2005-03-22 11:48:54 ET

Fuck people who need someone to hold their dick when they pee.

Slow, stupid, and boring-ass people are pissing me off today.

At least I'm not sitting next to Ms. Shower-once-a-week-and-apply-deodorant-even-less-frequently-than-that, or Ms. I'm-too-fucking-retarded-to-operate-anything-as-complex-and-intimidating-as-a-washing-machine. Oh wait, I think she just sat down next to me. I gotta go.

I need some love. Okay, I'm lying. I need some SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

Shouldn't someone be polite and tell her that she's got some B.O?
2005-03-08 13:37:36 ET

Maybe it's not a good idea to post on this site after my political science class. This is the second time in recent history that I've planted my ass right next to Ms. Smelly Pants. Different woman, similiar stench. Plus this time I can smell her breath bouncing off of her computer screen and into my face.

Next time I'll scope the situation prior to finding a comfy spot to report from. Until then, good evening and good night.

2005-02-22 11:03:25 ET

Damn...I would post an entry, but this woman sitting next to me has got some major muthafuckin' body odor. Maybe she forgot to shower. She's one of those twats who comes to the computer lab and play solitaire. I marvel at how pointless people like to be.

Oh, I did get a haircut. Some like it, and some say I look like a Republican asshole. I don't really give a fuck. It's short and easy to manage. Damn, I even got some Paul Mitchel shampoo. Needless to say, I'm big pimpin in the LBC and I'm keeping shit locked-down.

When I get my income tax back, I'm traveling. I hope someone can go with me. I'm not bullshiting this time!!!

Anyways, I love you. If you were food, I'd smear you all over my body and let dogs lick it off of me. If you were a car, I'd get you lowered with tinted windows and those rims that spin even when the car's not moving. If you were a newspaper, I'd make some fried fish and some french fries and I'd use you to wrap them up and then I'd talk a lot of shit with a british accent. If you were a person, I'd hug you and kiss you and I'd have a lot of sex with you.

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