| Whatever. 2005-03-24 22:34:08 ET |
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Well, I’ve been quite slacker lately. No rehearsals until Monday, but I’ll keep practicing home, there are some really difficult parts I need to work on.
I’ve also been reading more on harmony and counterpoint. Just for my amusement. I might learn to compose something more seriously.
Tomorrow starts the trilogy of The Godfather on A&E. I must not miss it.
I promised my self I’d start to draw again. I just wish to know when... enough of procrastinating! I must start doing something tomorrow.
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| break it 2005-03-19 11:32:07 ET |
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Vacations, finally, it’s the few times I was really waiting to get out of school to vacations because I was really getting sick of many exams, lab practices, reports and such, I was somehow like ‘alternate current, I started bad, then I was doing well, then again going really bad, almost in all subjects, fuck, I’m such a failure. So, I have to weeks of break from school. I’ll dedicate some to music, some to drawing (again) and some to reread some stuff that I didn’t understand from school.
A while ago I had some discussion with my mother, fuck, it really pissed me the fuck off like hell, fortunately I’m not too extroverted to do something mad or I was about to break something, fuck, why to people have to behave like fucks sometime? Bitchass, I fucking wish I could go away really far and let go stuff like this behind.
Well, fuck, I’m still sort of annoyed to keep writing.
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| Why am I here? I don't fit anywhere. 2005-03-12 22:37:33 ET |
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I’m a student, I’m always craving to learn something I like.
I’m constantly depressed, or I’m either way apathetic.
I don’t find amusing many things most of people do.
I normally wear black clothes.
I don’t believe in god or any religion.
I’m not attractive, I’m not amusing, I don’t know how to please someone or how to make someone like me.
I don’t have any really close friends; I don’t have enemies either really.
I normally like music most of people don’t know much of.
I think I’m agoraphobic; I really start to get obnoxious around a crowd.
I’m not very attached to animals, I don’t find amusing having pets. Only once started to like a cat but that’s all.
I’ve wished death to some people and don’t regret it.
I wish I had a partner... I’m terribly shy, and boring; I never know what to say.
I’m constantly indecisive, always answering back “I don’t know”.
I don’t like watching my face.
I don’t like patriotism it’s ridiculous to be judged by your nationality.
I found really stupid being vegetarian by the sole reason because “it’s bad eating animals”.
I’m such a dreamer, always imaging stuff, imaging that I was successful at something.
I like mathematics, drawing, painting, music.
I’m such a fool. I can’t speak to a girl without getting nervous. I’m so shy, stupid, boring or either someone else gets in the way.
I might have a romanticist, noble, gentle personality sometimes, and others I’m a cheap vulgar coldhearted insane scumbag.
I’m always afraid of saying something wrong or afraid of hurting someone, mainly that's why I'm so quiet and shy.
I don’t believe in any supernatural bullshit or spirituality stuff.
Sometimes I wish I died right way, sometimes I wish I could live long just to keep learning more stuff.
I’m fucking tired; as by described above I don’t have much qualities to be liked for.
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| think of something else 2005-03-01 19:27:49 ET |
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It seems as if I only intended to write here once a week, but it’s mainly because I’m busy doing a lot of works and homework for school. I thought this semester wasn’t going to be that heavy... well wrong; Labs in all subjects, thus a lot of lab practices and reports, damn reports.
Today I had an exam in which I think I did well, but I'm, always prepared for disgraces, yet I think I did well on this one. By the other hand, tomorrow is another exam of another subject which I should be studying right now, but I'm either feeling misarable and procrastinating while listening music, or I'm already resigning (by one reason we call this profesor the "knife"). ah.. fuck it.
Other than that, sometimes it is me who just don’t know what to write about. I guess I’m a man of few words. Really, I just never know what to talk about.
Why is it that the best ideas come to me when I’m in the shower? Damn it.
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| huh 2005-02-21 20:01:46 ET |
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It’s been long since didn’t show up here. It’s just that sometimes I’m too busy, others I’m not in the mood or too tired, apathy mostly, maybe depressed too, whatever the pessimist mood it may be.
I don’t feel like I’m doing very well at school, it’s my fault I know; maybe I’m not made to completely be an engineer. While there are some subject I do enjoy and like learning more about its math equations, there are some other that I don’t understand quite well, and also some teacher, yes, I admit on saying that every time bad teachers like them give horrible classes I fucking wish they died in front of me, bah, I know you’re not supposed to wish someone’s death, but heh I’m a fuck up, I’ve wished deaths and so much anger since long ago so I don’t care.
It does amazes me that just two days ago I was told that another cousin is going to be a dad; he got pregnant his girlfriend. Damn he’s just 18 years old. About 2 or 3 years ago another cousin also did the same and had to marry at his 18 years old. Now this other cousin, also at the same age, we don’t know yet if he’s getting marry or what. It amazes me, how just about 2 years ago I still used to go to his house to play videogames, and now he’s going to be a father; how quick they grow up.
Damn shaving razors, it’s easier to get cut when you don’t want to. Hah.
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