2004-07-19 11:57:36 ET

I want to have the warm fuzzies about someone.
I want to have fun.
I want to fall in love at least once.


ramblings mild poem format. Written April 8th at 1:24am

I've never been in love
I don’t know what it's like
I wonder if I want it
Or if I will ever find it
Maybe people like me weren’t meant to fall in love
I don't really know
It hurts more than I let on
I wish I wasn’t human
I wish I were just this
I want to be a robot
So I cant feel the hurt
I see people in love everyday
It’s hard to watch them
I just smile and go on with my day
I’m rhyming now but not for real
I feel as if I am missing pieces
Like I am just an unfinished puzzle
Maybe that some day someone
Will help me find all the pieces
Who knows for sure?
If some of the pieces even exist
I don’t, you don’t
Only God knows and he is not talking
At least not out loud for any one to hear
You never know what is there
Until you go looking for it
I suppose that’s how it works
Unfinished until the day you die
That day the last puzzle piece is added
Finishing you and life is done
I hope I find my pieces
I don’t want to live forever
Just long enough to experience life
May be have children
And watch and see if they can do what they want.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING ELSE.. a real poem
from last year november


Living life so lost and scared
Feeling the need to be come prepared
Wanting to feel the freedom with in
Only to find the terror of where I’ve been
Soullessly wandering through the ruins of my life
Trying to find out how to defeat strife
Hating all of what I have become
Spinning so fast my body goes numb
Wondering when this will all end
Finding only no reason to bend
Living in fear of what must be
Realizing my only enemy is me
So what am I to you, friend or foe?
The question so simple, but never to know
Now this is the life I have chose to live
All to realize, that love is like a sieve
Forever forgotten in my bricked up heart
The wall I’ve built won’t allow us to start.





5 comments

what in the world
2004-07-15 12:57:35 ET

I swear something is missing. I can’t yet figure out what it is but I know some thing is not quite right with everything I am.
If this makes any sense at all.
Something is gone, where did it go, and why don’t I know what the hell it is? Why does it do that, by it I mean my brain. Bah to the brain.



just to ad some fun.



You are the X!


What Punk Symbol are You?
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13 comments

2004-07-14 15:49:53 ET


Congratulations! You're a black velvet!


What Drink Are You?
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5 comments

hear is some of me and my life
2004-07-13 22:25:32 ET

Well looking for a job sucks. I have an interview on Saturday at 1:00pm at a place called Inspired Healing. It is a receptionist job, I really hope I get the job, I need the work so bad, I am going insane here. Maybe I shouldn’t have move back. I am causing so much mental stress on everyone, including myself. I just wish I could be told what to do, and just do it. I don’t want to think for myself right now. Bah to self-awareness and free will. Ha. I never though I would say that, well not unless I was joking. And I sort of am, in a way, I wonder what life would have been like had I never moved to Arizona, just stayed in Washington state and went to the same school as my friends from then. I may have met Rikki a lot earlier than I did, considering she went to the middle school I would have gone to. But would I even be the same person, would I be preppy or still the weirdo I am now? I would hope I would have been a weirdo, because I enjoy being who I am, well most of the time any way. I need to get out and have some fun, on the 26th I am going to go see The Killers it should be fun. I hope so any way.
23 comments

2004-07-02 21:28:27 ET

I NEED TO GET A JOB..
THEN GO BACK TO SCHOOL..
THEN START DATING AGAIN..
THEN GET MY ASS A NEW CAR..
YEAH
10 comments

DO IT DOIT
2004-06-29 05:07:41 ET



WISH Dawn A HAPPY FRIGGEN BIRTHDAY
2 comments

So Be It
2004-05-28 09:14:58 ET

Well life has been, lets say, interesting. Hard, but interesting none the least, hey that’s life, Right? I don’t know really. I lost my job; I was “let go” as my boss put it. Well fuck that and fuck him woo hoot. I am moving back down to Tucson, mostly because I am tired of the sloppiness of Amanda and her boyfriend. Bah! He doesn’t even live there and he is going to be there ‘till after father’s day. So I am moving back to Tucson, plus I miss my folks a lot. And truth be-told, its better here then there, except that Tempe has a torrid and Tucson doesn’t but I will live. I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. YAY, I am going to get an apartment by myself, I have never lived by myself, always had a roommate or two. It should be interesting. So, I need to go visit Rikki, I miss her more than I can put to words. And I want to go visit Ryan because it would be so much fun, to randomly go and met some one. And Jessica, i love her and i miss her. Well when I can think of more to say I will post again. I love and miss you all,
Crys
7 comments

Alright everyone
2004-05-12 06:27:09 ET

I am still alive... See my still aliveness.
well I am now unemployed. GODDAMMIT. CIRCLE K SUCKS ASS! never work there.
I am heading of to Palm Springs tomorrow. and i am still trying to talk amanda in to making a day Trip up to RIKKI. because i miss her SO SO immencly that i should yell at amanda to do it any way.
BUt yeah..
Um lots a crap i wil live.
I am just not going to whine about it all the time.
17 comments

2004-04-15 23:06:00 ET

Think you know everything about me? Take the "How Well Do You Know StarTrasher?" quiz I created on Tickle and see how you score.



Just click (or copy and paste) this link and you'll be taken to my quiz.
http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=HMWyIxjQ.lA7pEk-&

StarTrasher
12 comments

2004-04-06 15:49:50 ET

IM STILL ALIVE AND MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY CAKES!
13 comments

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