Sick the first day of the year.    2005-01-01 21:29:41 ET
My parents got back, this time I did went with some relatives for the new yearís dinner, only because my mother asked me to go, I really didnít enjoyed much. Iím still not very comfortable spending time with family and relatives.

What I way to receive the first day of the year: I started feeling really bad today. I woke up at 9:00am went to bed again at 9:30am, woke up again at 1:00 pm and had a stomachache, like if either hadnít eaten in days or like if had eaten a lot, it was strange, yet I felt more of a hole to fill, so I ate something but still didnít feel so well, so I went to bed at 3:00pm; I woke up at 5:00pm and no I was having a terrible headache, I thought a first it was just some bad dizziness of waking up, I watched some tv, but my stomach and head were still aching, I was feeling worse, like having high temperature or something, I couldnít take it anymore so I went to the closest store to buy some aspirins because the ones we had in the house had expired (over a year!). I toke the new aspirins and went to bed again at 8:30pm, then I woke up at 11:30pm, I started feeling a lot better now, I watched some tv, still not very comfortable though, Iím still feeling some tired and with a bit of headache, but definitely Iím quite better than hours ago, I felt like dying right in my bed, I couldnít or wanted to move. Well, may this show how the 2005 is going to be? Ugh, damn, being sick the first day of the year, only to me could have happened.

 .∑į∑∑į∑.    2004-12-27 23:55:28 ET
Nothing new actually. I spent the so called Christmas alone.
Uhm, damn, I was just thinking what I was going to write about a while ago, but I forgot it.
I need someone to walk over me back.
It's 4:00 am. ...again.
Iíve been eating only twice per day, yesterday I only ate once. Today I did eat twice. Wow, thatís so relevant.
Why do I even bother?
I had a dream of a girl saying her some relatives died so she hugged me. She hugged me, so it really was a dream.
So, Iíve been continuing the drawing of a wolf. I downloaded Carmina Burana again.
With almost all people of the orchestra I always behave like Iím just plain content with them or something, sometimes it even hurts laughing or smiling to them so they donít think Iím ok. Perhaps this Ďjournalí is the only place where I really write how I feel.
Whatever. Someone please walk over my back.

 handwriting....    2004-12-23 20:37:27 ET
I took a test ( that itís supposed to determine your personality by analyzing your handwriting. I must tell you Iím not very confident about this sort of things, Iíve never like psychological stuff that claims to predict someoneís behavior that easily. Whatever, they did accurate in a few spots of me, not in everything, just in some. Where the results:

[...Ulises has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Ulises fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Ulises has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people...]
(False! This is way totally wrong, do not take this for true about me! I'm the very oposite of it, I'm even afraid to ask to sit down at a strange place or someone else's home, I'd never invade other's property like that).
[Ulises is selective when picking friends. He does not trust everyone. He has a select group of people that are truly close to him, usually two or three. He is careful when choosing his inner circle of friends]
(very true).
[Ulises is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt...]
(often true, but not for everyone, I'm selective to who be like that).
[Ulises is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem...]
(totally false, I don't have anything to esteem about myself, I'm always depressed, but I do try to be a bit organized with 'certain' things).
[Because Ulises has zigzag'ed shaped 'm' and 'n' hump, Ulises is an analytical thinker...]
(very true).
[Ulises will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not...]
(No!, well, mainly no! just sometime or just with some people).
[Ulises will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity...]
(Naah!!, well just when... nah!)
[...He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them..., He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation..., He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly...]
(All True!).
[...When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Ulises writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Ulises will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties...]
(Also true).
[...has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available...]
(I didn't understand this at all, I just know I have the worst luck on earth for.. you know, meeting people).

As you can seen there were some very obvious stuff (like writing with tiny letters) but some other really wrong, hah, I'm not that easy to be psychoanalyzed. Besides, all the questions were made with lower-case letter, and I always tend to write everything with capital letters; strange, not the same whe typing with the keyboard.

 Drawing again.    2004-12-19 22:54:39 ET
Well, as I said, Iím going to start drawing again and a few days ago I decided that Iím going to draw the main characters of the Worst Witch series and the first one was Mildred. I picked an easy portrait to starts because Iíve been to much time without exercising the drawing, so it was quite a very simple drawing, even though it didnít really come up as I expected, I can see I still have difficulty on focusing the proper dimensions of the figure Iím to draw; that is, I find easier doing the shading than the actual figures drawing. Of course that the shades make it look more realistic, but still, Iím not content (I never am) with the result. Anyways, the drawing is in the galleries. What I did should have looked like this. The drawing in deed may look a bit like a person but still lacks of looking truly like her, thus I'm not satisfied... Iíll have to keep practicing.

My next drawing wonít be another of those characters, but itíll be a wolf by request of a friend (as I said on the previous post), even though Iím not very familiarized with drawing animals, Iíll do my best.

 Polyphony    2004-12-17 21:51:22 ET
Today I did another try for the scanner to work, and to my surprise, it did work fine, but I didnít get to scan the drawing I made a couple days ago, because I was to do something else, but Iíll surely scan it and show it here. Talking about drawing, BloodyKisses asked me to do a drawing for her, and Iíll do it with pleasure since sheís from the few first ones that talked to me when I first joined; she requested me to draw a wolf and Iíll immediately start tomorrow.

Today I went to see the concert of the Camerata. It had been long since I didnít go see them. Beautiful. Today they played purely Bach. Nothing but Bach. What else could have been more satisfactory to a huge Bach fan? As I have said before, Iím a huge admire of Bachís music, and to our delightful they played:
Concerto for Violin & Oboe in Dm BWV 1060r
Orchestral Suite No. 2 for Flute in Bm BWV 1067
Brandenburg Concerto No. 5 in D BWV 1050
Even though I love these concertos a lot, the Brandenburg one is the one I was dying to hear live. Iíve heard it a lot of times from the mp3 and cds, but I always wanted to see the live performance of it, and it was breathtaking! Really, what an incredible concert! That was just plain beautiful! It rocked the hell out of the whole theater. I was totally thrilled when the orchestra and the two soloist (flute and violin) keep in silence and then the harpsichord takes the majestic role of its solo, showing the best of Bachís virtuosity polyphony with this cadenza starting with a brilliant and fresh subjects accomplishing a educated harmony, and passing through mysterious arpeggios, followed by an impressive attack of furious notes with an encouraging speed that raises up your adrenaline, to then finalize with the tutti of the orchestra. No doubt of one of Bachís whims to expose his genius. Itís been more than 300 years and nowdays composers still kneel down to him. He is the true master of polyphony.

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