Poets Are Misguided Lovers    2005-09-04 20:25:59 ET
"A Strange Way To Say I Love You"
Swallow the pills to wash away the dreams
For all is not what it seems
All alone til your head rests upon the pillow
And you melt below a wave of tears like the streams of a Mississippi tributary
Flooding and covering a sleeping child on it's bank
"Please don't pray for me" he cries
"Just hold my mother with the love in your heart" as he dies
Not with a mighty flash of Hollywood lights
But with a sigh
Please... Please... Please don't shed a tear for your heartbroken form
We all go to where the weather is bright and sunny
And the path to your door is well worn
We are the boys who love their mothers at the end of the storm
And sleep when the sun is shining before

 "Isn't it more exciting to not have permission?"    2005-08-22 18:57:53 ET
The night swirls around me in hues of blue gray and infinite black
These star struck eyes cannot begin to describe the emptiness
With a hint of directionless breeze I'm sailing trackless
Like a lone singer's voice carving a stiletto pattern through the air
Iím blowing kisses to the backs of the prettiest girls
With the prettiest smiles attracting the most greedy of stares

If hearts were more than cards all the queens would own every beat
Every pause of my open chest with cheating lashes and empty sighs
A rainbow of emotion lights the footpath of goodbyes
With lips imprinted on the most made-up faces
We all enter and exit through the same dark places
And night is the only difference I have in my escape

So when I awake screaming, "I am incapable of love"
I feel more honest than I ever have before
5 comments

 An aside if you will...    2005-08-18 06:56:44 ET
"Whatever helps you sleep well tonight
You have my blessing
Whatever you need in order to smile
You can take my heart as a pillow
And my voice as a blanket with words to reassure
I just won't be donating my two cents to the plot
Even though all five senses ring with a warning
An image of tears and filled to the brim with a melancholic tonic
Mixed well with your ring finger and tossed back with wild abandon
And you are the one who's doing the abandoning
Not I... Not I
Says Jack's fleeing love struck soul
Your tears will fill any bottle I finish"


My friend that I love is getting married... is it okay that I'm angry even though she doesn't know how I feel? The wedding is next June but just the thought of it... ach... makes me sick to my stomach. The guy is in the military(student at West Point) and he has June off before he does further training and then he gets to pick his permanent spot 6 months later. Which means they will be married... have a month together and then he's off. The guy will probably go to Iraq or China with the amount of training he has and the fact that he speak Cantonese. So yeah... the above poem is a dedication piece.
1 comment

 "I hate to shatter your ego but this ain't the first time"    2005-08-16 20:22:54 ET
Across from the city marked by the grave
The lights go out and the screen goes down
And it's just you and me with the jealousy to make this three
Yeah you know what they say about a crowd
Happiness is with the wind right now
And all you have is me
It's only me

Yeah this is the movie where the hero dies
And the audience goes home to somehow justify their lives
And it's just you and I
Just you and I alone angel

Don't you look down now or you may lose footing or even face
Better look into my eyes and imagine them pale, cold, hollow and out of place
Or even better yet with tears running over and down shuddering sobbing cheeks
Down the lines where the sad and the lonely meet
With all the credit you deserve
Wouldn't that be a sight for the sore
Running over the curves of flesh that divide like parallel lines
Never making sense
Yeah nothing like this ever makes any sense anymore

Nothing dead or dying about a heart transfixed by an arrow
Whether it were Lucifer's own or by Cupid's bow
No nothing of dust could hold so still
As the blood red clouds loom above with unrequited lovers' blood to spill
It's a measure of being alive that I wish for
It's a message of strength to which I have no answer
And I'm left with a beep and a pause and silence
With the skeletons of chance swinging in the wind

And all I can think of is two fingers drawn
With one eye to show the way

Pride and laughter fill this cemetary of a town
This cinder block I'm riding til the end
And you're blindsided by the words and the verbs
Bent into four letters to form the thing that you've never heard
And with all the years running down the side of my face
I bet you are liking this already
6 comments

 Just more thought...    2005-08-05 20:31:10 ET
If life begins to become too much is it healthy to wish for the end but not do anything about it? It's not like I want to live but for the past year I have really felt like living was an uphill struggle that will eventually get the best of me. I'm already high strung and easily angered. I don't lash out... but I do tend to verbally attack people that I would have normally ignored. I just don't understand what is so beautiful about a world that forces one to be negative in order to survive...

okay... that is all.
3 comments

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