Give me another chance to do something "artsy".    2002-07-11 23:12:51 ET
Today, July 12 2002, I appear in the page #24 of listed by newest. So if there are in total 37, may I say now that Iím from the Ďfirstí half? Cool! While more and more users keep joining Iíll be one day from the eldest ones, heh.
Oh well, Iíve been very well encouraged to paint something. For long time Iíve been thinking in an angel I saw, which seems a renaissance angel playing the lute, but I was thinking in drawing the angel playing some electric guitar, seems amusing.

Anyway, something interesting may happen again for me. Yeh, the last thing I considered interesting to my own was when I posted 7 drawings for an art contest in my city, 5 of them are in my galleries, all of them except the Dark Pietŗ and the Cemetery because those are recent. Well in that occasion, they told us there were about 80 participants and only 25 were selected to show their works at the gallery, I WAS! Nevertheless I didnít win any of the three first places, but it was cool. Blah. Anyway, this time, some mister watched some of these draws and now wants me to go do Dallas, TX, to make him some sort of mural or painting, so maybe will go there in about a week to see what may I do. He plans to pay me the travel I think, though his sons arenít too mature yet, well... the eldest one is 16, I still may talk to him, the other two are still kids, whatever, I get along better with the mister, because heís somewhat funny. Even though, Iím not so sure what does he want me to draw of paint, he mentioned something about a museum and Aztec pictures, he does wonít feel too comfortable with my metalish/Goth passion I guess. Iíll see what I can do. Meantime I'm listening Dead Can Dance - Windfall which gives me alot to think with a peaceful mind.

 I want to paint, I can't because I'm not good!    2002-07-10 22:35:18 ET
Today, late evening, I went to another art exposition. This time they didnít serve us white wine like the other times; instead the only gave us some cheap beers and a few sodas, not even coke. I didnít got many snacks like the other times, I guess I delayed too much staring the works showed there, because when I finally went to the place where the snack where serving there were only a few, and the tastiest ones were out, so I only grabbed what was left and... ah, yes, no white wine this time, so I barely could drink a bit of beer, though I donít really like it that much... yeah, call me a pussy, I donít like too much bitter things, Iíve been too much into sweeeet stuff. There werenít many snobs like the last time either, so I could stand the ambient. So, then I finished looking again the art works and left. By my way O bought a coke and that was all, so Iím here now.

Watching all the paintings, draws and others, made feel so damn likely to paint something, but damn I'm not good, and I have only made one painting at oils, but I really was feeling so damn likely to paint at that same moment watching the works. My hand, my eyes, were almost ready to do something but it wasn't the correct place, well at least I've now dicided to go but a canvas tomorrow; I have many ideas I'd like to do but I can't seem to realize them by not diciding which should I do first. I was thinking in parodying something else (again), yeah I know, I haven't been to original, but I promise, I do promise I will come up with something original by me one day, like I said I have many ideas I'd like to realize.

Anyway, the artist, defunct now, that his works were showing there, was born the same year Coca-Cola was invented! Can you guess the year?

 I think I'll never get to be a musician. But I love music.    2002-07-09 00:32:50 ET
Fuck Iím shit at all. Yesterday and today I was searching in the internet for web pages with free music sheets, you know, because I have now like 5 months since I started taking violin lessons, and I wanted to practice/play some melodies Iíd like to play well when/if I learn to use more appropriately the instrument, but damn, itís so hard finding what I want! Ok, I find a page where there have some few melodies I like BUT they only let you download a CLIP, not the entire piece! So they may put you the same old excuse ďif you want the complete sheet, click here to order nowĒ Mmh I understand that nothing is for free, but, fucking shit, why does the page title says Ďfreeí then?.

Oh well, I did find some music sheets, specially from popular composers like Mozart and Bach, the only problem now is that all of them are for piano! Almost all of them! Due to piano is much Ďpopularí and supposedly Ďeasyí than violin... go wonder... just ask yourself from people you know if anyone plays an instrument, if too average, he/she plays guitar/bass/drums, if a bit more sophisticated then Piano or flute. Violin, violas, cellos and stuff seem to be more Ďsymphonicí huh? Anyway, the ones I was caring the most was for trying to find something of Danny Elfman, yes, Iím so in love of Batman and Edward Scissorhands themes, but I only found -as I said- a little clip and for piano of the Batman theme, the same found for O Fortuna of the Carmina Burana of Carl Orff, nevertheless I managed to play at least a part that was in the Sol key signature.

Ok, I guess I should save some money first if I want to buy a violin. The one I currently have the institute lend it to me. Then Iíll try to keep searching for music sheets. If anyone knows any reliable pages or know where to find Iíd be glad to know.

 I'm afraid to talk, I might say something stupid.    2002-07-07 13:46:01 ET
Today I went to a regional museum because in the auditorium a quartet was going to play chamber music. I stayed there, I listened, and again I got impressed of the passionate music.

Some interesting fact I noticed. While I was walking in the street suddenly some feather fell down to me. I didnít know where it came from, I didnít even look up to see if a bird passed by, how strange it was if like it had fell down slowly just so I could catch with my left hand. It was so pure white when I took it. I had it in my hands some time because I liked the way how it felt. Then, a while after I noticed how it got so dark gray. My hands werenít so filthy, I swear I washed my hands before going out. I started to think of how this was a metaphor of some things in my life. Sometimes the more I try to care for something I like the more I mistreat it, not on purpose. That, I think, was my own psychological reflection of why I was a shy kid, and still shy. When I do give a fuck about people I really donít give a shit, but when Iím interest in something Iím SO afraid of ruin it, so I just watch and listen.

 My poor Masterpiece    2002-07-05 14:26:18 ET
Oh well, I'm not angry any more. Ok, so I have just finished my most recent draw at 1:00 am. I need to say that this draw took me about 6 or 7 weeks in a row with two or three hours a day to finish it, I started almost at the same time I started the painting at oils. But this one I wanted to do it very detailed on it, besides the size of it was bigger than the others I did with a simple pen.

I have just submited to my galery at subkultures, so it's here if you miaght want to see it.

I had to resize it from the original scan because the limit size for uploading images at subkultures is 100 Kb, and the first scan was of 288 Kb. Anyway, in case you'd like to critize my modest work, you moght find useful if you see the original photo where I took it, which was from a page that SiS recomended me:

Oh well, I hope someone enjoys it.

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