2004-11-25 08:37:26 ET
for god sake. the world is a seriously fucked up place. and i'm not going elaborate on that. this day just keeps getting crazier

 ...    2004-11-25 07:42:25 ET
today was the craziest experience of my life. We are at freedom rest on a little saxophone quartet tour. We played at jazz at different chowhalls for thanksgiving today to show our fellow troops that we are in full support of them. While we were at Camp Outlaw, a rocket landed about 100 feet from us and detonated. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced! It hit some ammo and started cooking off rounds! The blast killed 4 and wounded 9. We were scheduled to play around the wards of the hospital next. It was moving to play for all the soldiers there. I tried to hold back tears. Seeing all my brothers-in-arms wounded. Then they wheeled in the wounded from the blast while we were standing there playing! It was the most horrible experience i've ever been through.

 blow'd up    2004-11-24 07:42:03 ET
So, the other night, 10 or 12 rockets flew into our camp at the same time while i was walking back to my hooch with my buddy. Most of them air-detonated, but these guys were good. and they are getting better. I thought we were done for. They were extremely close! We ran to a bunker but the attack stopped before we got there.

 in retrospect    2004-11-21 23:37:47 ET
I must appologize to everyone. My last posts were pretty hot. Yes, you are all entitled to your opinions. Its rough to take criticism over here, constructive or otherwise, because regardless of individual station, all of our emotions are running 180 miles an hour and the stress is incredible! I have never experienced anything like it. So, I am sorry for flying off the handle. Just to be truthful, I have no intention or desire to harm innocent people. I wish the death would stop on both sides. thats what we do in the military: "kill 'em all, let God sort em out" and "bomb the whole damn place" are just wild statements we use to express what we are going through and our contempt for it. I was not literal. I really don't want to harm the innocent people of this country. I just want the death to stop. Please accept my appology.

 the wound    2004-11-15 19:59:57 ET
I have been thinking a lot about what I've experinced. Its quite scary actually. I feel like a different person. Some say that war changes people. I have to agree. I have changed a lot, some for the better some for the worse. I have grown a lot in my faith out here, but also, I have endured emotional turmoil that is unfortunately inevitable with a situation such as this and will probably bare the burdon for life. There are many areas of my life that have been resolved, but there are also areas of my life that this conflict has shown me that will never have a resolution. Some thoughts/feelings and issues will be forever with me. I don't believe anyone can avoit it in some fashion...I have become a casualty of war.

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