fixed it for me. and then i ended up spilling my large drink all over the table and floor.
oh it was horrible.

and ya know.. today is another one of those days.
I'm running on 3 hours of sleep.
my tummy is upset again.
i checked out some people that werent suppose to be checked out.
its hot a fuck in here.
and then my mom calls me and tells me that we have to have a months rent by friday.
thats $525.00.
mom gets paid thursday and i get paid friday..and we still wont have enough.
so my brother needs to start coughing up his share or he can go back to MD.
I will fuck him up if we lose our place because of his selfish, inconsiderate ass.
This just motivates me 10 times more to get practicing these set lists with jason, lee and jonathan.

i need to come in tomorrow and make up the hours i missed yesterday when i left early for my doctors appointments. i dont have to come in by a managers request... but i need to for myself and my mom, i need those hours on my next pay check.
i cant wait to get home and cuddle with jason and sleep.
i'm tired.
and I'm also irritated at my brothers selfish ways.
he has maybe put 200 towards anything since we have lived in south c.
what a dick.

i think i'm going to call jason to come down here alittle early.

RE SPECT WALK...ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?2006-07-28 20:01:25 ET

so I'm sorta.. doing this band thing with the other half.
and they want me to sing Walk by Pantera...and i think i'm going to do it.
i just need to get use to singing in front of Lee, Jonathan, Jason and Toni. lee's GF.
Once i cant sing around them, i will be fine when we start playing shows.
which should be in about 2 months.
cover bands make it big time here.
especially if you play up at the beach.

so i came into work and they said my audit report was not bad, i just forgot some paper work.
so the Ass. Manager is sleeping right now in one of the rooms, and at around 1:30am i need to call her to come down, she is going to help me with the paper work tonight, and then i should be fine.
next week i work all morning. YAY!
they hired 3 new people which means I wontg have to do night audit anymore unless something happens. YAY!!
I also dont have to work 10 days in a row!

right now I'm bored. there is nothing for me to do.
we are completely sold out.
as well as some other hotels here in town.
i dont know what is going on, but apparently there is a big event.

I cant wait to be off sunday.
i know this is a personal thing.. but i dont care. i'm bored.
Jason and i had to wait a week and a half before we could have sex, so we waited that week and a half... well almost..i basically raped him after a week and a day.
so anyway.. i've been tried and we always have all this shit we have to we have basically have not had any "alone time". which we are really use to having alot of time just him and i.
so i cant wait til sunday.
i need me some lovins. lol.

anyway...looks like CSX workers are ready to be checked out so imma go do that.

shit son2006-07-27 22:27:07 ET

it is 3am , and i really think i royally fucked up my night audit report.
oh well, i was gone for 2 weeks, which was me just starting night audit training. I came back to work yesterday, my manager walks me through everything one night and then lets me on my own tonight. blah.
for the most part i think i did ok for my 1st night of winging it.
but i know tomorrow night, well um tonight, when i come back into work i will probably have a bajillion e-mails about all the fuckin up i did.
i think i might go sleep in the back office until 5am, before i have to put out breakfast. i'm dead tired. i got little to no sleep at jasons yesterday. and when i was asleep, his nephew and his wife and a friend came over.. they came in his room... and it was obvious that i was sleeping...
i was sleeping good too.
but they continued to stay in the room and were all loud and woke me up. so lets see.. i got maybe 5 and a half hours of sleep. this morning when we got to his house i slept for maybe 4 hours and then i awoke to his nieces being all loud and shit. and then in the evening for about an hour and a half.
i took a look at the schedule that may be up soon.. and so far i am schedule for 10 straight days.
i'm doing to die of lack of sleep.
i hope they change that fuckin schedule.
this is my payback for being gone for 2 weeks and 2 other girls quitting while i was gone. and ya know...i really couldnt help that i had big ass stones in my kidney and had to get surgery and my doctor didnt want me to be at work.
i guess i'll work 80 hours in 10 days.
i mean it nice that i'm full time now and all, but damn. i'm just starting on this night audit shit.. and 10 days straight i'm going to lose my sanity.
i'm going to have no time to practice. with band shit that is.
this is going to be one hell of a 10 day stretch...
trying to make time for my relationship, friendships, and band stuff inbetween working and sleeping is going to take a toll on me.. i see it coming. there is already a bunch of shit going on.
wish me luck. lol.
oh i'm a dork.
you can tell i'm bored because now i'm just rambling.

my ex's girlfriend is a member on here, Combat Baby, shes a pretty cool gal, from what i know of talking to her on here and myspace and all that fun stuff. But anyway, it cool to know that he is really happy. that they are really happy together. i dated him for 4 years, but i dunno, I still care about him..and still have love for him and all. But seeing that he is truely happy and living a good life makes me happy. I'm glad he's happy. I'm glad I'm happy. I'm glad shes happy with him and treats him well and stuff.

lol.. rambling again
now i seem like i'm on drugs, but i'm not at the moment.
just bored and spurting our random thoughts.

So Jessica, I'm happy for you and AJ!
And even though he doesnt like the fact that you talk to me... tell him i said that I'm happy for the both of you.

ok, so now that i've wasted like 10 minutes of your life.. i'm going to stop typing.

i hope you cool cats have a grand weekend.

2006-07-26 08:50:57 ET

so things are still going great between jason and i.
i start back to work
they changed things up so i wont quit on them, like the other 3 employes.
umm..i healed wonderfully.
i started my new birth control monday.....

.....ummmm....thats about it.
oh..i have no internet at my house now because i am po' as fuck.

i lead a not so eventful life down here in the south.

on the cold table...2006-07-18 18:49:49 ET

so here is alittle quick update.
since last entry i have had 2 infections and they found kidney stones.
i am passing one at the moment and will have surgery tomorrow at 8am to remove the other.
i'm nervous.

i am going to go to bed now, jason is in there waiting to cuddle with me.

i will update on progress later.

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