Da Capo.    2004-08-16 19:25:04 ET
Iíve been listening again to some metal music Iíve downloaded, I know that some of these I just downloaded for being curious and just having something as background music while Iím doing something else.
Decapitated Ė Nihility
Hatebreed Ė Perseverance
Dark Lunacy Ė Forget me not
Of course the 2 first ones Iíve hear regularly just, as I said, considerably just as an amusing background music, I know many people in here donít like metal that much, and I admit I wouldnít call it formally Music, I donít know how to explain it, but I just like its ambient of noisy angst-ful whatever sounds, Iím aware why many people donít like it, but I feel like I donít need to listen it as Ďmusicí but just something that I enjoy. Yet, an exception is found in Dark Lunacyís music I heard; damn, that one terrific album! Iím seriously, now talking as a musician, that album really is something to listen carefully, they do seem to know some elemental harmony tools, especially on the minor field, it has a damn enjoyable melodic tunes and fine accompaniment, tragic and depressive atmospheres richen by a well constructed harmony. I do recommend that album a lot.

As for classical, Iíve been tasting again from several periods; Iím still digesting-hearing the six Brandenburg concertos and the well tempered klavier books of J.S. Bach, and enjoying some of Mozartís known symphonies, and still canít refuse the admiration of some Tchaikovskyís works and the modern Khachaturian sound of his Masquerade Suite (which I love the first movement, the waltz).
*sighs* Weíll have concerts, this upcoming weekend, Iím not sure how will it result, but I love music, itís some of the few things that gives me a reason to keep breathing.

 Edge    2004-08-11 18:41:01 ET
Well, it has been very long since I didnít showed up here, sometimes because I was tired, but mainly because whenever I had something to write, at the moment I sit in front the computer me mind goes blank and had nothing to say, and instead I browsed for other pages about other stuff.
Iím back to school, Iíve realized how some people has gone, a friend and I were wondering hoe many of us are going to be left at the last semester, or even yet, how many are going to finish the career. Heh, and to think that the only thing that motivated to study a career was that I was still interested in only learning more mathematics for fun, but not for doing research works, lab practices and such, I as solely naÔvely interested in solving new math problems. Bleh, Iím a fucking disgrace.

As about the orchestra thing, well, I keeps the same shit things. The director now said something about not welcoming students with piercings, tattoos or any junkie or goth orientated people. Thatís a fucking joke, bitchass motherfucker, what a fucking bullshit is that? Thatís fucking discrimination. The last year, there still was a friend who was a fine goth lady and his boyfriend with a piercing and green-dyed hair, both playing in the orchestra and everything was ok. Now that many of the grown ups have gone, the ambient is a more family-orientated atmosphere, my ass, so I look like the spooky one just because I wear black and donít smile and laugh as much as them. But of curse, in this city were if you dare to have a tattoo or piercing or just be weird it almost means youíre a criminal. Bah.

Iíve realized that the precise moments of anguish in my life are the very edges of my awareness, that is, just before going to sleep, and just after waking up. In those precise moments I wouldnít mind having someone shooting my head or fall straight to hell. Am I just really malfunctioning my mind? I never get to have a peaceful day, in my mind.

 always in the wrong place    2004-07-31 22:03:14 ET
Itís been about 4 times that the light goes off. The last one affected about 4 neighborhoods; I knew it because I walked out to the streets at midnight there werenít any light in a long range. I donít like being without electricity, I crave for technology and electric stuff.

Thereís just one week left and then back to school. I need to buy a new bag pack or something because this one is just too torn.

Iíve had again some thoughtful ideas, sometimes, when I quote something to a friend he says Iím in philosophical mood. Heh, I guess I like being like that, but I come up with these crazy ideas at improper moments, or when I have no one to talk.

 In the dark the mind will ripe.    2004-07-27 22:26:22 ET
Last Sunday the energy went off at night, and... I didnít know what to do, so boring Iíve been used to always be with the computer at nights and going to bed late. Finally the energy came back at 2:30 am but it only lasted half hour and it went off again, so I finally went to sleep. For the next day the energy had come again.

Someone asked me what have I been doing this vacations, and I noticed that Iíve mostly been: playing music, reading about music, writing music and listening music. So I do like music, yet Iíd like buy a keyboard and try to learn piano. I still which I had more dedication to drawing; Iím such procrastinator, when am I finally going to sit and dedicate to draw something again? I received an email a few days ago of some girl who said she looked into this sk.net gallery and saw my drawings, and asked me about my ďtechniqueĒ for drawing. I mostly tried to explain how I do for the shading with a regular pen.

There was a time (still some months ago) when I couldnít remember when bathing if I had already applied shampoo or not... I get distracted with my own thoughts so easily, I quite become a lonely philosopher all nights.

Quote: ďIf you cry for losing the sun, your tears wonít let you see the starsĒ. ĖMafalda (Quino).

 How can I find beauty in a stormy rain?    2004-07-24 22:33:38 ET
Heh... I constantly get sad or depressed, thatís an easy thing to do with the life I have, but at least today something felt nice, which was having a hell of s rainy storm at 6 pm, I wish there could be a whole 365-day year of cloudy days in a row thatíd be nice.
I received an email about some girl who happened to see some of my drawings in this subcultures.net gallery and asked about how I did them. Well, I havenít dedicate enough time lately to drawing, but I did told her how I usually draw. Plus some documental videos Iíve seen lately on TV about some painters and some mysteries about DaVinci have made me starve fro drawing again, but I canít seem to find the proper inspiration when Iím sitting on the desk trying to draw something... I get too distracted.

Iíll found another page for music harmony, and another for counterpoint, Iíll be damn trying to read as much as I can understand to keep ďcomposingĒ some midis; I can see totally see why it really takes of a whole career to be a composer, Iím blowing my brains out trying to make a simple Fugue and I hardly got to make a short Cannon, whatever, Iíll try to keep doing something whenever I find myself inspired.

So many times I have a lot of shit I feel like posting here but I end either forgetting it donít knowing to say it. I canít be a poet, but damn I always have a tormented mind. Itís all about mentality. I canít be a poet but a mediocre philosopher through the way of arts.

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