the sea    2009-06-21 07:58:16 ET
we had been there for the last week. had nice weather, although it was to cold for me to swim; carsten went in every day, i only with my legs.
and we found a lonely beach where nobody was, only a pair o swans. that was great!
our room was with the view of the sea and the main beach, so we only had to go out to be on the water.
this was the last time carsten could give the most part for a holiday, he wants another new guitar, and needs new windows for his living-room
i hope i can lay back a little money every month, so we could fly to barcelona next year
i also could imagine to go to north-africa, itīs not so expensive for a week, too
but that means to live very disciplinated for more than a year

 solidarity is possible    2009-06-03 08:41:20 ET
today i worked at "psycho-cafe" and had good talks with two other "psycho-mums". first one of them talked to me about her "interims-lover". this was the second time she talked with me about that. and i thought she didnt like me. but we know each other for such a long time that we accept each other for now. and we both got our children when we were young, so we had the same problems with the grandmas and so on...
in a bigger round we talked about the view normal ppl have of psychotics,
and that in tv the most murderers and so on have psycho-problems.
but the most of us are very peacy, sensible persons with a thin skin.

so i felt ok to be there today, and we had sth to laugh, too.

here i feel ok the most time, too, and would like to write much more, but my simple school-english , you know.

 twenty days straight edge    2009-04-27 15:39:33 ET
but last evening i couldnīt stand it sober and had a few beer and some cigarettes. then i wanted more, to be real drunk, but didnīt do that, went to bed with a good book.
couldnīt sleep, so iīm here again!
wanna say hello to my buddies and wish that the sun will lighten up the darkness a little bit.(hope nobody will get the pig-influenza)

last month i forgot to hear my loved music, had a lot of bad tv, wasnīt often in net, only to play some games for my brain. because of that i was reading more.
tuesdays and thursdays i "work" in the clothes-shop of a psycho-clinic for a little money that helps. it should be good for me to have contact to the ppl there, and i like a few much, but most time there is depressing and boring. i cannot expect to get another, real job
that doesnīt matter, i try to make the best of it.

wasnīt out for more than a month. thursday kiste and i want to go to cinema, a film about punks in a village in the eighties, like our youth

tattoos: a few coulered stars and a madonna/maria on my arms, which was not so clever because of the sun and so i have to wear longsleeves the next time and kiste has to work on the maria again.

 back on the ground    2009-03-16 22:45:10 ET
iīve canceled the house-concert with luthea salom. i talked about it with her, when i was manic, now i feel unable to make a nice event of it.
thatīs so bitter, but i know this feeling.
and i can be proud, that i donīt had to go to hospital this time.
although luthea is unhappy now. but sheīs a strong person, and i have to look, that i donīt do too much.
better a normal, boring life with tv, than clinic all the time.
last time iīve been in clinic three years ago and i donīt wanna be there anymore!

 last weekend    2009-03-08 21:35:39 ET
we couldnīt get in to the poetry-slam, there were too much ppl, and we were too late. but we went back to a pub named "riptide". there was a two-man-band "supershirt", and they made a cool show.
itīs a nice pub,one of te "brain"-djīs and a friend of him do that, and they are very kind ppl. you can buy lpīs there and they have vegan burgers and so on. they opened 1 and a half year, and it was the first time, i was there.
and in the comic-shop next door i found 3 enki bilals. maybe carsten gives me one of them for my birthday next month.
the weekend with the dog was nice, we walked a lot, but the cats were not amused. i hope theyīll get used to it. but jack wonīt be so often with us, cuz she has another sitter in her near, and jack will be some weekends and some evenings with us.
today i have a free day, maybe iīll go to the "psycho-cafe" in the afternoon.
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