Under the mind.    2002-08-18 21:30:14 ET
Today, I went again to listen the quartet Amadeus playing at the museum, it was nice. I recognized two of the melodies they played, one was the ďDivertimento No. 1Ē of Mozart and ďAirĒ of Bach, I liked them. Then I came back home, ate and slept. When I woke up I started to paint more while listening a cd. Then watched some tv, had dinner, more tv and logged in to internet, so here Iím posting this.

Soon there will be a concert that is supposed to be more elegance than the others because they are now offering a concert with a very famous violinist named Stefan Milenkovic, playing a ďStradivariusĒ of 1712 (an old violin), ...so I guess the entrance cost will be much higher than the others and Iím not sure if Iíll be able to go. Weíll see.

I was remembering how I once was bored and started drawing a bunch of circles, squares and curved lines all around and then, over it I decided to draw something more focused and I donít know how I ended up by drawing this:

A girl, I didnít know why I draw her, she doesnít look like anyone I know, though I liked the face I drew and kept it. Iím not sure why I did it, if that was something a bit of my subconscious mind... if it was something I desired so much to see... I donít know, whatever.

By the mean time, Iíll keep drawing, painting, playing, learning, ...whatever.

 Strange, but yes, funny.    2002-08-17 20:27:19 ET
Well, uh, I don't have much in mind to say but I did have fun watching the following:
Visit from an Angel (Ha ha!)
Love for Him (Ha ha ha!)

I don't remember something interesting to say right now, maybe I'll come up with something later, hours maybe, when I feel more inspired to write I guess.

 Sade, sadistic or sad.    2002-08-15 22:42:57 ET
What can I say? This internet connection is killing me!!! Mutherfucker! Work! Goddamn shit! I donít know why sometimes just suddenly stops working for minutes, then it starts working again, fuck it! Even sometimes it seems like if it was connected but it isnít running and suddenly the phone rings, what the fuck? The computer says Iím still connected by modem but the phone is ringing which means itís no longer connected. Fuck this whole shit! ...ok, ok, calm down... mmh.

So, today (well, yesterday, to be precise [because it is already Friday now]) I went to an exposition of art; a gallery of several artistsí works that were dedicated to Marques de Sade, that writer. So the works shown there were mostly based in erotic, sadistic, fear, sad feelings and such, nevertheless not many were as you think, most of them were ...you know... some few ones very abstract, another ones very... creative? Well, two drawings (yes, drawings, not painting like the others) were from an artist called Gerardo Beuchot. His drawings were about two ladies naked, one ďinsideĒ a plant with spikes (not a cactus, the other thing, I forgot the name), and the other one had that same plant between her legs, but more than that, what I liked the most was the way he added the shadows and lights, and the fidelity of reality in the picture (not like the others that are so ďmodern artĒ that everything is abstract now), I mean, thatís exactly the thing I liked to see, I loved it, I stared at it for several minutes more than the others. And of course, as I always complain about events such these, itís again that many of the people were a whole bunch of preppy assholes and snobs so fucking irritating, ah fuck! Wearing their conceited clothes and shit! Fuck them! I really could type too much about it, but... Iím kind of tired now, ho well.

And for the other side, I was thinking about how is it that so many times I want to write some stuff here but I always forgot it, and it is when I go to sleep that I recall the amount of ideas, sorrows and/or laments... for this is (in part) that I joined subkultures.net, but is mostly when I go to bed when I start creating ideas and ideas to describe, ...when I most need a hug, when longings of falling in love recall, when I squeeze my pillow, when I feel many other feelings, when itís dark.

 The hypocrite speaks again.    2002-08-14 13:54:42 ET
A while ago I tried to pain again. Painting the sketch I left here when I went to Dallas, and while trying to paint I realized how hard is it.

The painting I did in Dallas was not like this here. I mean, there I was using acrylic paints and they dry very fast, even though they smell a bit nice, I reThmember I barely could slide the brush a few times because the paint dried too fast that I couldnít make fade effects so well, thatís one reason why I didnít like how it turned up at the end. Another thing was that the fucking paints change a little their colors when they dried, the kind of the darker, to another problem was that when I mixed several tones to get the color I wanted and I ran out of it, while I was preparing the other mixture, the fucking paint already placed in the wall got darker, so the new mixture (that should be the same color) I wasnít sure if it was the same tone or not, I had to guess what tone will it get when I was going to paint it in the wall, so this is why in there turned up with some different tones of one same color, for example, the gray, in some places it got darker and in some other it got lighter. I donít know if that same problem Iíll have at home or not, but now the problem here is that with oil paints it takes them to dry too long, so when I was ready to put the lighter tone of one color it started to mix in the previous placed and the Ďlight toneí started to vanish, so Iíll have to wait until the other one gets a bit more dried. The good thing about this is that it is easier to blur it and fade the colors, which I like. But hey, in case you havenít noticed, I am an AMATEUR, yes, with this painting at home it will be my third painting in my whole life and all by my own will, so feel totally free calling me rookie. So I must say that the Ďthingí I did in Dallas is horrible, really ugly shit; the main idea of the picture wasnít so bad, what it sucks is my work there, is totally a piece of shit, it seems like if a kid had done it, itís a mess.

And talking about rookies, as I mentioned previously, I bought finally a violin with the money I gained in Dallas, but, since I donít have other instrument in which I can take a sound as an example to tune the violin correctly, I canít practice for now, so Iíll wait to Saturday to come so Iíll get someone to tune it for me at the Art Institute so I can learn to do it by myself, I was barely able to place the bridge and the strings correctly (I think). The important for now is that I finally have this baby with me and I like it very much, so Iíll keep try doing my best in learning how to play in spite of my lameness to do anything.

The writing of the previous paragraphs puts me to think again if I chose the right career and why. I never feel confident about a decision. It seems Iíll always be the ďwhateverĒ guy.

 Eww...    2002-08-12 19:40:50 ET
Oh fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. ...blah. Iím just doing this because... so anyone may see how a loser looks like... whatever, I donít like looking to myself... I barely use the mirror for washing my face... so... I donít know if Iím going to keep this for a long while or not. Meantime, if, only if you really would like to see it... then:


Oh! I almost forgot it. If anyone interested in my piece of crap that I did (painted) that I mentioned in the previous entry, it is located in 3100 W. Northwest Highway Dallas, TX 75220, corner with 2909 Bachman Drive Dallas, Texas 75220. Now I really have to say that what I made there sucks so much ass, really, it doesn't worth anything, it sucks.

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