2003-05-18 19:49:30 ET
Just below the surface
A mirror reflects
All the world reveils
A reciprication of reality
Harsh and painful

How many pains can one suffer
Before a savior comes

How many injustices can plague one
Before Justice prevails

Men who starve
Women who fall
Children who fade away
All suffering
All deprieved of relief

Look into the mirror
Just below the surface
Stare at their own reflection
Accepting thier own fate
With thier last shred of pride

While those well fed
One thier feet
Stare in disgust and disdain
Forgetting that those who stand tall
Fall harder
Than them who are already on the ground.


     2003-04-28 20:18:36 ET
I bought a new soul
From a fellow of the street
He said his name was Dom
He gave me a pretty good price

I took my brand new soul
Wore it like a hat
Take it off for sinning
Put it on as a Saint

I bought a new name
From a judge down the way
He spoke with style
He gave me my brand new name
To hide me from my past

I took my brand new name
And painted it on a wall
In big black words
So the world would know
I'm back in the game

Father sold me his blessing
I traded him my purity

Brother sold me a new purity
I gave him a pill

Sister says "Girl.
Why are you giving it all away?"

I say "Sister,
I've never given without recieving.
I got a brand new soul,
To save me from my sinning,
I got a brand new name,
To save me from my past,
I got a Father's Blessing,
It just cost me my purity,
I got purity anew,
It just cost me a fix.
Why worry about giving it away?
I'll get it back in the end."

Sister said "Girl,
Who's going to give you salvation?"

I say "Sister,
Only God can give salvation."

Sister says "Good girl,
go now and find God."

I say "Sister dear,
I've already found God.
He's down the street.
He blesses me with a fix.
Then he cast me out of his garden.
He showed me where to get my brand new soul,
my name, my blessing, my purity.
And when my life becomes worthless
He'll send out an angel to take me down."

Sister cries tears of blood,
Sister fears for my soul,
Sister don't cry no more,
There's a man down the street,
He'll sell me a whole new soul,
Whenever I need one new.

     2003-04-07 19:30:12 ET
Sailing on a ship
Just me and this crow

So lonely now
Just me and Black Bird

Sailing slow without a sail
No captain
No crew
Just me and Black Bird
That's all

He says "Where we going now"
But I could't answer him
My pretty Black Bird

How can you know where you're going
Without direction?

Little Black Bird,
Little Black Bird,
Show me the way
You always knew this sea better than I

Black Bird says
"You've always known the way.
I't up to you to get there.
Follow you're heart.
Follow your spirit, it will lead you there."

Little Black Bird flew away
But he'll be back someday
I'll find him when I get there
Someday when I find my way

 Spring Break    2003-03-24 05:33:36 ET
Well, it certainly was a strange, but enjoyable one. I didn't take any fabulous vacations or anything like that, mostly because I had to work for part of the break. Not only that, but I was sick for a good part of the week.
Last saturday a friend of mine came down from Tucson and I showed him around town and the bridge and a few other places neear here. Monday was Belly Dancing practice, much fun. Tuesday was more SCA activity. Wednesday I went to Bisbee during the day with Stephanie. We shopped and played like old biddies looking at all the antiques. It was fun "girl time".
Thursday and Friday was work from 8-4:30 with no break, not pleasant at all. But Thursday night was fun because I got to spend some good time with Lou and Jack (or Jackie as he now wants to be called). We went by this, supposed, creepy house...the only thing creepy about it was that there were some drug dealers who stopped us. After that we went to Tombstone. Jack wanted to go into Big Nose Kate's (a bar) but me and Lou said no. We also stopped by the Boothill Cemetary, but decided it was better not to jumped the fence to see inside. Afterwards we drove to Bisbee and hung around there for a while. We got home sometime in the early morning.
Saturday, my friend came down from Tuscon again and we went to Bisbee, seeing as he had never gone before. I'm really thinking, with all the time I spend in Bisbee, that I should just move there...Yesterday was another little SCA event. It was pretty windy and that whipped my hat around a little too much for comfort's sake, but the event was fun anyways.
Now back to the real world for Mia.

 War    2003-03-20 10:54:07 ET
Everyone has different opinions, different feelings. Some have friends and family in the Middle East right now, some don't. Some condone the choices of our president and his council, some don't. There are some out there who love war, and others who would rather it never happened.
This is a difficult time for everyone. Sitting here wondering if my friends deployed in the Middle East will be coming home at the end of their 6 months walking, or in a box. Wondering if my father will be re-enlisted, if my friends will be drafted, if the planes I keep hearing overhead are holding soldiers looking for the last time down upon thier home. Wondering if this conflict will ruin our relationship with other countries. Wondering how people can be such assholes as to come up with "freedom fries" for christ sake.
Whether you believe one thing, or another is your own right. Whether you're proud of your country, or wanting to leave for what you believe to be better place. For right now we are One, we are United, we are American, and I, for one, find comfort in that. I feel pride seeing all those American flags flying tall and confident right now. President Bush's words of confidence comfort me to think that maybe there is a chance that my friends and family will be returning from war safely.
Post you're opinions if you'd like, it's your right to have them, even if we don't agree.
1 comment

 Death quotes    2003-02-28 11:16:31 ET
"The death of what's dead is the birth of what's living."

~Arlo Guthrie

"While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die."

~ Leonardo Da Vinci

"I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke of death."

~ Francis Bacon

"Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever."

~ Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

"When one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language."

~ John Donne

"Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."

~ Woody Allen

"One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly."

~ Nietzsche

"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

~ Woody Allen

"I'm so happy dancing while the grim reaper

cuts, cuts, cuts, but he can't get me.

I'm as clever as can be, and I'm very quick but don't forget;

we've only got so many tricks.

no one lives forever."

~ Danny Elfman

"The world is the mirror of myself dying."

~ Henry Miller

"Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave."

~ Bishop Hall

"Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying."

~ Jean Cocteau

"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once."

~ William Shakespeare

 Speaking of wondering    2003-02-04 07:02:09 ET
An interesting question was brought up in my Latin class the other day. Just another amazing way that ancient poetry can intrigue the mind of today in the present's problem. Ask yourself: are you the sort of person who saves and saves, never to let a penny slip, so that when you are older, you can enjoy the high life? Or are you the person who focuses on the here and now, living everyday to the fullest, screw the future?
What if you are the saver? For fifty years you've saved and pinched, so that now you have a fortune under your belt. Finally, you can make big plans. But, sadly, this is the day fate decides you should die (this is putting all religious and spirituality, assume that there is no afterlife). What now? For a life of putting today's enjoyment aside, for tommorow's pleasure, all gone to waste.
But on the other side of the coin: here you live for today's sake and for the pleasures you can find right now. Life is good, you've been everywhere, and seen everything. But what about when you're 50 and can no longer work? How will you survive when there is no funds to live off of?
Which kind of person are you? In some ways, both are bad. You either put everything off until you are too old to enjoy it, or do everything now and leave nothing for retirement.
I guess I'm a mix, leaning for to the here and now. Sure, I have a savings, a meager one at that. But being a student, without the choice of financial aid, I'm very much broke. That depresses me, but at the same time, what little extra money I do have, is usually only saved long enough to enjoy something in the near future. Like going to Boston this past fall, or going to California last summer, or going to Estrella War (SCA event for all those confused). I only look to the future when I am thinking about school.
I don't like looking to the future. I don't see myself ever reaching or passing the age 25. I'm not one of the those girls who is thinking about marriage, or children. I don't see myself ever getting married, to be perfectly honest I think I would probably be a horrible wife.
There may not be anything for me when I'm older, but hopefully, if I reach that age, I'll have some stories to tell others about my being young and stupid.
1 comment

 Project Scribe    2003-01-14 07:41:46 ET
Ok lemme explain the unusual postings as of late. MammaDuck needs help. I've started writting different things over the last couple months, but I don't know if any of it is worth continueing or fixing up. Please comment if you want. Good, bad, I need any feedback I can get.

There’s A Killer on the Streets. That’s what the headline said. In fact, that is about all that the newspapers said after the body of a teenage girl was found in a ditch near Buena High School. They did not give the name of the victim, nor any description, just that she had been found strangled and mutilated by one of the English teachers sometime around 11:57 AM on Tuesday, November 5. There were no quotes from the local authorities, no news about a memorial service to be held, no warnings for the local sleepy southern town to keep their eyes out for suspicious behavior. And that is just how Shelly wanted it to be.

 Sasha MacLain    2003-01-14 07:27:55 ET
Have you ever noticed how in a moment, everything could change? In a single second your world could become so drastically different, leaving you without any idea of what to do or even who you are anymore. Or what you are. From the beginning of my life, or from what I remember, I was always the same. I was always just Sasha: Daddy’s little princess at first, then Captain of the Ponytail Softball League, then President of Garden High School both Junior and Senior year, and finally Sasha MacLain: number one reporter for the Tucson Daily Report. None of that seems to matter now that everything has changed. Now that I have changed.

I am now going to take you back to just before this life-altering event took place. This is so you can understand everything a little better. Although I am not sure that you will believe any of it anyway. If you do not believe me, then I hope that this makes for a good piece of science fiction. I am now going to switch this writing from first person to third to make this a little more interesting to read. As a reporter I assure you, everything I will write is true. It is your choice if you wish to believe me. So I leave you now to the story of how my life changed so drastically from the normal, nearly boring, to…well, I’ll get to that in due time. I bid you well.

Post It’s And Microrecorders

A sword, majestic looking shone in the light of the battle. Its hilt was covered in thorns that cut the hand of any one who attempted to wield it. The man grasping the blade seemed not to care that his blood was spilling out onto the ground. He was fighting with another man who seemed to be fighting for the blade more than he was fighting for his life. The rate at which they fought made everything else seem to move very slowly. The battle behind them changed from roman soldiers and barbarians, to Southern and Northern troops in the Civil War, to a battle somewhere in Europe during World War I. Fear was so thick in the air around that it almost covered the scent of spilt blood and the noise of men dying and others satisfying their lust for the kill. Blood splattered against her tanned skin, she could feel its warmth still as it dried on her skin. She wanted to scream but could not find her voice. Another man wielding a bayonet came charging for her. He was only a few feet away but she could not find her feet to run. Closer and closer he came until….

Sasha sat up in her bed still breathing heavy. She felt a wetness on her skin and she wiped her hand across her neck and pulled it away to make sure that the liquid was sweat and not blood. She had for as long as she could remember been cursed with nightmares of various things that she could never even begin to understand. After 22 years she had finally accepted the fact that they would always be there to haunt her. This particular nightmare had been plaguing her sleep for an entire week now. Ever since she had started to investigate for her newest article: The Underground Gothic Culture.

The Tucson Daily Report, in which had been one of Arizona’s leading newspapers for many years, was in danger of being closed down permanently unless there was something to peak subscribers and potential subscriber’s interests. Sasha’s boss, Jed Foster, had given her the job of saving the paper and that was exactly what she intended to do. The idea for the article had come to her after seeing the movie Queen of the Damned for the third time in the theaters. Really she had only gone to see it for her attraction to Stuart Townsend. She in no way had ever believed vampires to exist, but there were so many others who not only believed vampires existed, some also believed themselves to be these creatures of the night themselves. How ridiculous the thought was, but it would make a great article that just may be what the paper needed to revive interest and subscriptions. So she set out immediately researching the local Gothic Underground, as she named it.

Her research took her to many different places around Tucson, many of which she never knew existed. Sometimes the people sporting ripped black clothing, blue and green dyed hair, spikes, and plastic fangs were all too much for her and she could hardly contain her laughter. Sasha pursued every little thing that presented itself to her. After a week of Goth dance clubs, movies, parties, and some private interviews with people she literally pulled off the streets, she still did not have anything that would really make a great article.

Visions of blood and metal danced in front of her eyes for a few minutes more and she rubbed her hands over her face. The images faded away and all she saw now was the familiar yellow wallpaper on the walls of her studio apartment. The silence was broken abruptly by the ringing of her telephone. After a moment she decided to let the machine get it. A very familiar voice came floating from the machine.

“Sasha? Sasha babe? You there?” came Jed’s voice.

“Nope, I’m not here.” She said aloud. Skarie, her cat, looked curiously at her from his perch on the kitchenette counter. Staring straight at the fluffy gray tabby cat she waved her hand in front of his nose and invoked the Jedi Mind Trick while saying, “I was never here.”

A pitiful little meow was the only response she heard while she turned and started to reheat the coffee that had been in the coffeepot for almost a week now.

“C’mon Sash, pick up…fine, this is important, we need your article by this Friday, that’s only four days. If the boss doesn’t see something good in this issue, then it won’t be going out and we’ll all lose our jobs. You’ll be able to get another job no problem, but I won’t be able to find anything after being the man in charge of a failed paper. We need you. If you pull this off babe, I’m gunna get you the most expensive fuckin’ bottle of champagne I can find. Don’t let us down. Much love.”

The machine clicked off and Sasha sighed. She knew how serious the situation was and it bothered her that they relied on her so heavily to save the paper. She lifted the coffee cup and put it against her forehead until the heat got to be too much for her sensitive tanned skin.

The phone rang again and the sudden noise startled her, causing her to drop her coffee cup. The cup shattered on the tile of the kitchenette floor and coffee splashed up onto her flannel nightgown.


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