I'm going insane
2005-05-03 14:07:18 ET

I almost got in a fight this last saturday. The kid was lucky that I walked away and didn't punch his midget-ass in the face.

Basically, I happened to say something that he found offensive. I apologized excessively, repeatedly telling him that I didn't mean to offend him and that I'm an asshole for doing so, but he wouldn't drop it. I mean, there I was, talking to 3 fine-ass girls, making them laugh and having a good time. He comes and sits on the same couch as these 3 girls. The kid's name is GERM and he makes art that I kinda respect (stencil art is something that I have a very hard time accepting, though his style has some innovative techniques), so I didn't mind at all his sitting down to join in the conversation. Then, in my discourse, I happened to say something blatantly offensive about jewish people. I intended the statement to be so outrages that it couldn't possibly be my honest opinion. He didn't catch that, and told me that I needed to leave his area. He didn't live there, and I was there first. But I didn't want to offend him, and I haven't a drop of anti-semitism in me, so I tried my best to take-back what I said and apologize. But he wouldn't drop it. I mean, to the point where it got rediculous on his end. I realized that he was actually trying to humiliate me in front of these attractive females (who I was doing very well with) and in the process cock-block as it were. So I was like "what? You wanna fucking do something?" And he was still maintaining his holier-than-thou stance. By this point, I was raising my voice and calling too much attention to myself. So, instead of making the scene worse, I bid my ado and paid compliments to the party organizers, who very-much urged me to stay, and walked home, alone.

I was on the path to making many new friends, but instead left of behalf of some cock-blocking motherfucker who couldn't let something insignificant go due to his Napolean-complex and his sensitive yet over-sized ego. Oh well. There will be more parties. And I don't need to fight. Fighting is stupid, especially when I'm fully confident and ready to beat the shit out of you.

I'm going through a hard time right now in my life. That is all. Sometimes the waves beat the shore hard and erratic. You just gotta stay tough and swim harder. I just feel like the old man and the sea, without a compass and without an orr.

I want to hold someone while going to bed tonight. I feel very lonely, though I've made more friends this last month than I have in years. Oh well.

2005-04-12 12:08:14 ET

This is the last time I post on this reoccuring misfortune that seems to befall me twice a week, around the same time, in the same place, with seemingly the same type of fuckheads: once again, I go to sit at a computer that has no one around it, and who comes up to sit next to me? Fine-ass girl? Cool scenester kid? Retarded student? NOPE! Ms. pushin'-300-pounds-and-it-just-don't-stop-with-the-body-odor-to-rock-the-spot! FUCK! I mean, it's always the same shit. Why people? Why? I didn't do anything to you.

I maintain a proper smell quota and, tell you the truth, it ain't that hard. I didn't even take a fucking shower today and I'm still maintaining.

WORK WITH ME PEOPLE!!! If you're a whale-of-a-woman, fuckin' wear deodorant and maybe consider some type of body powder to stay arrid and dry. Remember, when it comes to persperation, DRY IS GOOD! And don't forget that chewing on a piece of gum after a meal has actually been shown to help maintain proper dental hygeine, not to mention it helps to maintain proper breath-scent control. Oh, and try to shower daily! Wearing clean clothes also helps; it's especially important to wear clean socks EVERYDAY!

Lil' party at Daniel's hizzy...on Saturrrrday!
2005-03-28 17:34:48 ET

It twas a nice get together. Met some new people. Got to see my good friend Rosendo. Inherited some bongos from some kid who was rockin' a beret and was coming straight out of Norway or some shit. Did a lot of cocaine. Ended the night having sex with someone that I don't give a fuck about.

Oh how I wish I could find someone I care about to sleep with. I haven't had a meaningful, fulfilling sexual encounter since, uh.................

Tommorow, I convert/transfer drawings onto canvas. I'm getting this art shit straight this year, 'cause I'm tired of fucking around. My shit needs to get out, primarily because I see so many other motherfuckers making a name but ain't got shit outside of a degree and connections. I want to make it happen based on the actual work that I create. I mean, fuck, last saturday, I went to the 'saturday art walk' that happens every 2nd saturday of every month here in Long Beach. One of the galleries, which also serves as a straight-out Nike shoe gallery, was showcasing this wack bitch's art that was straight-out shitty American-steeze ANIME on canvas. I was like, 'what the fuck is this bullshit?' First off, ANIME belongs to JAPAN!!! Fuck globalizing anime. It ain't right to rip-off anime style and say it's your own, and it sure-as-hell ain't right to put that shit up on canvas in a hip gallery. And it wasn't even half good! This particular gallery that I speak of typically exhibits really innovative graffitti/stencil shit that I really bug-out on (and there was some of that), but this person was killing it. So, anyways, that's my motivation: to get up on some original shit and hold it down. If motherfuckers can make canvases in the wannabe anime steeze and get away with it, then the sky is the muthafuckin' limit.

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