I'm so sad...    2003-10-07 14:22:41 ET
My dad read my poem at the funeral today.


 Well I'm Happy...    2003-10-05 21:42:49 ET
I had a fun night in Austin but had this little problem when I was trying to enjoy myself at the concert. Here's a little snippet from one such conversation I had with a girl...

Girl: Hey I know you must get this a lot but are you Jason Mraz?(with hope in her eyes... I almost said yes just to get her to smile but I thought that would be bad)
Me: Ummm... I wish but no. I'm sorry. (what else was I supposed to say?)
Girl: Well my name is Holly and you look so much like him... which is a very good thing so can I get a picture with you and pretend that you are Jason Mraz?
Me: Heh... sure. (kind of confused now)
Girl: Awesome... what's your name?
Me: Hi... I'm Jason. (yeah... i really said that... it was funny to see her reaction)

Now multiply that conversation by 20 and add a boy congratulating me on a great show tonight and some girls asking me for my autograph along with my number and you have a hint at my evening in Austin seeing Maroon 5... and I got Adam Levine's(lead singer) and James Valentine's(lead guitarist) signatures.

I had so much fun... and got mistaken for a pop sensation. So I think tonight was rather successful but I'm so tired that (don't take i the wrong way) I am just going to go to sleep now and just return some of the posts I've had lately.

Oh yeah... and if any of you would like to do something nice... if you could say a little prayer or just keep my family in your thoughts at 11:30am on Tuesday, my Great-Grandfather's funeral is at that time and my dad is a pall bearer.

So tonight was a good escape.

 Sad Songs...    2003-10-04 22:08:03 ET
Well my Great-Grandfather passed away Thursday at 5:30pm... atleast he's in heaven.

I've been listening to The Early November a lot.

"Twelve days gone by, since I have seen you last,
I'll give this one more try,
I'll give it all my best, and, I'll ask
What could you be doing that is so much fun?
Without me by your side,
Without me by your side.
And, I will take a step back, and, I'll let you ahead,
And, I will take a step away, and, see if you come back,
Because there's no more trying to make this so right,
There's no more trying,
There's no more trying tonight."
-Sunday Drive

I know it's about a break up but it's the mood i'm in.

 Life at it's purest is departing...    2003-09-30 10:54:42 ET
My great-grandfather is dying. He is not eating, not drinking... nothing... he wants to die and I am angry at him. I am angry that he is choosing to depart rather than continuing in this life. I hate the fact that I'm in Texas and he's in Illinois and I can't go see him in his last few days. I hate the fact that I never asked him more about his life... that I never hugged him more... that I never told him I loved him more... that while he is dying I'm here in College Station in classes. That when he needs me the most I am not there. I hate myself and I hate my selfishness. He's 98 years old but for some reason I want him to deal with his pain and wait til I get to see him once again... I hate myself for that. I should be happy that he's going to a better place. And I know that he's going to Heaven because he is the epitome of everything that I want to have and the epitome of goodness and pure love... and just a beautiful human being. No matter if you think there is no God he is my sole reason for believing that there is a heaven because no one like him should ever have to spend eternity anywhere else. I love him so much and I am so incredibly sad you cannot believe... I heard from my mom about all this and just started writing and wrote this song in the last 10 minutes trying not to cry because I am a man and I am not supposed to and I hate myself for not remembering what he looks like right now... I know the conversations we had but no matter how hard I think I cannot remember the color of his eyes or his smile or anything... I hate myself.

 Another Funny Link....    2003-09-29 21:41:37 ET

Okay so this one had to be linked... it's fucking hilarious!! I laughed my ass off...

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