2004-07-19 11:57:36 ET I want to have the warm fuzzies about someone. I want to have fun. I want to fall in love at least once. ramblings mild poem format. Written April 8th at 1:24am I've never been in love I don’t know what it's like I wonder if I want it Or if I will ever find it Maybe people like me weren’t meant to fall in love I don't really know It hurts more than I let on I wish I wasn’t human I wish I were just this I want to be a robot So I cant feel the hurt I see people in love everyday It’s hard to watch them I just smile and go on with my day I’m rhyming now but not for real I feel as if I am missing pieces Like I am just an unfinished puzzle Maybe that some day someone Will help me find all the pieces Who knows for sure? If some of the pieces even exist I don’t, you don’t Only God knows and he is not talking At least not out loud for any one to hear You never know what is there Until you go looking for it I suppose that’s how it works Unfinished until the day you die That day the last puzzle piece is added Finishing you and life is done I hope I find my pieces I don’t want to live forever Just long enough to experience life May be have children And watch and see if they can do what they want. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING ELSE.. a real poem from last year november Living life so lost and scared Feeling the need to be come prepared Wanting to feel the freedom with in Only to find the terror of where I’ve been Soullessly wandering through the ruins of my life Trying to find out how to defeat strife Hating all of what I have become Spinning so fast my body goes numb Wondering when this will all end Finding only no reason to bend Living in fear of what must be Realizing my only enemy is me So what am I to you, friend or foe? The question so simple, but never to know Now this is the life I have chose to live All to realize, that love is like a sieve Forever forgotten in my bricked up heart The wall I’ve built won’t allow us to start. 5 comments

what in the world

2004-07-15 12:57:35 ET I swear something is missing. I can’t yet figure out what it is but I know some thing is not quite right with everything I am. If this makes any sense at all. Something is gone, where did it go, and why don’t I know what the hell it is? Why does it do that, by it I mean my brain. Bah to the brain. just to ad some fun. You are the X! What Punk Symbol are You? brought to you by Quizilla 13 comments

2004-07-14 15:49:53 ET Congratulations! You're a black velvet! What Drink Are You? brought to you by Quizilla 5 comments

hear is some of me and my life

2004-07-13 22:25:32 ET Well looking for a job sucks. I have an interview on Saturday at 1:00pm at a place called Inspired Healing. It is a receptionist job, I really hope I get the job, I need the work so bad, I am going insane here. Maybe I shouldn’t have move back. I am causing so much mental stress on everyone, including myself. I just wish I could be told what to do, and just do it. I don’t want to think for myself right now. Bah to self-awareness and free will. Ha. I never though I would say that, well not unless I was joking. And I sort of am, in a way, I wonder what life would have been like had I never moved to Arizona, just stayed in Washington state and went to the same school as my friends from then. I may have met Rikki a lot earlier than I did, considering she went to the middle school I would have gone to. But would I even be the same person, would I be preppy or still the weirdo I am now? I would hope I would have been a weirdo, because I enjoy being who I am, well most of the time any way. I need to get out and have some fun, on the 26th I am going to go see The Killers it should be fun. I hope so any way. 23 comments

2004-07-02 21:28:27 ET I NEED TO GET A JOB.. THEN GO BACK TO SCHOOL.. THEN START DATING AGAIN.. THEN GET MY ASS A NEW CAR.. YEAH 10 comments

DO IT DOIT

2004-06-29 05:07:41 ET WISH Dawn A HAPPY FRIGGEN BIRTHDAY 2 comments

So Be It

2004-05-28 09:14:58 ET Well life has been, lets say, interesting. Hard, but interesting none the least, hey that’s life, Right? I don’t know really. I lost my job; I was “let go” as my boss put it. Well fuck that and fuck him woo hoot. I am moving back down to Tucson, mostly because I am tired of the sloppiness of Amanda and her boyfriend. Bah! He doesn’t even live there and he is going to be there ‘till after father’s day. So I am moving back to Tucson, plus I miss my folks a lot. And truth be-told, its better here then there, except that Tempe has a torrid and Tucson doesn’t but I will live. I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. YAY, I am going to get an apartment by myself, I have never lived by myself, always had a roommate or two. It should be interesting. So, I need to go visit Rikki, I miss her more than I can put to words. And I want to go visit Ryan because it would be so much fun, to randomly go and met some one. And Jessica, i love her and i miss her. Well when I can think of more to say I will post again. I love and miss you all, Crys 7 comments

Alright everyone

2004-05-12 06:27:09 ET I am still alive... See my still aliveness. well I am now unemployed. GODDAMMIT. CIRCLE K SUCKS ASS! never work there. I am heading of to Palm Springs tomorrow. and i am still trying to talk amanda in to making a day Trip up to RIKKI. because i miss her SO SO immencly that i should yell at amanda to do it any way. BUt yeah.. Um lots a crap i wil live. I am just not going to whine about it all the time. 17 comments

2004-04-15 23:06:00 ET Think you know everything about me? Take the "How Well Do You Know StarTrasher?" quiz I created on Tickle and see how you score. Just click (or copy and paste) this link and you'll be taken to my quiz. http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=HMWyIxjQ.lA7pEk-& StarTrasher 12 comments

2004-04-06 15:49:50 ET IM STILL ALIVE AND MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY CAKES! 13 comments

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