Sucking......    2009-02-26 16:03:10 ET
This week has got to be the worst one so far. I'm about ready for 2010 to pop it head around the corner! It's been about getting hit in every direction possible so far!

Monday started off okay. Came home made a nice dinner. Then comes,"Can we talk?".Fair enough. I then get told that she sleeps better alone! A few times I have admittedly fallen asleep on the couch watching tv with the cats. No biggie. Or so I thought? I then get dug into, in a severly snappy tone. With her telling me. That her friends could've hooked her up dozens of times with different guys. Secondly...I was told that everything I have done for her, in any way possible..Is not considered love to her. Talk about telling someone something..And your complete motivation for just about anything, just got thrown out the window! So she then decides to sleep in the room across the hallway now! Haven't spoken really in like 3 days.

Today at work I get handed a letter. Thought it may be the quarterly bonus we get. Fuck no! It a writ for wage garnishments. At Walmart I only make just under a grand a month(before taxes)! So when all is said and done, I make about 770 or so. I was planning on looking for a second job anyhow. But this just reinforces it!!!

Grudge sex and a smoke seem appropriate right about now!

 0206    2009-02-06 05:18:49 ET
Got the beast back last nite. After 3 1/2 weeks without transportation! The part still isn't in. *Shakes head....So It'll be here sometime next week. Was tired of trying to find a ride(don't wanna piss off any co-workers), or walking the 2 1/2 miles to work, and back everyday!

Had mentioned to the lady, that it would be nice to go to the movies tonite or tomorrow evening. She said she had plans both days, with a "girls nite out" thingy. So I guess that completely fucks my birthday up! I'm also scheduled to work on my birthday as well. Oh well. Did I expect anything else?

Joined facebook for shit and giggles. Found some old school mates and friends that aren't on other sites. So that made a dull week refreshing.

 Birthdays    2009-01-23 22:53:39 ET
Reading a friends blog. I forgot I was turning 36 next month. Fuck! 36! Shite!!!! I figured by now in life I'd have at least 2 or 3 kids(*have the fun is the practice), a decent stable job.Throw all that out the window.

When I use to do some serious clubbing with Gage and others. Birthdays were about finding the designated drivers for the night. And whatever happened. Just happened. Alki poured freely from bartender friends.Getting great hugs from friends and strangers(*Hopefully they were hot? Refresh my memory!).Waking up the next moring next to a hottie. Or smiling to yourself, that last night was fucking awesome. Because your crew was with you.

Now it's about. Do I have too work on that day? Will anyone remember? Will mom send some clean socks as a gift?(*Note:As you get older. Clean clothing without holes are a friggin godsend!).Will my lady remember?(*She didn't remember until mid April sometime. Didn't even get a friggin card or hug!!!).Is birthday sex on the agenda?(*Not last year either....I bet, With a puff and wheez, I would ejaculate cobwebs at this point!). Then thoughts turn to vanity. Do I look my age? Is the grey....errr...silver prominent this year? Is the tummy ready for the dicky-do club?(*That's when the tummy sticks out more than the dicky do!).And the list of personal thoughts ramble on.

What I want for my b-day besides more ink is....

A stero for my car.
An accupunture session, and a full massage.
And someone who gives a shit about relationships!

 Day 2....    2009-01-21 12:24:29 ET
Awoke with a smashing migrane above the brow. Felt like someone kick me in the head.Day 2 without my car.

The mechanics called me today. They fixed the ruptured coolant line in the rear of the engine. Which happened to be for the heater, that I don't currently have. Some thermal switch needed to be replaced for 26 bucks. And a heater regulator that is impossible to find new. One was found in Phoenix, Arizona for 190 bucks....Used! It comes with a 6 month warrenty. I'm not a fan of used parts when it comes to something as vital as keeping my ass warm in the Winter! But financially, it is the route I will have to go. Then explained to my mechanic that the Caddie has no horn.And the wipers and relays work, but don't shoot any fluid to clean the windshield, yet the warning lite for topping off the wiper fluid comes on. They said they can probaly get the part in by Friday morning. Told them to go ahead and order the friggin part from Arizona. The sooner the better. So the grand total for all the above mentioned will run me about 410 bucks(give or take). Which isn't bad for an older car. Just wish I had a better paying job. But at least I can be thankful that I have one.
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 Loss......    2009-01-20 19:25:02 ET
Since my car is in the shop getting some coolant hoses, and the heater worked on. So I don't freeze on the way to work. I have been bumming rides to and from work.

Had to work the late shift last nite(10pm-7am). Found out that a dear friends house burnt down last nite. Her houses furnance exploded! She was at work when the event happened. She rushed home. To find that her husband rescued her 5 yr old son, and 8 yr old daughter. But sustained 4 th degree burns on 2/3 of his body(and face), while trying to save their 16 yr old daughter. The husband tried and tried, and was finally dragged away by firefighters, cause the house was ready to collapse! Found out the daughter was pleading for help, as she was burnt alive:( The fire trucks couldn't pump out enough water to quench the fire. As the water came from the hoses it froze to slush and ice as it hit the fire. Needless to say. Last nite, half of our crew went home, which left us 7 people to run the store. Our Walmart and 8 others are holding fundraisers for her family.

Been pondering all day. How would I feel. If I saw my daughter pleading for help, and was a grasp away from helping her. But couldn't:(

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