2002-07-21 12:43:19 ET

back to the future II is on.

sweet shibby. i love this trilogy. i swear one of the best trilogy's out there.


anyone wanna make me some lunch?

2002-07-20 23:14:39 ET

I thought I could leave
Yet still they pull me back here
My unhappy place

there is no real cure for a life of loneliness and depression. all i want it to be loved. and end this unbearable pain that i have had for the past 21 yrs.

it is all becoming to much to stand anymore. i have the desire to just give up and end all my suffering.

COWARD. bah. this fukken suckz. *sobs*

i want some drugz.

2002-07-20 16:23:42 ET

oh my i am sooo extremely tired.

i fell asleep on the white lines about 11 am this morn?

i just woke up with them all over my face and i kno have harsh chem burn on my right cheek.

*ouchies* and as for my below post. i have not done any stimulant based writing for soo long.

mad crazeee biz sOn' hah.

i think i thought put a baking soda compress on my face. that the only thing that reverse the effect of this harsh substance. i look like a mutant.

2002-07-20 06:13:23 ET

swirling bubbling burning acid swimming in empty pits.

something is aggravating it , temparary relief in pink liquid.

covering up the pain, but soon it comes back.

in search of permanent relief, i only kno of short lived releases.

avoidance of unknown creations of my subconcious.

as i try to seek out the roots i am often misled by dreams and chemical warfare.

my mind lost! not knowing whut is real and whut is not that of altered states.

one can only "run" for so long, eventually it needs rest and replenishment.

then only more confused and tired as it creeps into yet another marathon.

as it starts to fall behind, it feels the flames touching its heels.

its way ahead of the game again, this time its different tho.

there will be no more races planned after this one.

are they ever planned tho? NO

always thrown in by some form of sudden invisible force.

then lifted amoung with the "white clouds" as its own exsistence is over.

floating in time, clinging to the future.

2002-07-19 19:14:57 ET

hannibla the movie is on soon.

i am goin to return videos and get junk food and come back and watch it.

altho i do not know if i can handle ray lolitas skull cap action. and then eating his own brains.

see. i just gagged at the mere thought. oh my.

plus i am home alone all weekend. i could not handle nightmares all alone.

*meep* i am soo paranoid. someone come stay with me for the weekend. i have drugz! and lots o food.

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