reason 2.0    2002-09-24 05:44:03 ET
so last night was spent struggling with my new hardware emulator, reason 2.0. couldn't get it to record shit, then i found out from jarv that i can only step record...or go and get a midi interface. i've step recorded before...but it's a tedious task. anyway, i plan to read the manual thouroghly today...and try the tutorial later this week. bummed that i'll miss the party at justines. sigh. in other news, gave the new symbiotic track "disintigrated" to ian fford and dj cyn on saturday. so maybe i'll be hearing it in rotation soon. work calls.

 gone away    2002-09-23 06:13:46 ET
the weekend was a total waste. all i did was go clubbing on saturday night. and that's IT. got too drunk. must cut back on the alcohal next time. another week looms ahead of me. going to syracuse for the weekend. hoorah. it'll be good to get out of the city for a bit. but i know i'll be dying to get back after one day. got choked up watching the end of armageddon last night. what a dork i am. i am such a sentimental sucker. sigh.

 you see what can't be seen    2002-09-20 06:56:59 ET
wow, another dream this morning! most of it slipped away as i came to work today and it was not nearly as bizaare as the previous one. i remember riding in the back of my mom's car with this girl candace i know from a while back. my mom is driving and my grandmother is riding shotgun. then all of a sudden, candace and i start making out...right in front of them. sometime while we were making out, candace had somehow morphed herself into my ex-wife! we had arrived at her house (which was the neighborhood i went to high school from, but she never lived there) and we dropped her off. she seemed sad to be leaving the car. as we round the corner, i feel pretty sad also..and my mom loses control of the car and sideswipes a parked van. i take that chance to hop out of the car and run back to the corner where we had dropped my ex off. i see her walking towrads me in a bright orange outfit with a huge suitcase and our dog, grendel. i kneel down to him but he growls and barks at me. i get up and we were just about to walk away when i woke up. stupid alarm. i wish i knew how the dream ended.

 what dreams may come    2002-09-19 09:57:55 ET
i had a dream i'd like to record here before i forget: i ran into a girl i know from LJ and batcave on the street and we started hanging out. then we went to the Met and they had this HUGE display which looked like the opening to an egyptian temple. and off in the distance, i could see pyramids and such which i assume is a backdrop painting. then we go inside and there is all this egyptian stuff on display. i wander the museum and find parts still under construction. and a huge library with all these really awesome ancient books. i get back to the lobby and there is a table full of hot rivet chicks litening to a lecture. about what i have no idea...but i get it into my head that i can will myself to fly! and i DO! just for about 10 seconds and not much control. i imagined each footstep getting lighter and lighter until my feet didn't touch the ground anymore. all the rivet chicks clap when i hit the floor. then all of a sudden, i am at the bombing of nagasaki. i follow the bombers out of japan (with my newly discovered flight powers, i am assuming) and destroy one of them. the other one gets away. then all of a sudden I am flying the other bomber...which i crash cause i don't know how to fly. the end. i have no idea if this means anything at all.

 good intentions    2002-09-18 08:44:21 ET
why 50 year old ladies want to take me home with them, i have no idea. yesterday was not a good day. unbearably loney and despondant. today isnt shaping up all that well, either. all i wanna do is go home and sleep. smoked a cigar last night...some random dude offered me one last night. seemed like a good idea at the time. it wasnt. i feel sick today and i sure thats the cause. supposed to hang out with matt and colin tonight...but i dont feel up for it. next week maybe. i need to quit smoking. i did once, i can do it again dammit!

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